I woke up this morning with this verse heavy on my heart.
Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all you soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no greater commandment than these.”
It was like a big spiritual spanking for me as I have been very grumpy and probably hard to live with lately.
I started this blog to encourage woman and speak truth into their lives. This doesn’t mean that I am above both. I know I am not. So then I thought well maybe someone out there needs to hear this too!
I have been very negative lately about me in general. The more I try to encourage you how beautiful you are and how awesome it feels to set goals and reach them. I have been walking around with self doubt, and a critical spirit about myself.
I just read Crash the Chatter Box by Steven Fortick and it was a great read. It made a lot of sense but obviously I need to go read it again. The truths that I learned about mindless chatter didn’t seem to take root in my heart.
I will be turning 30 in a few short months and the pressure to be 30 and fabulous is really kicking in. (Why I think you should be 30 and Fabulous sure beats me!)
Why must I live with so many pressures I (me, Ash’Leigh) put only on myself? I hate pressure. It is thick, and heavy, and smuggling. It chokes the happiness out of my spirit. It creates false expectations that I (me, Ash’Leigh) only place on myself. It is like I (Me, Ash’Leigh) am my greatest enemy, my greatest competitor. I sure do get tired of me!
There are a lot of things that I am just not happy with right now with myself but I will not bore you with the details. They are silly anyways but because I have sat and highlighted them in my mind, blowing them up like a Ginormous sized Advertisement Billboard, they have became HUGE and daunting to me. We have a tendency to do this!
Mark 12:31 brought some clarity to my bad attitude lately. I am not really upset with everyone around me. I am lashing out in grumpiness because I am not happy with myself. I am not truly loving myself.
Are you lashing out and taking anger out on random strangers or the ones you love?
Here are some signs to look for.
Unexplained grumpiness towards your children or your husband, friends, family.
Extreme irritability with the WORLD and everyone in it.
Feelings of doubt and insecurities on several areas in your life.
Speaking negative remarks about yourself to others. Example: “I could never do that, I am not smart enough.”
Letting how your body fits in your clothes that day dictate your attitude and your mood.
Majority thoughts on negativity.
Picking out every single flaw on you and every single human around you.
I think there is some insight in this scripture. We are told to love our neighbor as we love our self, but in reality we actually TREAT OTHERS how we TREAT OUR SELF.
Maybe you don’t. Maybe you have learned to fake loving everyone else while inside you are being choked with insecurities and self doubt and hate. I think this can only last for so long. Click here to learn why I am not faking things anymore!
The truth sets you free.
I Love God with all my heart. I have been asking him to change my attitude repeatedly lately. I know when something is off inside my mind. I am thankful for this reminder this morning.
I have to get back into grips with What God thinks of me.
I am his Child. John 1:12-13
I am created in His image. Gen 1:27
I am deeply Loved by Him. Jer 31:3
I am Forgiven. 1 John 1:9
He never gives up on me. Philippians 1:6
I am always on His Mind. Psalm 8
His works are Wonderful so I am Wonderful. Ps 139:13-14
I am not rejected! Isa 41:9
I am the apple of HIS eye. Zec 2:8
We can’t be who God has created us to be with a CRITICAL NEGATIVE SPIRIT. Satan knows this and I believe that this is his favorite way to drive us insane and kick us of our course.
But THANK GOD Greater is He who is in me, then he who is of this world!
We need to recognize the attack from the Enemy and then rebuke the negative, critical spirit attacking our mind. Then pray by asking God to restore the damage it may have caused in our hearts, help us see ourselves through His eyes, and help us to love ourselves like he loves us. We need faith to believe what his Word says about us allowing it to become our foundation of our own identity; our true identity in Christ.
We need to build ourselves up instead of tear ourselves down. This is important because I believe we will leak what we are filling ourselves up with. If I am feeling nasty and critical inside I will leak this onto my husband, my children, my friends and quickly critize them, but if I am full of the love of God and building myself up in his words, his truth, I will leak this onto others. (Encouragement, love, support. etc..)
Be True to yourself always!
What helps you come out of a self loathing funk?
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