When You Can’t Find What You Are Searching For

Do you ever feel a little lost in this world like me? I wish I could tell you that I have mastered the arts of all things pertaining to life in my short 35 years of existence on this planet, but sadly I can not. Don’t lose me, don’t click the back button yet.  I promise this is not a pessimistic blog post. I would like to think of it more as thought provoking, and a call to action! You see as much time as I spend searching the inter webs for insight, ideas, help, and entertainment, I ended up being stumped today as I could for the first time not find what it was I was searching for.

Of course, this got me thinking!

What if… sometimes we can’t emulate from someone else’s story line because we were not designed to? I mean yes we all know we are individuals created so intricately that we have our own finger prints, but if you stop and watch the patterns of this world, everything pertaining to life and life style’s are based on trends and relevance to the times by people we call influencers.

WHAAT!?

If you stop and think about how absolutely lame and boring that is to conform to the patterns of the present time are you actually becoming the person you were created to be, or a counterfeit of another someone in society? But, not only lame but also exhuasting and not really obtainable in our natural raw authientic state.

My point is, why do we search and think that what we are searching for exist when maybe we are suppose to create a life style no one else is currently living? What is are Why for our every day purpose of getting up and moving forward? I think if we can slow down and actually think for ourselves what are why is then we can create in our own dynamical way a lifestyle that is tailored for the way we were designed to be. What drives us, and what will be the rich ingredients to this self made original recipe that will sustain us and bring us happiness and purpose for our every day life? I think we tend to gravitate towards common interests because it makes us feel like we belong to something bigger then ourselves. Also, we don’t like to be alone. But how many times have we personally not been true to ourselves because deep down inside we aren’t truly what we become by default. I am not suggesting that we can’t have commonalities and simularities, but to not completely become all of what someone else has become for themselves. Have commonalities but don’t be a complete copy of another, which creates sterotypes of people. Don’t be a sterotype.

I don’t know about you but when I want to change, I dive into whatever this change is going to bring about. For example, diet. Say I want to become a vegetarian, so I do all the research, watch all the films, read all the books and blogs and now I have laid a foundation for this new eating life style with knowledge and a game plan to roll it out. Every time I have searched for some one else’s way of doing life, every time, un doubtfully it has brought me to this place I am sitting her today. I am still in square one, reaching, searching, looking for a mold I can fit into. BUT WHY? Why can’t I create my own mold? What if God created you and me to have our own molds, our own way of designing a life that ultimately glorifies Him? And, what if he did this because he knew this one mold we get to create with him for ourselves would bring about the most sincere self-confidence, self-value, and happiness? Our love for him of course being the anchored fondation to this formation.

I feel like before I can move on with this new way of thinking for myself, I need to get on my knees and I need to seek the Lord in prayer. I need to ask him to reveal to me what changes I can make that will sustain consistency and bring him glory. I need to look into every aspect of my every day routine. I need to consider where all my time and energy is going and what the return is on my investment.  I need to stop comparing my life to others, I need to stop focusing on the flaws when I don’t measure up to what I perceive as their success and my failures.

COVID Season has been a season to let go of idols, pause, and reset. I have to go back to work in two weeks, maybe this truth is the motivating factor of the new rush I am feeling to master manipulate a grand plan to create a routine that will help my family and myself slowly transition back into a normal life. After all, don’t we all want to live a life that maters? Don’t we all want to make every day count for something? Our time here is short, but eternity is forever. I would rather spend my energy and focus expanding the Kingdom down here on Earth, and leaving love behind, then waisting it all away on what is trending, and relevant to the times. Letting go of what society and this world gleams as awesome, wonderful, healthy, sexy, acceptable, and laying seeds into some deep God breathing soil that will grow a happy, and healthy family, Woman, Wife, Mom, Friend, and Co-Worker. Now that sounds so much more realistic and EXCITING!

That’s God’s grace… to love us enough not to leave us lost! 😉 Grace to change, and grace to grow. I love this things we call life!  I love my life absorbing grace!

I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic? Do you truly live a life that reflects who you are–who God created you to be, who you want to become, or are you happy living pertaining to what everyone says is the right and favorable way to live? Do you emulate the life of others, or would you say you have created your own personal mold to fill? Drop your thoughts below!

 

Be Blessed-Ash’Leigh Harris

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