Gossiping With Our Daughters Does More Harm then Good

With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. Proverbs 11:9

Hey Momma! I wanted to shine some light on an area I believe as Mom’s we tend to over look because we think we are woman and by nature we like to gossip or defend with gossip especially pertaining to our daughters.

It is something we learned a long time ago in our childhood. We got upset. Some girl hurt our feelings so who do we trust? Who do we go and run to in a state of crisis (especially the younger aged girls trying to figure out life in 4th grade on up) Our Momma!! By God’s design as a woman and mother we are the spiritual guiders and the protectors of our children. After all, they are the fruit of our wombs, our treasures, our babies, and NO ONE better inflict pain or grief on what is ours! When we are not spiritually discerning and concentrating on TRUTH, we can over look our position as the soft landing, the hug, the reassurance, the security that they are so desperately needing in that moment of such horrific attack. So what we do is at an early age we create a very bad habit of teaching them to cope with their feelings by slinging mud back. We teach them that it is okay to lower someone else’s character/personality/actions by counter attacking with harsh and mean words to make us feel better in that moment.

It commonly can look like this…

“Mom! I am so upset! Kaitlyn today started to make fun of my jeans at lunch. She was telling everyone that I can’t be friends with her or whoever likes her because I am a mean person. Ugh she makes me so mad, she is the one that is stupid and says mean things to those girls she thinks are her friends behind their back. It really hurt my feelings when she started making fun of my jeans. I know I have different style but in front of every one in the cafeteria. Everyone was staring at me and laughing and I just wanted to hide under the table.”

Angry Momma Bear response;

“Kaitlyn huh? You mean Kaitlyn the girl who always has a dirty sweater on and her hair is never brushed? I can’t believe that girl had the nerve after all the things she wears. I mean I can’t even believe her mom lets her leave this house like that? Do they even own a washing machine? Don’t worry about her honey, you are way prettier, way smarter, why stylish then her. She is just jealous. Next time talk about her dirty hair at the lunch table. That should make her stop.”

And wow it just gets really ugly and out of control fast.

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

When we gossip we are two people speaking words of power (blessings and curses) and coming into agreement with them together. The mud we are slinging back onto the girls are not from heaven. They are from the pits of hell. We know Satan is the Accuser of the brethren. Can you see all the curses that are flying when we team up with our daughter and fight back with unkindness?

 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. James 3:9-10

Instead what we can do is lure the enemy into our camp, and then STRIKE HIM DOWN.

So what he meant for evil and such attack on dear daughter’s identity now becomes an opportunity for you to tare down his strongholds over her mind, and release freedom over her to stop believing the lies he wanted her to identify as truth in the first place, using the attacker friend as a messenger to manifest untruth in her current reality about herself.

Let me explain. You can not protect baby girl from all the evil and mean girls in the world! You will never be able to no matter what her age is, but if you are a wise momma you can give her tools to rise above the gossip and the mean word curses by giving her a super natural weapons called discernment, truth, and love.

One day the Holy Spirit gave me discernment on just how to have this moment with my daughter. I spoke the words out of my mouth he was giving me, and even though she did not enjoy it, she was finally able to calm down and understand that out of love I was trying to guide her into walking in truth and love and not hate. (It was also a wonderful illustration that she would be able to remember and hold on to.) I am thankful that the father aided me in this situation. The Bible says all we have to do is ask for wisdom and he will give it to us. It is so important as a Mom to reach out to PaPa God and seek his guidance in all areas of raising babies in our motherhood! So just a side note-ask him for help when you don’t know what to say!

I quickly explained to her that we live in a SeedPlantHarvest Ecosystem.

I then further explained that because of this Ecosystem we reap what we sow.

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalms 141:3

I told her to imagine that she has this Fruit Garden that she toils. For each kind word she speaks over her friends at school, or enemies..she plants a seed that will grow the most beautiful apple trees. I explained that these were not just any kind of apples, but the Best tasting juiciest apples she has ever flopped her lips to. I then told her to imagine what a mean and ugly word would produce? Every thing spoken out of your mouth is ready to be set into motion, wether good or bad, for us or against us. Our words have POWER. God’s words have so much power he Spoke everything into being! Can you imagine what kind of fruit is going to grow from a ugly tree? She sat there and you could tell it was trying to sync in. But this stuff is hard to let become truth because the FLESH feeds off offense, jealousy and anger! It gets a power surge when it feels like after it has been offended it let out the harder blow. Placing it on top, feeling like a winner. How foolish though because in reality the only thing that we feed to make feel good was the flesh, and now that tree we just planted has some stinky nasty fruit about to grow. When you get a nasty stinky garden, people around you can see and smell the rotten fruit, and guess what? You are not appealing to someone they want to be a friend to!

I then told her to remember the girl that flung the mood is planting as well at the same moment. She has a garden too. If her actions and words are ugly and harsh to those around her, she will eventually start losing friends because of the not so attractive garden she is cultivating. She did strike first. She did initiate the war so to speak on words, but you don’t have to fall for the enemies trick to cause you to spoilup your beautiful garden. That ugly is all on them. Let her keep it, not share it and cause your Garden to be contaminated.

I know this is hard. We are not so great a mastering our tongues, but there is Grace for the times we mess up. Grace to realize our feelings got us out of control, repent- forgive and try again to make a better choice in the future. You have to be very disciplined to keep a watch over your mouth.We can also along with our daughters stretch and grow in this mouth area! I know it is hard but I do believe that if we teach them this at a super EARLY age, and we continue to model to them what is the best use of our words and time as we communicate with others, and them about their problems, we are building their endurance up to exercise those spiritual truths and spiritual disciplines.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good….Titus 2:3

Ways to Grow Together not Gossip Together

  • Watch your own actions and words. She is watching you interact with your friends wether you notice her doing this or not. She is listening to how you react to harsh words spoken to you and what your responses are.
  • Be attentive and intentional– Listen to her side of the story. Let her know you care about her feelings being upset.
  • Be truth and Wisdom-Discern how the enemy has used this to attack her using her friend as the messenger. Then reveal truth in that discernment. Teaching our girls to look at the situation from a fresh perspective will help them to realize our emotions have a huge impact on what is actually fact or fiction.
  • Be the light in the Darkness– Pull out the GOLD and strengths inside of your daughter; pin point the insecurity and then build her up! Take the focus off the attacker and onto the deep seated root of her pain. Remind her that we have one enemy and he uses people to attack us.
  • Pray– Break that word curse off of her, ask the Holy Spirit to give her a chance to bless this person, and then pray for freedom to walk away. Teach her how to pray for those who hurt her. Ask that the father would open their eyes and remove the veil of darkness that is keeping them from seeing truth themselves. Also, pray for strength to remove herself from the situation and bite her tongue. Pray for discernment for your daughter so that when these word attacks come, she can see the enemy and his schemes or plan of attack. Pray spiritual armor over your daughter each day together. Teach her how to do this for herself as well.
  • Affirm to her the love you have for her, how special she is, and how much God loves her and desires her to walk each day out no matter what her age may be in freedom in him, and LOVE!

Father help us to steward motherhood rooted in your love and truth. I ask that you would give us spiritual discerning eyes to see the enemy and his attacks towards our children and their God given identity. Let us speak the words of love and truth over them and to them, and God please give them a heart to receive truth. Give our daughter spiritual antennas to realize that they wrestle not with girls at school, but with spiritual powers and principalities and darkness of this world, but greater is HE who lives in her than he who is ruler of this world. Give us strength to learn the lessons again that we have missed from our childhood. Let us be women who speak truth over our friends and enemies when people are looking and listening and not looking or listening. Help us to understand that our words have power to bless and to curse and help us to be disciplined in this area to have soft words like honey to put out the fires of the darts flown into our own camps! Thank you for your wisdom and revelation on this topic. I pray that the woman reading this would be blessed, strengthened, and encouraged in her role as Momma! In Jesus Name! Amen

Ash’Leigh Harris

You Got to Let Go to Receive

In order to receive something from someone else, ones hands must be empty. So many times our patient Lord has steadfastly waited for me to come to the end of myself in any given situation to receive what he had for me in that Season to thrive. So many times we are seeking and asking the Lord for his help but we are too busy asking with our hands full of the tools we think we need to fix the problem, not realizing only his tools were designed to fix our specific repairs. In order for him to “demolish” my anxiety, I have to let my anxiety go to receive his Peace. In order for him to heal my wounded heart, I have to let go of the sorrow and take it to him in the love exchange to mend what is broken. In order for him to give me joy and patience, I have to drop the anger and bitterness. There is always this GREAT LOVE EXCHANGE with our Lord, why? Because he is a gentle man, he will not get involved until he is asked. He allows us free will to make our own choices in life. We are created to fellowship with him, but also to be made more and more into the image of his Son Jesus from glory to glory. The most dangerous thing we can do is have a prideful spirit and believe apart from him we can handle our own lives, our own problems. Not only that, God is the essence of Brilliance. His ways are wiser than ours.

So let me ask you a question! What is it that you have been holding onto. That one thing you haven’t taken to him. Maybe out of anger towards him, or fear that it’s too big for him to fix? Maybe you haven’t been in a position for that exchange out of shame? He is merciful and he is just to forgive you if you confess and repent of maybe something you even caused to yourself out of rebellion or disobedience. Nothing can separate you from his love. He is always, always, always ready and waiting to save the day! After all he is our SAVIOR, our REDEEMER. It’s what he does best! 😉 His love overcomes what you hide in the dark. His Love overshadows mistakes, wounds, fear, brokenness, despair, and regret. Nothing means Nothing! 😉

If this is you and you are just not sure how to initiate the conversation with God let me help get your started! Repeat after me:

Lord, I thank you for your love and your mercy. I rejoice that there is no other God like you because you are enough for me! I just can’t bare the load of _____________________. I have come to the end of myself. I repent for trying to fix this situation all by myself. I know that you are the God of the impossible and I know this situation seems impossible but I lay my ________________________ down at your feet, and I receive by faith your mercy, your love, your forgiveness, your grace, your power, your_____________. I rejoice in what you are working out for my good behind the scenes. Even if I don’t see it, I know you are working it out, and I praise you for that. I don’t want to be left in my own despair! Rescue me, help me, change me, set me free. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

Faith Comes From What is Heard

Romans 10:17 Faith, then, is birthed in a heart that responds to God’s anointed utterance of the Anointed One.

The Scriptures teach us that faith comes from hearing. It is a belief that is birthed into our hearts and then is reproduced by our response/actions we carry out in this belief system. But just as there is faith there is also fear. Fear like faith comes from hearing. It is contagious. Such as Hope is contagious. Faith is complete trust and confidence in someone or something. Fear is an unpleasant emotion of a belief caused by something believed to be dangerous, a threat, or cause pain. Both are all birthed through what we hear. What we hear, what we accept, this is what we truly believe. That is why there is power in your Testimony, and why it is so important to SHARE with others what God has saved you from. Your words have power! Power to Bless, and Power to Curse. What are you listening to? Better yet, who are you listening to? I have said this before but I truly believe birds of the same feather always flock together. The direction you take depends on the movement of the wind your sailing on. Jesus will always carry you onward and upward. He says I have a good plan for your life. A plan to prosper you and to not harm you, to give you HOPE FOR YOUR FUTURE!

So when the doctor says you will be in a wheelchair in 5 years, you smile politely and say under your breath,”The is not where Jesus has planned to take me devil! I will not attach my faith to this fear!”

Jesus is the word.

Jesus saves.

Jesus transforms.

Jesus redeems.

Jesus set’s free.

Jesus heals the sick.

Jesus cast out devils.

Jesus came for the lost.

Jesus comforts those who mourn.

Jesus can raise the dead to life.

Jesus is alive.

Jesus is interceding on your behalf right now.

Jesus loves you.

Nothing is too impossible for him. His word is laced with treasure upon treasure upon treasure of his promises to you. Let me encourage you to grab hold to one of these promises. Believe in the promise. Wrestle with the promise to no get discouraged when you don’t see the tangible evidence manifested yet. Read a scripture promise out loud ever day until the words become your truth. Until your faith is stirred into a response which will then deliver action!

Are You Walking In The Wilderness?

Isaiah 43:

18  l“Remember not the former things,

nor consider the things of old.

19  mBehold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

nI will make a way in the wilderness

oand rivers in the desert.

I asked the Lord for a promise I could share on my blog for this upcoming week, and I heard very softly and assertively, ” I will make a way in the wilderness.” When we hear wilderness we think of a (Wild) place. For me I think of a scary dark place no one goes to. It is actually an uninhabited land, a desert place; lonely. Maybe you are experiencing PEOPLE problems, poor health, job changes, damaged or broken relationships, new diagnosis’s, loss of a loved one/friend, divorce, the abrupt ending of a once lively and habituated place now gone and out of sight. Now all you can see is the Desert in front of you, and you are scared. Suffocated by the loneliness of the new. You have never been here before so in your circumstance you can’t even fathom how “Behold, I am doing a new thing” could even be a possibility. But Jesus promises that he will never leave you nor forsake you. Even in the Wilderness when you feel alone: alone in your thoughts, alone with no friends, alone in your insecurities, your fears, your doubts. He is making a way. He is bringing rivers in the desert. He always, always has a rescue mission plan specially designed for you, because……..The enemy Will Always Lose no mater how much he tries to steal! I want to encourage you to change your perspective, look around. What does this wilderness look like? How can you bring life to it? How can you inhabit the land? Turn your focus off of fear and begin to expect. Expect the Lord to work this wilderness out for your good. Expect New to appear. Expect something new that will allow you to find life. It is always easier to minister and relate to each other when we have walked in their shoes, or in this case been in their wilderness. We can testify to how God made a NEW Way, how he sent help, how he flooded the desert land when we were almost completely out of hope, and brought rivers of his living life to quench our desolated soul.

Friend, I am not sure where you are in this story today: If you have just walked into a wilderness, trailing somewhere in the middle, or coming out, but I do want to encourage you that you are not alone. You have never been alone. God has been there all along providing even if you haven’t been able to see his work. Ask him today to show you the New in this Wilderness. Ask him how you can partner with him to start bringing life to this deserted place. Co-labor with him to bring out the New and then watch the beautiful new life that will spring forth. Once there is life…..there is no more wilderness!

One revelation I caught is this-God promised he would make a way (in) the Wilderness. He never said (through it). I would love to hear your thoughts.

Be encouraged and Happy Monday!

Jesus’s Luxurious Love

The older I get the more I understand and can appreciate the word Luxurious.

When we are younger we don’t pay much attention to the details. Whatever makes us happy or feels good, out of ignorance and youth we indulge, and we are just fine. As we age we gladly exchange comfort for the extra cash. Honestly 20 year old me would have been ecstatic to book a hotel that had a swimming pool. Mid 30’s me is all about that Jucuzzi bath tub and KING SIZE bed. Oh, and you better believe I am reading the reviews to see if this place is COMFORTABLE and CLEAN!

Luxurious to us is heated and cooled seats, extra fur in those house slippers, a silk robe, a big comfy couch we can melt into, or maybe even upgrading to the next package weather it be a spa day, bedroom suit, car, etc. In a nut shell when I hear luxurious I know it is the top of the line, maxed out, all bells and whistles, and I will benefit the comfort and enjoyment it brings to me.

I was reading Psalms 23 today out of the Passion Translation and what really caught my eye was the word luxurious attached to the Lord’s love. The scripture actually reads:

2 He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quit brook of bliss. 3 That’s where he restores and revives my life.

I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment. I imagined being in a true place of rest. A true surrender to my savior who offers me and welcomes me in to his luxurious love. I imagined the whole room was softly light, the smells were only the finest aromas of luscious flowers, the room had a huge couch that was covered in red silk. Honestly my mind can’t really perceive just how amazing this place was. Classy, fine, sophisticated, and a safe place created just for me. A room with all the upgrades; the bells, the whistle, and Jesus himself giving me his full attention as I just rested beside him.

That is our Jesus. He is so loving, so kind, and so luxurious. I imagine he has BIG swagger, and all the mansions he is building for us up in heaven makes the worlds most expensive luxurious mansion look like a Polly pocket home in comparison. I imagine there are technologies, fabrics, and “comforts” we have never seen, heard, or felt.

His love is so rich the closest word we can get to in our human dictionary is luxurious. His love is so soft, so enjoyable, so comfortable, so peaceful, so valuable, so powerful.

So, the next time your sister or your friend says you need to go rest, remember what opportunity is being presented to yourself. Really rest in his goodness. Rest in his love for you!

He is waiting to restore your soul in his luxurious love!

What are you waiting for?

Don’t Worry

I know what your thinking. Eye roll 🙄 this girl is over here telling me not to worry, but hello I feel like my life is crumbling right before my eyes. I know, I get it.

To say I don’t ever worry would be a lie, but the Lord is working on my heart with that. I have learned that when I am more open to trust him the worry fades.

Jesus says seek first the kingdom and it’s righteousness and all these things will be added on to you. I use to think material things but now I believe he is speaking of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Where there is peace and joy and patience there is no place for fear, doubt, or worry!

I want to encourage you to lay your worry at his feet because he cares. He loves you, he doesn’t want you upset. You were created for the impossible and that is living a life of freedom even if your bound in the flesh to a disease. We don’t have to live a worried defeated life because of what the enemy has thrown at us to kill, steal, and destroy.

Rise up beautiful one and find your strength in Jesus. He won’t let you down! 🙌🏻🙌🏻💜

Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What is too powerful for God?

He holds the whole world in his hands. The Bible tells us he spoke the World into existence! That’s right, spoke! His breath oh man, it’s mighty and powerful! His breath filled the lungs of the created first man, Adam!

We wrestle with so much opposition in this world, but wow to think of the profoundness that it is He, God, who holds the whole world in his hands!

Your world…. In his hands!

Be encouraged today there is nothing God can’t do! He can fix that mess going on over there if you let him!

Grow in Grace

The darkness will come. Fear will creep in. It’s all apart of living right? But, it doesn’t have to be our permanent outcome, or our new identity. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we will respond. In every moment God has always offered his grace to enable you to get through, to keep you strong, and to make you a fighter! You must fight! You must grow! Then, you must use your growth to empower, support, encourage others. What are we doing if we are not growing?

By Your Side

Cloud Heart

I was walking this morning trying to get some light exercise in because I’m soooo sore from starting back at the gym, listening to a teaching on the gift of exhortation, and this beauty caught my eye! When your beliefs in God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit are “relational” and not “religious “ in every detail of your ordinary day His presence is always by your side! ❤️😘🙌🏻

John 14:21
He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”

📸 Filtered by color only!

🤍 Ash’Leigh Harris