When we feel far away from the Lord

“holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith,”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭1:19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Lately life has seen to have thrown some curve balls, and what seemed like amazing momentum for our art ministry quickly seemed to evaporate into thin air like drops on glistening skin on a parched sun slapped summer day. There one moment, gone the next.

You see art had become a huge part of my life for the past few years as God was taking me on a self discovery journey in him through worshiping him in my artistic abilities. Events unfolded which caused me to have to put the art supplies down and concentrate on other things at the time.

I know I was made to worship and I know deep down in my heart I am a worshipper. I got side tracked and seemed to stop worshipping and did more praying on the sly. Distraction of course was the reasoning to all of this.

Also doors were shut on our creative worship ministry with the immigrations holding facility and well people seemed to perish with our vision. I had lost my vision and my spark. I had stopped worshipping in spirit and I began to feel as though I was shrinking away.

As I was parking Dora my Ford Explore into the parking lot where I work, I began to just ask the Lord how can I be signing and dancing and have so much zeal for him one day and the next feel as flat as a week old helium filled balloon? He then reminded me of a verse I had heard once about how we please God through our faith, and then I stared to string the thoughts along ..you just…. need ….to have…. faith …..to love…. me… because… I love you. You shrink back ….in fear because you ……get side tracked, and then ……think I’m disappointed in you, but …..really I’m not disappointed. I am sad …..because I miss …..our time together.

I like this scripture in Timothy because I believe it is a clear answer to the question of why we feel flat or dry or in lack with our relationship with Christ. We are missing the element of faith and being deceived that God is mad at us, or has turned his back on us because we have neglected our desire for him. Let’s be honest for a second when you start listening to those lies that are being launched at you that just because you didn’t read scripture today, you have done lost your salvation. Then what happens is by the end of the day you are so derailed and so side swiped by entertaining lie after lie you find yourself straying for some of your disciplines, and you start making choices that violate your conscience. Slowly and slowly with each careless choice you make you feel more isolated and buried in your own pile of mess, ever so far from where you were with Christ.

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of feeling ship wrecked and exhausted form trying to swim myself back to the shore.

The life safety vest is being grounded in faith holding tight to it even when you feel like you are drowning. Hold on so tight to your faith and even when you don’t feel like it continue to hold fast to your beliefs and let your moral compass lead your way. God is not going to leave you, he is not going to give up on you because you feel at the moment that you are ready to give up on him. Press in, and endure each season, each storm. It’s so cliche but there really is a rainbow that is glorious and on bright display once the dark clouds have rolled away and the rain drops have all fallen into the thirsty soil.

We should never stop thirsting for more of him because he promises to always quench our desires for more of him.

So stand tall, dust the fear off and wake your sleepy faith back up.

We must never forget we are His key holders to his Kingdom here on earth!

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