Category: Life

The Kind of “Good Report” No One Prepares You For

Today I had an appointment with my neurologist for my multiple sclerosis.

And technically… it was a good one.

My recent brain MRI showed no active lesions. No new damage. My doctor believes the DMT I’m on is doing its job—slowing progression.

This is the kind of news you’re supposed to celebrate.

But I walked in with questions written in my notebook—questions that have been sitting heavy on my heart.

“Things look good on my blood work and MRI,” I asked her, “but can symptoms from past relapses get worse over time?”

She explained that increases in body temperature can play a significant role in bringing back or intensifying old symptoms.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” I told her. “If I’m stable… if I’m not progressing… why do my old symptoms feel like they’re getting worse?”

And then it hit me.

The lump in my throat.
The tears I couldn’t hold back.
The weight of something I’m still learning how to carry.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say through shaky breaths. “I think I’m still grieving this disease.”

She handed me a tissue.

And my husband—steady as always—reminded me of something I needed to hear:
That I am doing a good job.
That I am taking care of my body.
That today is a good day… because the report was good.

But here’s the honest part no one really talks about—

Sometimes a “good report” still comes with grief.

Because deep down, I still hope for a different ending.
I want to hear:
It’s gone. It’s getting better. You don’t have to fight this anymore.

But that’s not the reality I’m living in.

So sometimes I get angry.
Sometimes I cry.
And sometimes these appointments feel like a twice-a-year reminder that I’m battling something invisible.

Today, I’m choosing to sit with it.

To rest.
To reflect.
To feel—without suppressing, without bargaining, without giving up.

I will keep the faith.
And I will keep fighting.

Fighting to reduce inflammation in my body through how I eat and move.
Fighting to stay consistent with the treatments that are protecting my future.
Fighting to hold onto hope—that maybe I’ve already seen the worst of this.

And learning how to listen to my body…
so I can navigate, and maybe even avoid, what tries to come next.

If you’re living with a chronic illness, I want you to hear this:

You are not alone in the highs and lows.
You are not weak for grieving something that hasn’t left your body.
You are not failing because it’s hard.

Feel it.
Release it.

But don’t let it steal your ability to see the good that still exists in your life.

Because even here… in the middle of it all—

There is still life to be lived.

Leigh Leigh

In the Middle of the Storm: Learning Who I Am While Life Is Unresolved

I am in the middle.

In the thick of it.

The chaos is swirling from every direction, and my mind is constantly trying to process the ebbs and flows of the punches life keeps throwing.

I started this blog from the perspective of learning how to stay steady in yourself while life remains unresolved…

and here I am.

Still learning.

Still becoming.

I have found myself this year in a constant battle—not of fixing everything around me—but of not losing myself while everything around me feels unstable.

Anger. Confusion. Resentment. A deep sense of unfairness.

It all stacks up.

It becomes heavy.

Unsettling.

And unlike anything I can simply “step away from.”

There is no escape plan for this kind of storm.

No shelter to hide in.

No boat to ride it out safely in the distance.

It is just me.

Facing me.

Learning me.

Trying to cope with things that feel unresolved and without clear reconciliation.

Relationships are hard.

Especially in dysfunctional family dynamics.

It often feels like no one gets what they want while continuing to repeat the same cycles over and over again.

But I have become aware.

Aware of the patterns.
Aware of the cycles.
Aware that I actually have the power to step out of the constant rotation I’ve found myself in.

But awareness is not simple.

Awareness brings clarity—but it can also bring fear.

And fear, if we are not careful, can begin to change us.

It can make us emotionally numb. Bitter. Angry. Detached.

It can slowly reshape our inner character.

Because the human body wants to protect itself from pain.

And sometimes, in trying to avoid our own pain… we end up passing pain onto others.

And I don’t want to become that person.

The one who was hurt and then hurts others.

I have spent my whole life fighting not to become that version of myself.

But I would be lying if I said there aren’t moments lately…

where the temptation to become cold just to survive feels easier.

Where becoming the “villain” in someone else’s story feels like a form of protection.

Because when you have been pushed aside for a long time…

unseen…
unheard…
unappreciated…

it wears you down.

So I sit.

I write.

I think.

I try to make sense of what is swirling inside of me.

And I gently ask myself:

Who do you want to be when this storm passes?

Because even if it takes years…

it will pass.

Do I want to become jaded?

Cynical?

Bitter?

Closed off?

Emotionally disconnected?

Or do I want to stay soft in places where life is trying to harden me?

I have learned that suppressing my emotions for too long has taken a toll on me—not just emotionally, but physically as well.

So I am learning to be present in my body.

To sit with what I feel instead of burying it.

And today, when I try to push it all aside, I ask myself:

Will I let circumstance and injustice change who I am at my core?

Will I let it dim my light?

Will I let it taint the way I love?

“To thine own self be true.”

It is a phrase I keep tucked in my heart on days like this.

And I can’t help but also hear the words of Jesus whispering in my spirit:

“The truth shall set you free.”

I want freedom from this storm.

I want forgiveness in my heart.

I want truth.

I want reconciliation.

I want clarity.

And I believe that if certain truths were exposed, it would bring freedom.

But sometimes… that exposure doesn’t come when we want it to.

And maybe that is where the deeper work is done.

Maybe the only way through the waiting is not losing ourselves in the process.

Maybe the path forward is staying anchored in who we truly are.

Anchored in truth.

Anchored in love.

Anchored in God.

Because I do believe there is a line we all walk.

A dangerous one I am learning to recognize:

The line between peace and control.

Because it is easy to manipulate situations in the name of peace.

To perform love.

To keep things calm on the surface while suppressing what is real underneath.

But that kind of peace is fragile.

It doesn’t last.

It breaks when life shifts again.

So instead, I am learning this:

Do not build peace on control.
Do not build love on performance.
Do not build healing on suppression.

Stay anchored.

Stay rooted.

Stay true.

Even when nothing around you feels resolved.

Steady.
Present.
Trusting God in the middle.

If you’re in a season that feels unresolved, heavy, or emotionally loud… I want you to know you’re not alone in it.

Have you ever found yourself trying to stay true to who you are while everything around you feels like it’s shifting?

I’d love to hear from you.

When Showing Up Is Enough

Everything feels like an annoyance when you finally start seeing things for what they really are.

I woke up to my alarm blaring—dry mouth, already cranky, and not in the mood to rush. It was the third Saturday in a row I had to get up and immediately meet the demands of plans that needed my attention.

And I could already feel it…
that low hum of anxiety starting to build.

I had less than one hour.

Less than one hour to get myself and my foster daughter fed, dressed, and across town to a classmate’s birthday party.

And my mind? It was off and running.

Will I know any of the moms there?
Are they all going to be younger than me?
Why am I 40 going to a 7-year-old’s birthday party?

I’ve always been the girl who connects with older women, so the thought of being surrounded by younger moms made me feel uncomfortable.

It’s funny how fast our minds can spiral.

There I was, standing in the mirror, plucking chin hairs, laughing to myself about how I used to take for granted the days when I didn’t have to think about any of this before leaving the house.

And then the chaos hit.

As I’m putting on moisturizer, it hits me—
I didn’t give her a bath the night before.

And she definitely needed one.

We had 20 minutes.

I ran upstairs, turned on the shower, and told her to hop in.

“Wash up, hurry, get dressed, brush your teeth!”

As I’m flying back downstairs, I realize…

I didn’t wrap the gift.

Of course I didn’t.

Now we’re down to 10 minutes.

I rush to my room, throwing together tissue paper and grabbing a random card I had laying around—trying to make it look somewhat intentional.

Meanwhile, she comes downstairs looking adorable and completely ready.

I hand her a protein bar just to get something in her stomach, throw on my shoes, kiss my husband goodbye, and we’re out the door.

But even as we’re driving…

I can feel it.

That heavy, critical voice in my head.

What is wrong with you?
You’re not this kind of woman.
You didn’t used to be this last-minute, thrown-together person.

And the truth is…
I’ve always struggled with that inner critic.

I’ve held myself to high standards for as long as I can remember.
Always trying to do everything the “right” way.
The best way.

But lately?

That energy has felt like it’s slowly leaking out of me…
like air slipping out of a balloon.

I’ve been a mom for 21 years.

And I love it.
I love nurturing, caring, showing up.

But recently, something has shifted.

The enthusiasm hasn’t been as loud.
The excitement hasn’t been as natural.

And instead of giving myself space for that…

I’ve been questioning myself.

What’s wrong with you?
Who even are you right now?

So instead of pushing it down, I decided to sit with it.

To really look at what was happening.

And then I saw her.

At the party.

Laughing. Playing. Having the best time.

Completely unaware of the chaos we came from.

She didn’t know she skipped a bath the night before.
She didn’t know I wrapped the gift minutes before leaving.
She didn’t see my stress, my rushing, or my self-doubt.

She didn’t see any of my “shortcomings.”

She just experienced the moment.

Joyfully.
Fully.

And it hit me.

Why do I let my perceived flaws take up so much space in my mind…
when the people I love don’t even see them?

From her perspective, we showed up.

Seamlessly.

On the way home, she looked at me and said,

“You’re the best momma.”

And that stopped me.

Because the truth is…
this was her first time ever going to a classmate’s birthday party.

Before coming into my home, she had never experienced that.

And I almost let my internal chaos overshadow what actually mattered.

I did it.

Even with the rushing.
Even with the bad attitude.
Even with the “just get through it” energy.

I showed up.

And we had a beautiful time.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be perfect to matter.

Maybe we don’t have to go above and beyond every single time.

Maybe sometimes…

showing up is enough.

I know I’ve had a heavy, emotionally demanding month.
I know I struggle with people-pleasing and wanting to be “enough.”

And I also know…

Sometimes I’m going to feel tired.
Sometimes I’m going to feel off.
Sometimes I’m going to show up a little less polished than I’d like.

But I’m still here.

Still loving.
Still trying.
Still showing up.

So I’m learning to let go of the constant:

analyzing
criticizing
judging myself harshly

And instead, I’m choosing to recognize this:

I can handle more than I think.

Even on the messy days.

Because sometimes…

all it really takes is showing up, a little caffeine…

and 30 minutes.

Have you ever had a moment where everything felt chaotic, but it still turned out okay? I’d love to hear your story. 🤍

Leigh Leigh

How To Successfully Transition Into Becoming A Stay At Home Mom

Want to know the secret?

Hey Girl Hey! So you made it here because you are experiencing some mega life changes am I right? And you feel kinda overwhelmed, apprehensive, curious if you made the right choice, or possibly even angry and upset that life circumstances made you change your plan for you. (we can chat about that later) I totally get what you are experiencing and I am here to tell you hang tight friend because I promise you once the beginning of the transition period is over, you will find the peace your desperately searching for. I happen to be a NEWBIE too! I left the work world in June of 2021 and here I am…slaying this Stay at Mom thing.

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on becoming a Stay at Home Mom! You just got a secret invite to one of the greatest experiences/job/opportunities/ministries known to Womanhood! So let’s celebrate that you have been blessed with the privilege and the honor to serve in that capacity.

I am a curious by nature girl so let me save you the time on trying to weed out which blog post was specifically designed for you for transitioning to a stay at home mom. If you are reading this I am about to launch you into FREEDOM of the Chaos of the Unknown and the insecurities and pressures that you might be facing. Are you ready to be free? Great!

So here it is, are you ready? There is only ONE Requirement to qualify you to become the World’s Greatest Stay At Home mom! ONE!

LOVE for Your People!

Love will be the Master Key to unlock success.

Let me explain! There are tons of blog post out there, How To’s to transition, but if I am being honest you were not designed to fit into a cookie cutter “How to Mold”! You have a family that is so beautiful, and so unique that only you can really Captain your Home Ship so to speak effectively. You are the heart beat of the home. You are the care taker, the joy, the giver of hugs and kisses, the peace, the helper, there server, the guide, and the teacher. Your role as Stay at home Mom is vital to the happiness of your home. You are the atmosphere shifter and the prayer intercessor. You got a lot on your plate Momma, so be patient with yourself.

For the sake of the Visual bullet seekers, I will make some bullet point tips, but there is a one rule! You have to keep your plan of action as unique and special as you and your family are. Only You know the real NEEDS of each family member, and your home.

  • Study Your people
  • Set Priorities
  • Become a Creative Home Maker
  • Set a Routine- Planners are our Friends
  • Be patient with yourself and the time of the transitioning
  • Devote time to spend with Jesus
  • Find a Support Community or a circle of Friends You visit with consistently
  • Enjoy this Season! They are only in your care for a short amount of time!

Study your People

I first asked my husband what are some things he expects of the house. Some people are more comfortable in a dust free home. sigh.. we are not immaculate people..we live in our home, but keep It clean! I took a few seconds to ask each one of my children and Husband which room they enjoyed spending the most time in. My children replied their bedrooms, and my husband replied his garage. Perfect, now I know which areas they need a soft landing to unwind and relax when they get home from School and Work. I use this as an opportunity to bless them in these rooms. I have a set day of the week where I go into their rooms, wash their bedding, tidy their room, and my favorite thing to do is Decorate for Holiday’s and Special Occasions! I will explain further more in another blog post!

Set Priorities

Determine which areas need the most attention Daily. Establish a daily run through chore list: make beds, tidy entry way, feed dog, feed cats, scoop the litter box, prep dinner, run the dishwasher, complete a load of Laundry.

Become a Creative Home Maker

Check out Youtube videos on what a creative home maker is. You can get creative and intertwine those creative parts of you into your home life. I love to craft so this is where making banners for my kids to hang in their room with their basketball jersey, etc comes into play.

Set a Routine

This will be special and not a cookie cutter plan because only you know how to best run your house hold cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping, errand running, appt setting, etc..etc..I personally have the daily chores I complete just to make the day run smooth, and then I have set days I perform different cleaning duties. Example: Master bedroom/bedroom -Monday, Toilets-Tuesday, Kitchen-Wednesday, HBH-Thursday…etc, and so on! You also need to make sure you are including devotion time with the Lord, and wellness. Momma needs to take good care of herself so she can take care of her treasures! Don’t forget lunch dates/play dates with friends! Oh, and don’t leave out husband…date night!

Be Patient with Yourself

Take a deep breath…… the only one putting pressure on you, is you. Take your time with establishing what works best for you and your family. You may realize two months in, you need to make some adjustments, and of course life will happen that will bring in the chaos to irritate your mission. Stay the course… you are going to do amazing!

Like I said above, I am new to all of this too, and then to add because I had to be a stay at home mom due to a chronic illness diagnosis equals a hazy/hard transition. I am still technically transitioning, so we can transition together.

Comment below if you enjoyed this post and let me know what your experiencing through the stay at home mom transition. 🙂

xoxo -Ash

Are You Walking In The Wilderness?

Isaiah 43:

18  l“Remember not the former things,

nor consider the things of old.

19  mBehold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

nI will make a way in the wilderness

oand rivers in the desert.

I asked the Lord for a promise I could share on my blog for this upcoming week, and I heard very softly and assertively, ” I will make a way in the wilderness.” When we hear wilderness we think of a (Wild) place. For me I think of a scary dark place no one goes to. It is actually an uninhabited land, a desert place; lonely. Maybe you are experiencing PEOPLE problems, poor health, job changes, damaged or broken relationships, new diagnosis’s, loss of a loved one/friend, divorce, the abrupt ending of a once lively and habituated place now gone and out of sight. Now all you can see is the Desert in front of you, and you are scared. Suffocated by the loneliness of the new. You have never been here before so in your circumstance you can’t even fathom how “Behold, I am doing a new thing” could even be a possibility. But Jesus promises that he will never leave you nor forsake you. Even in the Wilderness when you feel alone: alone in your thoughts, alone with no friends, alone in your insecurities, your fears, your doubts. He is making a way. He is bringing rivers in the desert. He always, always has a rescue mission plan specially designed for you, because……..The enemy Will Always Lose no mater how much he tries to steal! I want to encourage you to change your perspective, look around. What does this wilderness look like? How can you bring life to it? How can you inhabit the land? Turn your focus off of fear and begin to expect. Expect the Lord to work this wilderness out for your good. Expect New to appear. Expect something new that will allow you to find life. It is always easier to minister and relate to each other when we have walked in their shoes, or in this case been in their wilderness. We can testify to how God made a NEW Way, how he sent help, how he flooded the desert land when we were almost completely out of hope, and brought rivers of his living life to quench our desolated soul.

Friend, I am not sure where you are in this story today: If you have just walked into a wilderness, trailing somewhere in the middle, or coming out, but I do want to encourage you that you are not alone. You have never been alone. God has been there all along providing even if you haven’t been able to see his work. Ask him today to show you the New in this Wilderness. Ask him how you can partner with him to start bringing life to this deserted place. Co-labor with him to bring out the New and then watch the beautiful new life that will spring forth. Once there is life…..there is no more wilderness!

One revelation I caught is this-God promised he would make a way (in) the Wilderness. He never said (through it). I would love to hear your thoughts.

Be encouraged and Happy Monday!

Grow in Grace

The darkness will come. Fear will creep in. It’s all apart of living right? But, it doesn’t have to be our permanent outcome, or our new identity. We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we will respond. In every moment God has always offered his grace to enable you to get through, to keep you strong, and to make you a fighter! You must fight! You must grow! Then, you must use your growth to empower, support, encourage others. What are we doing if we are not growing?

What do you stand for Today and Forever?

Standing Firm in your beliefs into todays world.

  “Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Hebrews 10:22-24

I have been very silent these past few weeks as I watch my world changing rapidly before my very own eyes. I have woken up with painful knots in my stomach accompanied with unsettling feelings and paralyzing fear that has knocked the breath out of me. You see I always have an opinion, but I wanted to sit back and let my aggressive anger towards the news settle before I spoke out. I will not keep you wading in my thoughts on gay marriage or the race wars going on in our country, instead I would like to bring you to a standing halt inside your own heart, your own mind, your own opinion with this very question.

What beliefs do you stand firm in?

Have you waivered from what you once knew to be true? (if so) What circumstances or people have influenced your change?

This question has opened my eyes and encouraged me to dive deep into my heart to uncover the hidden truths of my own beliefs.

What do you believe? What would you fight for? Will you sit back blinded by this so called acceptance of evil and hate in our world? Do you truly believe in this new age “equality for all” and “ALL goes attitude!?” This doesn’t seem to be true between all the opinions between us all, because we still fight, argue, and debate until we are blue in the face about every single thing that is outside the lines of our comfort.

I want to spur you in love today to cling to your faith and the truth that you know. What does it mean to you to really live by faith? How does the life you live reflect your love for Christ? Have you lost your way? Have you been tossing around like a ship lost at sea to and fro believing one thing one day and another the next? I urge you to dig deep, pray for more faith, and cling to and stand firm on the Word of God! Now more then ever we will need to believe and not waiver from our trust and hope in Christ.

This equality for all that the World is seeking is nothing less then the seduction of Satan…playing on our own fleshly desires to have the freedom to believe what we want. He is using our own selfishness to be right and our pride to rebel against our very own creator. We want to play God and make our own Laws. It’s his oldest trick in the book he used on Eve way back in the day in the Garden. God doesn’t want you to know as much as he does. Surely he doesn’t care about you….

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12

If equality goes against God’s best for us his children, then it is not the right kind of equality we should strive to obtain.

Matthew 24:10 Jesus is warning us of things to come in the last days. He says, “At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.”

Pray that you will not be deceived. Pray that truth and discernment prevails in your heart and your mind. Pray for your children’s hearts and minds to not turn cold or be deceived as well.

God has no favorites, he holds no human any higher then the other. He loves us all the same and his free grace and mercy if for who so ever will believe and receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior. He wants us to love one another with brotherly love. He wants us to encourage and build up each other, esteem each other, help hold each other accountable. I think if we spent more time focusing on how he treats us and mirror his love for us onto each other, all this hate would cancel out. There would be no time to build divisions amongst each other. No living by comparisons.

We don’t truly love! We tear each other down with our words and our actions as we bury our own pride and insecurities that are living inside of our souls. We gossip, and secretly curse each other. We mock and ridicule one another. We think we are better then each other, and we even actually believe we are more deserving of attention, power, and care over others. Could this possibly all steam from our disbelief in who we are as Children of God? I think the answer to that question is YES!

What do you stand for? What do you believe?

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11

God Bless You and Keep You!

Leigh Leigh

Breaking “Perfect Mom”

I have officially given up on being the “Prefect Mom!”

Now wait before you go judging hear me out! This urge to be the “Perfect Mom” comes with the territory of being a “Step Mom” and a “Foster Mom” as well. To be quit frank it has been exhausting and completely stupid to say the least!

The older I get the more I realize my kids, step kids, and foster kids don’t need me to be the “Perfect Mom.” Perfect as in one who: never never cries or feel depressed, loses her cool, never stumbles, never does something completely stupid, never misses an appointment, or sleeps through an alarm, forgets a pep rally, a lunch, wouldn’t dare open her mouth without thinking, never burns a meal, or has an untidy house. I have tired myself down to nothing trying to maintain the perfect clean house while staying on top of laundry for seven people in my home, attending as many sports games between three of my five children as I possibly could, and juggling a part time job. My smile was plastered on BIG and BRIGHT, but I felt empty and disappointed on the inside.

My children need a real mom. One whose love knows no end, disciplines when she would rather be their friend, one who is always there for them, attentive to their wants, desires, and needs, and shows grace when it is or isn’t merited. They need me more then I need the illusion of being the “Prefect Mom.”

I don’t want my children to live with false expectations of what the world has to offer in other people. I am no one special, just a woman who is trying her best at this whole wife, mother thing! I have days where I feel like an overachiever, and days like a true failure. I am a woman so I can experience both of these highs and lows about 30 times in one day!

I want my kids to see me at my best, and at my worst. When I am in first place and on top of the world am I showing them what humbleness and humility looks like? When I finish in last place and feeling down and out do I complain, or extend blame on everyone else’s short coming but my own? How about my attitude? They are watching you know, every move you make, your actions and reactions.

I want them to know that I don’t expect perfection out of them, just their best! I want them to know that I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mother” for them, but not my true honest attempts to be the best version of myself for them as their Mom. There is no such thing as perfection on this earth in my eyes, so striving for that only exhaust me and disappoints me.

I want my children to grow up being real people! I don’t want them to feel like they have to fake perfection to make other people accept them or love them. I want them to know that there will be days where they will need grace and mercy and days where they will need to extend grace and mercy to others.

We all have a story, a past, made mistakes, experienced life changing events that have impacted us and helped shape us into who we are today. I long for the days I can sit up late talking to them like we are friends, sharing my past days of when I was little with them, all the dumb things I did, and all the fun adventures I lived as well, but Today is not that day.

Today is the day I show them love, and I teach them discipline. Today is the day I  train them up in the way they should live and treat others, how to make right choices, help mold their character, and  teach them to always do the right thing, even if it “feels” wrong. Today is the day I show them how to seek first the kingdom of God,  putting others needs before their own, and teach them how to love and forgive themselves and others around them.

It’s imperative that I share the love of Christ with them, building them up on truth and what God says about them! I think it is important that they realize that while I am their Mother here on this earth, there will be a time when I will be a sister in Christ, glorifying our Lord and Savior with them together some day.

I long for that day! That day when all this responsibility of being a Mom is gone and I am left with just being their loving sister in Christ. I will hope that they learned from me, received love from me, knew that I was just trying to give it my best, and while we were here together I loved them the closest to how God loves us, unconditionally!

When I think of how much I love them, my heart burst to know how much I am loved as a daughter of Christ! My love is far from perfect, but his love is perfect for me and every other Momma out there!

I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mom’, but  will never give up on becoming my best each day for them. They were hand selected just for me! When insecurities creep in my mind, I just remind myself that they are an exact reflection of Gods love, and a reminder that I have everything they need out of a Mom to raise them up to be bold and courageous soldiers for him!

If your an Expecting Mom, a New Mom, a Veteran Mom, a Step Mom, an Adoptive Mom, a Foster Mom, you have everything your child needs to feel loved and to be loved! Don’t seek perfection, seek Jesus, he who is Perfect will work out all the perfection you need from him through you for them, and remember in your weakest mommy moments, he is strong! Lean on him, cry to him, ask him to carry your burden load.

chalk

How has being a Mom changed you? Are you seeking perfection on your adventure of motherhood? Please share and comment below.

Leigh Leigh

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Confession of a tattoo sleeved Mom

tattoo Mom, Peacock sleeve, tattoo

I confess that I was really afraid to become a sleeved Momma!

I would like to think that when you have your first child your identity of yourself transforms into one huge bubble that separates itself into two halves, the identity of yourself and the identity of their Mother.

Deciding on a tattoo sleeve took me a good two years. First I had to come up with a design , and second I had to really be for sure I really wanted to commit to permanent skin art for the rest of my life.

I remember all the areas of judgment I would struggle with every time I seriously thought about the consequences of my decision. My first initial struggle was what will my family think? I grew up in a small town in Texas where any tattoo any where was looked upon in a negative manner. I quickly put aside this fear. After all I was a grown woman! The Harsh judgments of other women, men, friends, people I knew, and strangers. I worried about my witness to others in my walk of faith. I read through my bible and discovered a few scriptures that gave me peace. I know in my heart that God doesn’t judge the outward appearance but the heart of a man/woman. I prayed about my wants and desires several times. I began to believe that if the art itself wasn’t leading someone to the evil dark side, then it would just be beautiful art on my body. Obviously being  mature in my faith and getting a pitchfork and the words “born to raise hell” tattooed on my body would definitely be a stumbling long block to a new believer. It would also go against every fiber of my character as a woman after God’s on heart. ❤

For me the most difficult struggle that seemed to be the hardest to just overcome was my children.
What would they think?
Would I be an embarrassment to them?
Would their friends parents misjudge me and then not allow their kids to hang out with mine?
This was a hard pill to swallow and I really tried to patiently deal and come to grips with all these insecurities I had about becoming a sleeved Mom.  (Now I do have to interject here that my husband has a sleeve on his right arm and has had it since our son was about 3 years old.)

More months went by and more time was spent on making a decision. I finally realized that I really did want this tattoo sleeve for me. I had my reasons and meaning behind the sleeve design, which is of a beautiful peacock. I knew I had to do this now or I would regret it later in life. So I talked it over with my children. I wanted to hear their thoughts and let them know that their opinions did mater to me. The decision was finally made and the first appointment was booked!

For me personally this sleeve represents the beauty of FREEDOM! More importantly for me, the freedom I receive in Christ by his abundant mercy, grace, and love. I am free to be me and you are free to be you. I also like to think of it as being an example to my children to be free and be strong, stand up for what you believe in, and just simply be who you are. Don’t settle, don’t mock, don’t be a copy, BE AN ORIGINAL!

It may not be as drastic as a huge tattoo for you, but whatever piece of you that is just screaming to come out of inside the MOM shell you hold together so well, embrace it and let it shine through the Mom shell. Trust me you are doing yourself, your children, your spouse no favor by holding back who you are in the other half of that identity bubble. You are cheating them out of a wonderful, creative, fun MOM and wife!! We are all way too harsh and critical of ourselves. We hide behind those FEARS of cruel and harsh judgments we think other woman are thinking about us. I bet you that there are a lot of women out there who hold back just because of these fears, which are just false evidence appearing real. Who cares anyways what others think?

What better day, then on Mother’s Day to reflect on your MOM bubble and figure out how to pop the line of separation of being you, and being their mom! BE you, Be BEAUTIFUL!

Peacock sleeve tattoo

*I did explain to my children after each ink session how much it hurts and that they really do not need to consider getting ink until they are almost 30 ;0) if that is something they choose to do!!!

Peacock sleeve

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
xOxO

LeighLeigh