Caught in the Act

Over the last week I caught myself doing something I shouldn’t have been doing not only once, but twice! Yes, that’s right, guilty as charged!!!! Gasp!

I got caught in the act of apologizing for being Me!

I caught myself pausing after being my authentic goof ball self and stating the obvious, “Oh, sorry my quirky is showing!” Have you ever just got lost in the moment, belted out the lyrics in a silly tone, danced a little goofy doing a jig because something made you excited, and then stopped mid way to regain your normal composure apologizing for having fun and being the you that only comes out when your all alone?

Yeah, we should really stop being afraid of who we are, quirks and all! People we hang with or do life with are not even going to care how corny we act if they truly love us. Maybe if we would stop trying to correct what society defends as normal, we could all be a little more free in our own personality.

Today as I was being my silly inner 10 year old self and paused to tell my husband, “sorry,” he automatically and truthfully asked me why, followed by a statement, “I like it!”

I can only speak for me when I say, the only reason I point out the obvious is out of fear. Fear that when I go off grid and act child like excited about something people are going to judge me. In that moment of pausing and apologizing I am seeking the approval of them to proceed to be vulnerable and uncover what’s under this adult made shell.

A life truly lived in freedom should reflect all areas of our personality to be free! Wouldn’t you agree?

I’m at a point in my life where I want to stop apologizing for actually enjoying myself no matter where I am at or what I am doing.

“For he sows seeds of light within his lovers, and seeds of joy burst forth for the lovers of God!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭97:11‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

It’s okay to love yourself enough to be the real you and act goofy! It’s okay to dance silly, or sing off tune, or say off the wall things! Jesus wants us to have a joyful life. Most joyful things will resemble childlike behaviors! If we are called children of God and we believe that, then why are we expected to be so put together and polished? Some of the most beautiful rocks I find have so many shapes, textures, and colors. Polished stones, though different colors, all feel the same.

I think I’m going to try something brave next time. The next time I let myself go and show my true hidden colors, I am not going to apologize or hid behind my “Whoops my crazy is showing,” statements! Maybe my joy will be contagious and just start rubbing off on those around me! Maybe your true joyful self will start rubbing off on others around you as well! 🤪😍🦋

May you grow in God’s grace!

🦋Ash’Leigh Harris

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