Beauty through the eyes of a 29 year old Woman.

I look back  now on the ages of 15,16, 17. I remember longing for the days I would be 20 something, then I told myself, I would feel beautiful. I would look mature and have a womanly figure, large breast, nice curves. You know something like Jessica Simpson. I would be able to dress so glamourous, with my matching accessories and heels because hello I would be an adult with my own money to spend accordingly. My make up would be spot on because I would be old enough to wear what ever I wanted, not what Mom preferred.

It was a real shock to look at my body 25 years old with 2 kids. I didn’t see long beautiful flowing hair, nice firm round bottom with large perky breast, quite the opposite! What Mother has time for glamour and fancy make up when she is chasing after 5 plus kids!! My breast some how became smaller then my former teenage years thanks to nursing my two beautiful babies! My waist was fine, but beautiful would never come to mind when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, more like exhausted, let go, worn out, with comfortable clothes on for fashion!

I decided to embrace my body for what it was worth. I guess that is why I started working out. I would be lying to you if I said it was just to feel strong and be healthy. There was some vanity pushing my driving force to get fit! I had the power to change my new mommy body or I could continue to let Motherhood have it’s toll on me and my appearance.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally feel so much better when I am eating clean foods and running. I actually got a taste of what I feel like when I food binge over Thanksgiving and I felt physically sick! My stomach gave me problems for days, and I felt sluggish and just GROSS! So I can now say yes I continue to work out and eat clean because it makes me feel pretty and it makes my body and mind feel GOOD!

4 and 1/2 years later, I am still in a battle with myself when I look into that mirror. I am much more satisfied with my toner body. I do wish this adult acne would go away and never return. My make up well it is still not perfect. Some days I don’t wear any. My hair is far from long and wavy and beautiful. I tend to enhance my flaws with out appreciating what I do have gazing at my reflection!

Beauty! It’s long thick beautiful wavy hair, large breasts, tiny waists, clear skin, white perfect teeth, toned stomach, arms, legs, bum.Well that is what all these magazines and TV shows throw in my face anyways.

Now my almost 30 year old self has and is experiencing, battle scars from over stretched skin due to carrying two 8 pound babies, fine wrinkles, hair growth in unexpected places, gray hair!! I don’t remember Cindy Crawford and all the other beautiful women having these issues going on with their Magazine covers!

But then you spoke just 5 words. These 5 words would shake my skewed perception of beauty. Confuse me actually!

“You are a Beautiful Woman!”

Something I had longed to be since the ripe age of 15, a ” Beautiful Woman.”

Yes you tell me I am beautiful all the time when I am all dressed up and ready to go have fun on a date night. That’s because I put in all the hard work, time, and effort to deserve such a compliment! But this time when you told me I am beautiful woman, it was spontaneous, and unwarranted. I didn’t have one smudge of make up on, no cute outfit, just my lounge clothes, and I am pretty positive I didn’t even  run a brush through my hair all day.

Maybe I couldn’t believe it for myself because I have been so brainwashed (LIED TO) since an early age as to what standards of beauty are. Maybe before you I was never told that sincerely. Maybe I thought it was a lie told to gain something from me by others?

I know your words are real because I know it is true to you and you believe it. You are the only person I trust completely. You are speaking truth into my soul that only you could say for me to believe.

You made me see beauty through your eyes, not my own. You make me feel beautiful not only with your words, but your looks, your warm embrace, your kisses, your devotion to me and our family, and continuing to love me more and more each day.

I am not sure I will ever fully see what you see when you look at me, but that’s okay because each time you tell me those five words, I start to believe it more and more for myself.

Women need this truth! WE need to hear that we are beautiful bare and in our natural state. We need to believe that beauty isn’t based on the outward appearances alone but what is on the inside. We need you to remind us of these truths as the world throws the next best air brushed hottie in our face!

We trust you, our loving Husband. We believe you. Your words are enough for us, you know!

Thank you my love for seeing what I don’t see and helping change my perspective on beauty!

I wish I could go back and tell the 15, 16, 17 year old me that the beauty I was chasing after would never fulfill me the way the love of my Husband will.

❤

Leigh Leigh

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