Jesus’s Luxurious Love

The older I get the more I understand and can appreciate the word Luxurious.

When we are younger we don’t pay much attention to the details. Whatever makes us happy or feels good, out of ignorance and youth we indulge, and we are just fine. As we age we gladly exchange comfort for the extra cash. Honestly 20 year old me would have been ecstatic to book a hotel that had a swimming pool. Mid 30’s me is all about that Jucuzzi bath tub and KING SIZE bed. Oh, and you better believe I am reading the reviews to see if this place is COMFORTABLE.

Luxurious to us is heated and cooled seats, extra fur in those house slippers, a silk robe, a big comfy couch we can melt into, or maybe even upgrading to the next package weather it be a spa day, bedroom suit, car, etc. In a nut shell when I hear luxurious I know it is the top of the line, maxed out, all bells and whistles, and I will benefit the comfort and enjoyment it brings to me.

I was reading Psalms 23 today out of the Passion Translation and what really caught my eye was the word luxurious attached to the Lord’s love. The scripture actually reads:

2 He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quit brook of bliss. 3 That’s where he restores and revives my life.

I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment. I imagined being in a true place of rest. A true surrender to my savior who offers me and welcomes me in to his luxurious love. I imagined the whole room was softly light, the smells were only the finest aromas of luscious flowers, the room had a huge couch that was covered in red silk. Honestly my mind can’t really perceive just how amazing this place was. Classy, fine, sophisticated, and a safe place created just for me. A room with all the upgrades; the bells, the whistle, and Jesus himself giving me his full attention as I just rested beside him.

That is our Jesus. He is so loving, so kind, and so luxurious. I imagine he has BIG swagger, and all the mansions he is building for us up in heaven makes the worlds most expensive luxurious mansion look like a Polly pocket home in comparison. I imagine there are technologies, fabrics, and “comforts” we have never seen, heard, or felt.

His love is so rich the closest word we can get to in our human dictionary is luxurious. His love is so soft, so enjoyable, so comfortable, so peaceful, so valuable, so powerful.

So, the next time your sister or your friend says you need to go rest, remember what opportunity is being presented to yourself. Really rest in his goodness. Rest in his love for you!

He is waiting to restore your soul in his luxurious love!

What are you waiting for?

Habits for 2019 and beyond

10:44am Friday, January 4th

(Note to self -this is for me)

God is so awesome that he made my jaw drop when I read the first line of my devotion for today!

Let me back up. Every new year I obsess over becoming better then I was the year before. Weather it be more healthier, more intuned with the Holy Spirit, better wife, better mom, better daughter, the list goes on. So it was only natural for me to start figuring out what I would work on for 2019 and habits seemed to surface my mind. Apparently we as humans are habitual creatures who do most of life on habits we have unknowingly created weather good or bad. I was asking my husband if he had finished his habits book at work because I remember him sharing some of the things he was learning from it a few months ago.

Last night I was asking him more questions about it and he was quite taking by my new founded curiosity for this book. I could tell by the face he made as in like I was asking things way too late for his mind to process right before he shuts his mind down so he can sleep and get up early to go to work. However, I’m a chatter box and just carried on with extracting all my thoughts I had been thinking yesterday. “Did you know God is like way bigger then I think I can even comprehend!” I blurted as he snuggled tightly under his weighted blanket and 15 pillows. (He is a tall big muscular man, I get the 1500 pillows, I do! )

I hurried along to join him and I drifted off to sleep.

Each morning I wake up and I read my devotionals, so this morning was no different then before.

Now back to the jaw dropping….

A giggle and a smile swept over my face as I pressed in with my ears wide opened for what he was about to speak directly to me through the fine print. “Okay Lord, I’m listening!”

So 2019 what will it look like for me? Well let’s just say I will adopt God’s habit first, I trust you Jesus, then I will sprinkle on top of that some loving others and finding ways to bless them daily, combined with changing my eating habits to more Whole Foods/ less processed junk!

Lord Jesus thank you for your ways of teaching me what is important for my present time here on earth, help me to develop good habits this year Lord that will bless my mind, body, and soul, and bless others. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

-❤️ Me

20 Things I would go back and tell 20 year old Me

I turn 30 in 4 days! EEEEEK!!

I have been really not looking forward to this milestone in my adult life, well since the day I turned 29! Why is 30 such a pinnacle moment to us women? Maybe because 30 sounds so sophisticated!

I think of a woman who has it all together and is classy and well respected. I don’t think of the word youthful at all. I still feel youthful! I don’t want to not be youthful just yet! Youthful to me still gives the illusion of an automatic understanding of being young and dumb when you make a mistake here or there. I don’t want to be taken super serious just yet!!

For fun, I compiled a list of things I would go back and tell my younger 20 year old self if I could! What would you add to the list? Comment below!

turning 30

1. Soul Search! Fresh out from under your parents wings, your faith in God may have steemed from them. I was 25 before I fully decided for myself what my beliefs were, and my faith blossomed ten fold from there. If I could go back, I wouldn’t have procrastinated for as long as I did to take my relationship with Christ serious.

2. Girl you are filled with youth, imagination, adventure, curiosity, and beauty! You can’t grasp all of this right now because you are too busy feeling insecure and worried you are going to screw your life up some how! You wont! Do something that scares you, take a leap of faith!

 4. Learn to let go of any offense and start forgiving people who have hurt you in your life. Move on! We don’t ever know what lies ahead tomorrow, life is too short to not love one another and forgive one another TODAY.

5. Forgive yourself for any wrongs you did to others along the way. Learn from your mistakes now, and don’t repeat them.

6. Don’t stop believing in true love! You are about to marry the man of your dreams, and he will love you fiercely and teach you how to truly trust and love some one. You will compliment each other, and encourage each other to be the best you can be. You will finally have your BEST FRIEND FOREVER!

7. You think you know what selfless love means, you have no clue! You will soon become a mom and it will change you forever for the better. You will become a person you so desperately want your children to look up to, learn from, and be proud of! You will also experience unconditional love for another human being! There are no words to describe it!

8. Stepping into a role of Stepmom at the rip age of 20 will be the most challenging thing you will ever experience. Don’t fret dear girl, each year, you start to overcome your own obstacles and it will get better! I promise! Hang in there because you are going to mature and learn and grow so much from this experience.

9. Enjoy your babies being babies! My 30s will now include preteen and teen years, and even young adult years with dear step kids! (WOW)

10. Don’t stop moving! Thankfully at almost 30 I haven’t suffered from a knee problem, but as we grow older, those sneaky pains are going to sneak up on us and bite us in the booty. Stay active! This helps your body feel young! I have been in the gym for the past 5 years, and I do feel better physically then I did in my mid 20s.

11. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy. Dress youthful! There will come a day when you will have to start covering up areas on purpose, because well, lets face it, aging or said gravity does and will effect us all in different areas of our bodies! 😉

12. Take advantage of grandparents, and family to watch your kids! Enjoy every moment you get extra spending with your husband away from the little’s! (I didn’t do this enough at first!) Go an adventures with your husband while you are young!

13. Take care of your skin, moisturize daily!

14. Don’t fret over not being able to cook as good as your mother in law. You will learn to develop your own chief talent with your own tasty dishes over time! These delicious dishes will scare your future daughter in law into believing she will never make your son as satisfied at the dinner table as you. 😉

15. Find a few good friends that will stick with you! Trust them, confide in them, and be a proactive friend back. These relationships don’t just happen. You learn every relationship in your life will require some time and effort on your part.

16. Stop worrying, it solves nothing.

17. STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER!

18. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to measure up to societies opinion of what defines a successful woman.

19. NEVER STOP just LIVING in the PRESENT!

20. Enjoy not having to own a push up bra, a good pair of tweezers, toning gel, and a real face washing regimen every single night that includes anti aging creams for pimples and wrinkles! (Although you may want to get a jump-start on the whole face washing regimen thing!)

Life is too short to be unhappy and living in a state of mind that isn’t healthy for you. I accomplished a lot in my 20s. If my life has to be cut short, I can honestly say in this moment I am completely satisfied! I have an amazing Husband of 9 years, 4 beautiful and healthy children, great friends, and a wonderful family.

I am going to coast into my 30s with wisdom learned from my 20s. I actually do feel more mature, and more at ease with the future. Wait a minuet! I even do feel a little sophisticated and classy!

Maybe 30 isn’t sounding so TERRIBLE after all!

30 and fabulous

XOXO

LEIGH LEIGH

 

 

 

 

What Mothers Secretly want for Mother’s Day!

Leigh Leigh asked and Mom’s responded! It is almost that time of year where we get to spoil and lavish our Mothers with gifts of love and appreciation for being the WORLD’s GREATEST! So what does she really secretly wish you got her for Mother’s Day?

mothersday

She wants to hear how much you love and appreciate her!

lovemom2

She wishes that you would complete her Chore list, or at least give her the day off!

chorelist

She wants to be pampered! Whether it be a gift certificate or card to her favorite Day Spa, or a home-made gift basket full of foot scrubs, facial scrubs, her favorite shower gel, body lotion, and or body spray.

pampermom1

She loves the boogies and snot out of her little darlings, but most Mothers are so tired, especially if they are Mother’s of Preschool aged children. She would love some TIME ALONE! To do what? WHAT EVER SHE WANTS! She could go shopping, take a relaxing bubble bath, read a book, take a friend to lunch, book a hot date with her husband, the sky is the limit!

TIME ALONE

If you no longer live at home, she wants to see you!

imissu

So here you have it, the TOP SECRET Mother’s Day Gift LIST!

What’s on my wish list?

Lot’s of hugs and kisses and a delicious meal I don’t have to prepare with my whole crew!

XOXO

Leigh Leigh

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We are guilty of trying to become someone we are not

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

 I have been so thrilled and eager to sit down to write this blog post.  The joy and the excitement has been jumping around in my heart like a million Mexican Jumping Beans!

Here recently I keep getting this magnificiant push, this hard drive to write about how SPECIAL YOU ARE!

I love to work out, I love to encourage other women on their weight loss journeys, however I don’t frown upon those who are just not interested in the same things I enjoy. Maybe you love the fashion world, you eat, breath, and sleep the latest fashions. Maybe you are into Make up and Hair, body building, dancing, cycling, swimming, reading, writing, hiking, sewing, crafting, budget shopping? The list goes on as to what really captivates us!

Maybe you truly are happy with who you are inside and out, or maybe you are in a season of your life where you are struggling to find out who you are. You question things, you question your own heart, motives, drives, etc..

I know I went through a season in my early 20s after I had my two children. I had completely lost my identity some where in between all the mom titles I was carrying. I lost my confidence in who I was and I was just clueless on who God had called me to be. That place is a dark and scary place to be. If you my friend are in this season I want you to know that there is a brilliant bright light at the end of the tunnel for you! Embrace the unknown to educate yourself on who God has called you to be and then dig down deep inside to rediscover who you are, who you want to be, and then my friend grow your faith and let yourself be you!

Don’t ever get carried away with trying to “fit in” that you forget that you were made to “Stand Out!”

It is so easy these days with all the Woman/Mom/Wife comparisons in the World. We are judged from our choice of clothes to the brand of water we choose to drink. It’s absolutely ridicules and actually brilliantly calculated by the Devil to cause divisions amongst us women to separate us from each other on stupid things that are not eternal or relevant to who we are on the inside.

I am pretty sure God doesn’t care if you want to use a cloth diaper on your baby or a disposable one. However, I know he cares about your heart and your intentions. If this choice brings God glory by recycling and keeping the earth clean, and this is why you chose to do it because in your heart you are convicted too and not because you don’t want others to judge you, or your afraid of their opinions, their acceptance to fit into their particular group, I say cloth on my dear!

Confession alert!! I will just tattle on myself now so you know I am not pointing fingers or picking on cloth diaper moms! The cloth diaper is just an easy example that popped into my mind first. I used to be a preschool teacher and I would look and check out what type of lunches other moms were packing for their child. I had come to the conclusion that I didn’t measure up to other moms because my child’s lunch didn’t look like their child’s. I would go out of my way to make sure that my kids lunch reflected their child’s lunch. Was it because I wanted my child to be “super healthy” like theirs? No, it was because somewhere deep inside I had a mom insecurity and I had made other moms my standard to compare myself to be like.

(Read why I gave up trying to be the PERFECT MOM here.)

We do this all the time with EVERYTHING…don’t we? Okay maybe you have never done this, I am probably just throwing my own self under the bus right now by sharing some of the dumb embarrassing things I have done in my life! 😉

It is just Satan getting into our heads tying to make us insecure on who we are as WOMEN, as Mother’s, as Wifes, as Friends, and especially Daughters of Christ!

Insecure so that we do stupid things, like try to become someone we are not to feel accepted.

The good news is WE ARE ALREADY ACCEPTED! Even in our Sin we have a God who loves us and is waiting for us to acknowledge him and to believe in him. He loved us before we loved him. He created us unique for His Glory and His own Purpose. Ephesian’s 2:10 says that we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  GOOD WORKS, ETERNAL Works, that we should walk in them. I am not reading the part where we should compare and then become someone we are not, or that we should walk in someone else’s footsteps that He created for them. Oh, because it is not there!!

These silly standards that we measure ourselves up to turn into nothing eternal but only temporary. Your child is going to grow up into an adult, God willing! When he is an adult, no one will care what kind of diaper you put on his bum. Your body, your face, your hair, it will all age. We are all left with the same destiny and that is getting old and passing on.

I don’t want to waste one more second trying to become someone I am not created to be. What a waste that would be for my life God created just for me to live out!

Look at your finger prints. If God, the creator, went out of his way to give each one of us our very own set of finger prints, doesn’t this mean some thing to you about your value, your worth, your acceptance, your importance to HIM?

We are all special and unique, but as Sisters in Christ we are all connected.

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8

Notice how there is no pressure to be the same on the outside, or the way we prepare lunches/dinners for our children, or to become a stereo type soccer mom, or an organics only mom, or the 6 pack abs mom, or the Trophy Wife, and become everybody’s BEST friend!

photo (5)

I  posted this photo on my Facebook page. (Check out my Facebook page HERE!) It convicted me as to where my perspective has been lately. Let us live to be women who leave eternal gifts to our children, our husbands, our friends, and everyone else we meet along the way.

Love last forever! Acts of kindness remain within the recipient’s heart!

If you are currently chasing after something that you know in your heart just isn’t you, but because of fear of rejection you are allowing yourself to be involved or apart of it, I urge you to stop it today! Be brave enough to just be you. Be brave enough to love and accept yourself just the way you are. Also be brave enough to change the parts of you that you know you need to change for the better. You are worth becoming the best that God created you for!

Where is your heart today? Are you guilty of trying to be someone you are not? Do you know who you are?

Struggling with Identity? Check out my Confessions of a Tattoo Sleeved Mom HERE!

tattoomom

XOXO

Leigh Leigh

Please follow my blog! I am on Twitter and Facebook as well!

 

 

Jump back on

Monday equals fresh start to the week! If you jumped off the band wagon over the weekend why not start back today?

I have learned that when I stop doing what I am suppose to be doing to keep my body in check doubt creeps in my mind! When I am busy keeping up with my running and my work outs, there is no room for doubt!

The more you do something, the easier it gets. The less you do something, the harder it gets!

2015/01/img_5792.jpg

Let’s do this!
Leigh Leigh

Saying Goodbye to being a Mother of a Preschooler

I feel like I am mixed up in TRANSITION of no longer being a Mother of preschool aged children!

For the past 10 years I have had at least one child who was preschool age at home. My story of a Mother of 4 is a little complicated. I have actually been even if only momentarily a Mother of over 18 children. I know what your thinking so let me answer your question! No, I am not related to the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe!

I have been a Mother of a preschooler for 10 years!!!

The journey started when I was 19. I married a man who had  primary custody of his two small children 2 and 5. We married when I was 20 which officially made me step mom to his 3 and 6 year old children. At the age of 21 I had my first child who is now 8. We began our foster parent journey while he was 2. We have fostered over 18 children from 2008- until just last month!

The small 2 year old and 5 year old I fell in love with 10 years ago are now 13 (middle school) and 16 (high school )! My baby is 5 (pre-k) and my oldest is 8 (elementary).

Having a preschooler in the house has been a HUGE part of my mom identity for so long I am now having some issues getting use to being a part of the “older kids Mom Club!” (If there is such a thing, because I can’t seem to find one!) I mean I have a 16 year old Step Son for crying out loud! Ha ..not to mention I am only 29!

It seems that there is a high demand for encouragement and advice for Moms of preschoolers! I would know! I served as a leader of the MOPS STEERING team for 2 years and loved every minuet of it. I attended the MOMCONs which we AMAMAZING I like to add!

Where is my child is not a preschooler but not a teenager either Club, or the Club for the Mom who has two sets of aged children: Not preschool/not teenager and Mom of TEENS!? I need help and support when I get asked where babies come from, why there are evil people in the world, why cake is not considered a dinner food, why some people have two mommies and two daddies and I only have one!? The list goes on!

Motherhood is a  journey in itself. As we are raising our children up to be suitable adults, we are growing more mature all the while, and all the wiser! A mother of a preschooler seems to be trapped into that identity and mindset even if she does have much older children she is raising as well! Let’s not mention how Step motherhood is like a whole nother adventure of motherhood!!! Foster Motherhood is bitter, sweet.

To think that this coming fall I will not have any small children at home feels so strange and foreign to me. I work at a Mothers Day Out Preschool three days a week so even while I am at work, my child has been there with me. Next year she will be going to public school, and I will officially be separated from all my children during the school day! 😦

I am basically just rambling, but I am curious if this is just a normal thought/emotional process for a mom who is no longer a mom to a child under 4?

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

Never again! Bad dreams and co-sleeping with your child! #momstruggle

My babies are older now. It’s been a good four year since we have had a little bitty baby in the house. Some days I miss that. Mine are 5 and 8 now.

Some nights I lay awake day dreaming about how I wish they were still little enough to snuggle with at night. Little warm and lavender smelling heaters to keep you warm and cozy all night. I would long for a night they would ask to sleep with us because they were afraid of a shadow on the wall of some sort.

It just doesn’t really happen here.

In those day dreams this is exactly what I had envisioned……

*image found at www.all-creatures.org
*image found at http://www.all-creatures.org

See isn’t this so sweet!!? Momma Cat is snuggling baby cat keeping her little safe and sound. Awe… No more bad dreams baby, Mommy is here!

Can I just interrupt this mushy moment with a little dose of reality!?

Well it finally happened last night! Our 5 year old daughter came bolting in our room tears and all with that sweet little innocent voice: “Daddy I want you!”

“Okay get in the middle of us!”

That warm sweet lavender scented soft baby has vanished leaving me with a sleepy, whiney, very boney, sweaty ball of a mess child! She didn’t smell so sweet, or lovely for that matter! More like Chicken Nuggets and Cheetos, laced with smelly feet!

I can’t recall much but if I could paint you a picture I am pretty sure my night looked a lot like these pictures to follow..

*image found at www.cuteaholic.com
*image found at http://www.cuteaholic.com

We started the night out in my favorite sleeping position. Momma on her back! Now imagine a life size 5 year old on my tummy, and I am not quiet that wide! 🙂

That position left me winded and uncomfortable so I rolled over onto my side. This is where her sweaty hair was suffocating me!

*image found on www.galleryhip.com
*image found on http://www.galleryhip.com

I manage to push her off my face and try this half side, half stomach position.

*imagine found at www.3b.bp.blogspot.com
*imagine found at http://www.3b.bp.blogspot.com

I suspect we got away with this co-sleeping position for a good portion of the night. Well, until my shoulder started to hurt and my side began to ache!

I decided it was time to give the whole tummy position a run for it’s money! After all it’s probably close to 2 in the morning and I am beginning to feel severely UNCOMFORTABLE!

*image found at www.commons.wikimedia.org
*image found at http://www.commons.wikimedia.org

Oh brother.. I am going Apes, Bananas!!

Why can’t she roll over and sleep next to her DADDY!? It was HE WHO LET THE LITTLE DARLING INTO OUR BED! Why ME, Why ME!? Why am I the only one being pressed down on, kicked, slapped, elbowed, kneed, sweated, and slobbered on!!!!??

She is Child by day, Ninja Warrior by night!

image found on yahooimages
image found on http://www.fanpop.com

HELP! I can’t even breath at this point!

*imagine found at 3.bp.blogspot.com
*imagine found at 3.bp.blogspot.com

And She has the nerve to wake up looking like this!

“Good Morning Momma!”

www.thewowimages.com
http://www.thewowimages.com

I am all like, “Good morning Kenna!”

image found at www.doberdan.com
image found at http://www.doberdan.com

My body feels like I just fought off a bull in my sleep all night!

Dodge this leg, dodge that elbow
Dodge this leg, dodge that elbow

Spanish bull fighter Jose Tomas
Spanish bull fighter Jose Tomas

NEVER AGAIN! NEVER!!!!! My back hurts, my arms hurt, my neck is stiff, I am sore all over!

So thank you DADDY and thank you POPPA for letting her watch that Scary Movie. I think if she comes back again, I am moving to the couch!

🙂 The countless joys of Motherhood!

Here is an actually picture of proof just how crazy our night was last night!!!

goodmorning

Smile,

Leigh Leigh

Be sure to check out MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY HERE FOR MORE LAUGHS!

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New Years Resolutions

 

Isaiah 43:18-19

18 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

I have always been one who takes New Years Resolutions pretty serious. I enjoy the ideal of new beginnings and tend to use January 1rst as a reason to change some bad habits picked up during the previous year.

I have not made my “official” New Years 2015 resolution list yet, but I have been reflecting back on my list I made this time last year. I plan on making my resolution list in this post, so keep reading to find out what makes the list!

2014 was a year of excitement, change, new beginnings, and accomplishments.

We fostered 4 children in our home.

The new gym opened up.

My dear step daughter made Cheerleader and now is an official teenager!

Went on a beach vacation to a new location never previously visited.

My son played his first year of Popwarner football and scored his first touch down!

I started a new position that was created over the summer at the preschool, Specials Coordinator.

My husband took on a new job position at his work place.

My daughter started preschool and turned the big 5.

My step son turned 16 and is now a proud owner of a drivers permit.

I met some pretty new amazing friends over the summer.

We started attending a new church which plans on planting in February 2015.

I started running for the fun of it. (Over 120 miles to be exact off and on over the year.) I really didn’t get serious about it until August.

We got some new pets.

I got to see and visit most of my family a lot more then previous years. 🙂

Looking back now I see so many blessings God showered over us in 2014.  2014 was a GOOD year!

Often times I felt like a crazy woman trying to keep up with it all, but in the end it all worked out the way it was suppose to. So did I keep my resolutions? Actually yes for the most part I did. I am seriously thinking about keeping my 2014 list and maybe expanding on it this year.

So instead of rolling out my journal this morning and writing them all down, I decided to blog about them instead. Here comes my *top secret 2014 Resolution List only printed in my journal! 🙂

Be in God's word more. Seek Him first always.
Learn others needs and help them. Show them agape love and do it by choice and on purpose.
Remind my Husband every day how special he is to me and how much I love him and need him in my life.
Strive to be a better Mom always meeting the individual needs of each one of my children.
Become a better runner, make healthy eating choices, drink more water, and hit the weights.
Call my family members more.
Believe in myself and know my worth and value in Christ.
Be thankful More and complain Less.
Mind my own business.

I would like to add for 2015…

Ease up on social media with the exception of promoting my blog of course! ;)
Don't Sweat the small stuff.
Don't worry about things that are not in my control!

So there you have it! My raw resolutions list for 2015.

Do you make a resolutions list? Do you keep it or do you end up tossing it out the window a month into the new year? I would love to hear some things you have on your list for 2015! Please comment below!

I pray that your New Year is the best one yet! I also pray that you have the endurance and the faith to keep any resolutions you make for yourself!

mary@kissesfromheaven is the copywrite of the featured image
mary@kissesfromheaven is the copywrite of the featured image

Blessings!

Leigh Leigh

Follow me on Facebook HERE and Twitter HERE! 🙂

He thinks I’m Beautiful

Beauty through the eyes of a 29 year old Woman.

I look back  now on the ages of 15,16, 17. I remember longing for the days I would be 20 something, then I told myself, I would feel beautiful. I would look mature and have a womanly figure, large breast, nice curves. You know something like Jessica Simpson. I would be able to dress so glamourous, with my matching accessories and heels because hello I would be an adult with my own money to spend accordingly. My make up would be spot on because I would be old enough to wear what ever I wanted, not what Mom preferred.

It was a real shock to look at my body 25 years old with 2 kids. I didn’t see long beautiful flowing hair, nice firm round bottom with large perky breast, quite the opposite! What Mother has time for glamour and fancy make up when she is chasing after 5 plus kids!! My breast some how became smaller then my former teenage years thanks to nursing my two beautiful babies! My waist was fine, but beautiful would never come to mind when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, more like exhausted, let go, worn out, with comfortable clothes on for fashion!

I decided to embrace my body for what it was worth. I guess that is why I started working out. I would be lying to you if I said it was just to feel strong and be healthy. There was some vanity pushing my driving force to get fit! I had the power to change my new mommy body or I could continue to let Motherhood have it’s toll on me and my appearance.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally feel so much better when I am eating clean foods and running. I actually got a taste of what I feel like when I food binge over Thanksgiving and I felt physically sick! My stomach gave me problems for days, and I felt sluggish and just GROSS! So I can now say yes I continue to work out and eat clean because it makes me feel pretty and it makes my body and mind feel GOOD!

4 and 1/2 years later, I am still in a battle with myself when I look into that mirror. I am much more satisfied with my toner body. I do wish this adult acne would go away and never return. My make up well it is still not perfect. Some days I don’t wear any. My hair is far from long and wavy and beautiful. I tend to enhance my flaws with out appreciating what I do have gazing at my reflection!

Beauty! It’s long thick beautiful wavy hair, large breasts, tiny waists, clear skin, white perfect teeth, toned stomach, arms, legs, bum.Well that is what all these magazines and TV shows throw in my face anyways.

Now my almost 30 year old self has and is experiencing, battle scars from over stretched skin due to carrying two 8 pound babies, fine wrinkles, hair growth in unexpected places, gray hair!! I don’t remember Cindy Crawford and all the other beautiful women having these issues going on with their Magazine covers!

But then you spoke just 5 words. These 5 words would shake my skewed perception of beauty. Confuse me actually!

“You are a Beautiful Woman!”

Something I had longed to be since the ripe age of 15, a ” Beautiful Woman.”

Yes you tell me I am beautiful all the time when I am all dressed up and ready to go have fun on a date night. That’s because I put in all the hard work, time, and effort to deserve such a compliment! But this time when you told me I am beautiful woman, it was spontaneous, and unwarranted. I didn’t have one smudge of make up on, no cute outfit, just my lounge clothes, and I am pretty positive I didn’t even  run a brush through my hair all day.

Maybe I couldn’t believe it for myself because I have been so brainwashed (LIED TO) since an early age as to what standards of beauty are. Maybe before you I was never told that sincerely. Maybe I thought it was a lie told to gain something from me by others?

I know your words are real because I know it is true to you and you believe it. You are the only person I trust completely. You are speaking truth into my soul that only you could say for me to believe.

You made me see beauty through your eyes, not my own. You make me feel beautiful not only with your words, but your looks, your warm embrace, your kisses, your devotion to me and our family, and continuing to love me more and more each day.

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I am not sure I will ever fully see what you see when you look at me, but that’s okay because each time you tell me those five words, I start to believe it more and more for myself.

Women need this truth! WE need to hear that we are beautiful bare and in our natural state. We need to believe that beauty isn’t based on the outward appearances alone but what is on the inside. We need you to remind us of these truths as the world throws the next best air brushed hottie in our face!

We trust you, our loving Husband. We believe you. Your words are enough for us, you know!

Thank you my love for seeing what I don’t see and helping change my perspective on beauty!

I wish I could go back and tell the 15, 16, 17 year old me that the beauty I was chasing after would never fulfill me the way the love of my Husband will.

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Leigh Leigh

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