Tag: marriage

Talking back to your husband is a NO NO!

That’s Right….but hear me out why!

This is how I personally view our family dynamics in our Jesus loving home, my dear husband is the commander in charge, leaving me secondary commander in charge. We have four children as follows big brother who is 16, big sister who is 13, little brother who is 8, and little sister who is 5. If you have a five your old or younger child in your family then you really know who “runs” the household! 😉 Just kidding!

I respect my husband’s authority as the leader in our home, and everyone is very clear on who has the ultimate say. It’s comical to me, when the little children want something they always ask their Daddy, but when the big kids want something they usually ask me in hopes to charm their Dad into letting them get what they want. When they want something really bad, they charm me. Kids learn how to be master manipulators I think straight out of the womb! I always tell them we will see, but first I have to ask your father. Often times I just make them ask him. I can see their excitement turn quickly into fear when they realize I will not budge with out my husbands say so.

I love that I can trust my husband to have the final say in our home. It takes a lot of pressure off of myself to be honest. It also makes me feel loved, safe, and secure under his authority as my husband in my life. My husband is very thoughtful to listen to my views, respects my opinions, and suggestions as we co-parent our children together. Ultimately though, I understand he does have the final say, even if I don’t always full heartily agree with him. He is never harsh, hard, pressing, criticizing, rude, oppressive, inconsiderate, abusive, or control starved. He does give me the freedom to make my own choices, but is honest when I ask him for his opinion on any topic. To be a God-fearing leader of your family, you must love God and love your wife.

If you are a woman who wears the pants in your house hold, this post was not intended to offend you in any way or bring judgment against how you run your home. We are all given the same free will to choose what works best for us.

I was at the gym today on the treadmill, cardio day, for one full hour. Who ever says that running frees your mind, has never entered mine! If I am going to be running on a treadmill for an hour, I have got to be thinking of anything that will make me feel like that hour just flew by! Cardio is just straight up BRUTAL!

My thoughts are like a ping-pong balls bouncing to and fro all over the place up there. I think about things I am thankful for, things that I need room to improve on, conversations I have had, or conversations I listened to over the past week.

For example, I was thinking about how I was cleaning my room on Monday and over heard in the back ground a speaker on the Joyce Meyer Tv show explain how parents are the shepherds of their children. That phrase blasted my ear drums like the sound of a new-born baby crying three rooms down. It stood out very clear and left an impression on my heart.

We as mothers have such a great responsibility shepherding our little baby sheep, with endless opportunities to reflect Christ’s love and obedience in all areas of life.

I did try to drowned my thoughts out with some Skrillex music as I ran my little heart out.

I ended my cardio with a cool down walk and turned on my Joyce Meyer Podcast. If you can’t tell I really love that woman! She was cracking me up today because she was sharing how it has taken her over ten yearsbut she finally is getting over not talking back to her husband. She made it seem all giggles but conviction struck my heart, and wouldn’t let me forget how I had acted the night before.

I have been brainstorming for some fun posts to blog about in the future that are on the topic of marriage, so I have been doing my bible studying on the topic. Ironically enough I read over 1 Peter 3 for like the 20th time in my marriage a few days ago. It’s funny how God will leave a trail of bread crumbs for you to follow when he is teaching you something.

We as Jesus loving wives are called to be submissive to our husbands.

When I heard her talk about not talking back to your husband the inner diva inside of me blurted out, “What!! Why!? He is not my father, he is my Husband! This makes me feel like a little child, and I am not a CHILD!” That of course was the flesh me, but as I took into consideration the benefits of being submissive they out weighed my prideful heart. So please don’t throw something at the screen when I tell you, we should not talk back to our husbands! Before you get all GIRL POWER on me, read for yourself!

1 peter 3, wives, godlyActing like a spoiled little brat has always rubbed my heart the wrong way. Sure if feels good to throw a fit the size of Texas, but I feel like If I don’t want my kids acting like spoiled little brats, then I shouldn’t either.

I was quickly reminded of my actions and what resembled how my five-year old would act over not getting her way. I threw a fit in our car last night in front of our 3 children. We were heading to the Middle School to watch big daughter perform her dance at The Night of the Arts. There were absolutely no parking spots available and we were running late. After circling the parking lot my husband tells me to park where they keep the dumpsters. I thought about it for a second then continued to storm off. He just laughed at me and told me to park else where. I don’t like when people laugh at me, so in my anger, fear of possibly missing her dance, and frustration of not finding a parking spot, I yelled, “I AM GOING TO PARK WHERE I WANT TO PARK!!” I was upset because I had trusted him to direct me to a good parking place and here he was suggesting I park by the dumpsters where we were sure to be boxed in! I murmured off some more words, ones which I can’t even remember right now, but I know I was upset. I don’t lose it often, but every now and then the inner diva well she can’t keep her mouth shut! I had an awful attitude for a few minuets to follow. All the while my 16 yr old was in the back seat laughing at the free entertainment of Mom acting like a child. (shame)

We are the shepherds of our children. Our actions, our words, they listen and they watch. If you have teenagers, believe it or not, yes they too are watching, and listening to how you talk and treat others you interact with every second of the day. I believe that the teenagers are actually hoping we slip up so they can use it as an excuse to enforce their own sense of independence when they are being reprimanded.

Talking back to our husbands teach our children these things:

1. It’s okay to act like a spoiled brat, and lose all self-control of our emotions.

2. Disobedience to Authority.

3. Disrespect to Authority.

4. How to be Defiant.

5. How to have a proud and prideful heart and attitude.

6. Rebellion.

7. It is okay to argue until we get our way.

8. How to speak out of anger and not out of love.

If mom doesn’t respect my dad, then why should I? If he always has the finally say, then why is she trying to buck the system? We are leading by example to our children how to be under submission to authority in our lives. Our babies are only our babies for a very brief moment in their lives. They will soon be under the authority of God, Teachers, Coaches, Bosses, the Law, etc..

I pray right now for you and me to take the weakness of being hard-headed and defiant and rely on Jesus’s strength when we want to lash out in anger to our husbands when we don’t get our way, so that we may be quick to respond in love.  I pray that we are reminded by the Holy Spirit to ask for help in this area that we struggle with, having a prideful heart. I pray that God would give us a measure of faith in our husband to trust his authority as the head of our household. I pray that we rise up to the challenge God has called for us as wives to love our husband and submit to them.

By being a submissive wife, our husbands, our children, our marriages, and ourselves will be blessed for it!

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:24

LOVE

Leigh Leigh

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Related Post on Marriage and Submission HERE!!!!

He thinks I’m Beautiful

Beauty through the eyes of a 29 year old Woman.

I look back  now on the ages of 15,16, 17. I remember longing for the days I would be 20 something, then I told myself, I would feel beautiful. I would look mature and have a womanly figure, large breast, nice curves. You know something like Jessica Simpson. I would be able to dress so glamourous, with my matching accessories and heels because hello I would be an adult with my own money to spend accordingly. My make up would be spot on because I would be old enough to wear what ever I wanted, not what Mom preferred.

It was a real shock to look at my body 25 years old with 2 kids. I didn’t see long beautiful flowing hair, nice firm round bottom with large perky breast, quite the opposite! What Mother has time for glamour and fancy make up when she is chasing after 5 plus kids!! My breast some how became smaller then my former teenage years thanks to nursing my two beautiful babies! My waist was fine, but beautiful would never come to mind when I looked at my reflection in the mirror, more like exhausted, let go, worn out, with comfortable clothes on for fashion!

I decided to embrace my body for what it was worth. I guess that is why I started working out. I would be lying to you if I said it was just to feel strong and be healthy. There was some vanity pushing my driving force to get fit! I had the power to change my new mommy body or I could continue to let Motherhood have it’s toll on me and my appearance.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally feel so much better when I am eating clean foods and running. I actually got a taste of what I feel like when I food binge over Thanksgiving and I felt physically sick! My stomach gave me problems for days, and I felt sluggish and just GROSS! So I can now say yes I continue to work out and eat clean because it makes me feel pretty and it makes my body and mind feel GOOD!

4 and 1/2 years later, I am still in a battle with myself when I look into that mirror. I am much more satisfied with my toner body. I do wish this adult acne would go away and never return. My make up well it is still not perfect. Some days I don’t wear any. My hair is far from long and wavy and beautiful. I tend to enhance my flaws with out appreciating what I do have gazing at my reflection!

Beauty! It’s long thick beautiful wavy hair, large breasts, tiny waists, clear skin, white perfect teeth, toned stomach, arms, legs, bum.Well that is what all these magazines and TV shows throw in my face anyways.

Now my almost 30 year old self has and is experiencing, battle scars from over stretched skin due to carrying two 8 pound babies, fine wrinkles, hair growth in unexpected places, gray hair!! I don’t remember Cindy Crawford and all the other beautiful women having these issues going on with their Magazine covers!

But then you spoke just 5 words. These 5 words would shake my skewed perception of beauty. Confuse me actually!

“You are a Beautiful Woman!”

Something I had longed to be since the ripe age of 15, a ” Beautiful Woman.”

Yes you tell me I am beautiful all the time when I am all dressed up and ready to go have fun on a date night. That’s because I put in all the hard work, time, and effort to deserve such a compliment! But this time when you told me I am beautiful woman, it was spontaneous, and unwarranted. I didn’t have one smudge of make up on, no cute outfit, just my lounge clothes, and I am pretty positive I didn’t even  run a brush through my hair all day.

Maybe I couldn’t believe it for myself because I have been so brainwashed (LIED TO) since an early age as to what standards of beauty are. Maybe before you I was never told that sincerely. Maybe I thought it was a lie told to gain something from me by others?

I know your words are real because I know it is true to you and you believe it. You are the only person I trust completely. You are speaking truth into my soul that only you could say for me to believe.

You made me see beauty through your eyes, not my own. You make me feel beautiful not only with your words, but your looks, your warm embrace, your kisses, your devotion to me and our family, and continuing to love me more and more each day.

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I am not sure I will ever fully see what you see when you look at me, but that’s okay because each time you tell me those five words, I start to believe it more and more for myself.

Women need this truth! WE need to hear that we are beautiful bare and in our natural state. We need to believe that beauty isn’t based on the outward appearances alone but what is on the inside. We need you to remind us of these truths as the world throws the next best air brushed hottie in our face!

We trust you, our loving Husband. We believe you. Your words are enough for us, you know!

Thank you my love for seeing what I don’t see and helping change my perspective on beauty!

I wish I could go back and tell the 15, 16, 17 year old me that the beauty I was chasing after would never fulfill me the way the love of my Husband will.

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❤

Leigh Leigh

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As a married woman, I am not a fan of feminism

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It’s all over the news, let’s face it, it really isn’t anything new. Women wanting to be as superior and respected as much as Men. Equal rights they call them. I am not here to criticize the women who have strong beliefs in Girl POWER, I am however going to speak out in Freedom for women who are married. I don’t like this movement because it gives married women a sense of false security that standing up to their husbands is EMPOWERING and makes them STRONG and COURAGES. Marriage was not designed for the Woman to rule over the man in the relationship.

Naturally, submission is hard for every human on this planet, much less women who have had harsh fathers growing up, or a harsh husband now. Let’s take a look at what the bible teaches us on the topic.

Ephesians 5:22-33 teaches us instructions for the Christian household.

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22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-6  (NIV)

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

What I learn from these scriptures is that I am to trust God with my husbands authority. This “authority” God has given him as your husband is not to be used for selfish gain or dominance over you as a woman in a negative manner. This “authority” should be expressed through love! He can tell you what to do out of love for you and your best interest.

Every decision he makes for you and your family should be made out of love. So don’t be afraid of this, trust this! Believe in your husband and express this belief in him to him. Share with him how excited and thankful you are for his authority in your lives because it brings peace and security to you and your children.

I do have to add that if his authority that he wants you to submit to is bringing harm or danger to you or your children, then this is not the same “Authority” Ephesian’s 5 is describing. Marriage is a “partnership” and it has it’s roles and duties for each member of this partnership to follow.

**Spousal abuse is nothing to take lightly. If you or someone you know is currently being victimized by spousal abuse please seek help asap!

 

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Men need respect, trust, security, love, support, and peace from their Wife! The world teaches us to not have respect for the male species because they are all liars, and pigs.

I just recently saw how ugly this war is between men and women on another blog post. Now, men are speaking out on the feminist and how they will not waste their time holding doors open for another rude woman. How all women are just nags, untrustworthy, bossy, etc.

Satan is working hard to turn us against each other with all these equal rights fights. It makes sense especially since we learn in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that two are better then one, because they have a good return for their work. Marriages are strong because they have the unity of two people who come together and fight as one flesh against the enemy with help from the power of the Holy Spirit. Women were designed to need loyalty, trust, and security from their husbands to feel loved. Men were designed to be respected, reverenced, and obeyed by their wives to feel loved.

Don’t let feminism make you believe you are not a strong woman because you submit to your husband. TRUST ME, it takes more COURAGE and STRENGTH to die to your prideful self, bite your tongue, and submit to your man, then it is to be rebellious as our sinful natures are! Submission to your husband is a strong act of obedience to Christ who calls us to submit to our husbands authority.

In Proverbs 31 we can see that a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Who is he who can find her? She is far more precious then jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. 

I have to mention also the importance of our obedience to our husband’s submission for our daughters we are raising. She is watching your every move. She adores you, she wants to be just like you some day. Are your actions in your marriage teaching your daughter how to be a feminist or are your actions teaching her how to be a submissive Godly wife to her future husband?

I haven’t reached perfection in completely submitting to my husband’s authority just yet, but I do continue to die to my prideful sinful nature daily and pray that the Lord gives me the love, grace, mercy, discipline, and strength to be a more submissive wife to my Husband’s authority. I know in the end my obedience to my husband will be a blessing to him and pleasing to the Lord, and I most definitely want both!

She is far more precious then jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. (That my friends is a description of a beautiful Woman!)

X0Xo

-Leigh Leigh

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