🤍 Ash’Leigh Harris
Journal entry 3/26/2020
The World has gone Mad, we are experiencing a toilet paper shortage crisis, and Moms and Dads across the country are trying to not lose their ever loving minds and their patience homeschooling their children.
We have been hankered down in our home for almost 2 weeks now. I technically have not been to work, and the children have not attended school for almost 3 weeks now! Our spring break was just about wrapping up, when our School District announced we were not allowed to return until April 6th. I just received a letter this morning that we are now not allowed to return until April 13th. We shall see if this continues to get pushed back or not in a few weeks I suppose!
For documentation purposes I must state the reason our world has been flipped upside down is because of this little nasty virus called COVID-19. When first released in China the media was calling it the Corona Virus, but now we call it COVID-19. There has been speculation that this virus came from a bat. I however believe that this was man made in a lab, and used as a bioweapon to attack the general population of the world!
Maybe in the near future truth will be revealed, until then, I will just keep trucking along doing my part to not spread it.
I have been making good use of my time in worship and prayer, keeping up on the house work and laundry, homeschooling my daughter because my son has outgrown my help with his Middle School education, doodling, reading, taking walks outdoors, sleeping in, working a little from home, enjoying time with my kids at home; think movies, puzzles, games, cooking, etc.
I plan on dropping some pretty cool to me revelations I have received over the past year from the Lord. They are safely stored on my phone, patiently waiting for me to edit and transfer here onto my blog, aka their SPOT LIGHT!
I would love to hear how this historic time in our lives has effected you personally and what you are doing to stay sane not being able to have the freedom to do what you normally would do; work, shop, seek entertainment, etc. Please drop a comment below, and as always, feel free to follow me on Instagram.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I happen to be off from work so why not blog on how much I am truly thankful to be alive in 2019?
I asked the Lord for a word for this year back in December of 2018 and he told me Endless Possibilities. My BFF, Kathleen, was kind enough to paint it on a little piece of wood so that I could keep my eyes on it for the coming months. I had big dreams, big God Dreams with my art, and I was even planning on starting a coloring book over the summer. I had so many carnal dreams and ambitions. I still long to be able to sell something I create to others. This desire has and will always be a dream of mine.
But, I believe God had better things in store for me. Things that were not in the natural so to speak. Things that can not be bought with man made money, nor sold. In 2019 he has given me endless possibilities to know him more fully, to trust him steadily, and to seek him in all things. He has called me into a deeper love with him, and he has shaped and molded my beliefs to become more aligned with his word. He has assembled my faith so strong, and he has put me through the fires, so to speak, to teach me to sincerely trust what his word says, and to trust in his faithfulness.
The coloring book did not get a running start, nor did any art hooks ups ever come my way. I did happen to meet an Artist downtown, and I really thought hard about taking an art class. These leads just never seemed to get me walking in the right direction. I had to come into my own and stop comparing myself to others. I had to break free from some lies, self doubts, and insecurities. I had to taste true freedom in discovering my identity in Christ and become who he created me to be. The beautiful things is, I think it takes our whole lives to “become” who he originally created us to be, and that is the beauty of walking with him every day in this life.
Seasons come and seasons go, and as we learn and receive more wisdom and revelation of his love for us, we evolve; we change. I don’t ever want to stay the same, stuck in repetitive patterns of thinking that could be toxic to my soul.
I want grow in grace each year, becoming more and more like my original blue print.
I want to love deeper.
I want to express my love more willingly.
I want to share the love of christ with everyone I meet, and I want my life to be a beautiful dance of worship to the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords, JESUS.
I want to give myself to my gifts and callings, and I want to see his will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.
I want to speak the words he gives to me others eloquently and full of faith.
I want to be lead by the Holy Spirit.
I want to be a light that shines bright in a dark place.
I want to see the love of God heal broken people.
I want to see the love of God set people free from bondage.
I want to see the love of God transform people and change their whole trajectory of life.
I want to see generations rise up and be the hands and feet of Jesus.
I want to see a church on fire for God.
I want to see mountains be moved in faith.
I want to see hope in the hurting, and I want to see miracles, signs, and wonders follow all of those who truly believe in Him.
There is so much to be done, with such a short time span to be here on this earth to see it come to pass.
So as I sit here and pour my heart out into this post I just sit in awe and I give thanks for all that God has done in my life. I give thanks for the seasons of the hills and the valleys, because they teach me more of how much I need dependency on God and less upon myself and others.
2019 wasn’t a walk in the park. 2019 was a hard year of loving people who do not love me back, and doing for others expecting nothing in return. It was a year of dying to myself, a year of seeking first the kingdom and what God has assigned to me for this time. I trust he will give me all the desires of my heart, until then I will give thanks for all that he has given me in the present, and I will continue to seek him, to love him more, to grow more mature in him. Thank you King Jesus, thank you for loving me, and allowing me access to you and the Father through your Holy Spirit!
Errr ummm well… I kinda really been seriously thinking about this. Although I do use my Instagram as a bridge to get to my blog. Idk 😐 just been doing a lot of soul searching lately and realizing that as much as I love having FB and IG apps on my phone they are the constant go-to when I am just sitting idle. Maybe I would actually have more to write about if my nose was not on the phone screen?🤷🏼♀️ Maybe then would I have time to daydream and imagine? Yes, that actually sounds good. Maybe just delete FB and only have one IG to just post on? Lol, I sound like an addict trying to not have to quit cold turkey. However, with all the self-pity and denial of the thought, I am actually pretty good at quitting things cold turkey 🦃!
On a side note what is on my mind lately… can we talk about how being a Christian in today’s world seems to be so unpopular and demonized? And what’s up with Truth these days? With Truth so completely falsified, it’s ridiculous to even fathom how people are okay with the new norm for our modern society.
Heaven forbid someone new comes to Christ who is famous, has a radical transformation, and now everyone is like watch out for him. First of all, we are to not put our faith in man, but in God himself. If your looking for an actual man leader look to Jesus, he is the only man leader who was an example of his father, God.
We are to support, to encourage, and pray for each other. We will all come into temptation we will all fall short, make mistakes, guys we are humans! It’s the “next” or the “after ” that makes us. God’s grace saves us, friendships protect us, Holy Spirit guides us. We don’t stay down. We repent and move forward walking out God’s grace, mercy, love, kindness, and forgiveness. We may lose our identity temporarily but if you surround yourself with enough Jesus loving friends who love you the same, they will be there to dust you off and help you pray away fear, doubt, depression, and sin. The world says it takes a village to raise a kid. We are God’s children, and we need our own villages to raise us until we are all finally home! Stop listening to the naysayers, stop listening to whoever is on the radio, your social media news feed. Who are they anyway to form your opinions of others? Those calling people hypocrites -are they walking the straight line themselves? Are they being the example? What about the self-righteous people? The religious spirited people, yikes, those are the worst. Who are you letting influence your beliefs and your faith?
Jesus says to love one another period!
October 25, 2019
Today I feel joy, and contentment. God has been so good to me and today I chose to celebrate him and the goodness he has brought into my life.
I am still in a season of being put into the fire but I, finally in my maturity, let God just sustain me and fight my battles. It’s been amazing and I say this after his grace washed over me and gave me a new song to sing in this chapter of my life.
If I would have wrote down my thoughts a month ago I would have had to write from a place of dissatisfaction and hurt. My Words would have had thorns in them, razor sharp to the touch.
A little over a month ago I threw a fit. I yelled, and I bawled, and I expressed and confessed to God how deeply I was in pain. I couldn’t see a way out, and I felt so lost inside the hopelessness that felt like my present reality.
We don’t have to hold our feelings in all the time. Know that even if your a God’s daughter or God’s son you will still experience feelings of hurt, persecution, rejection from others, and pain. We are not super human with the ability to cast off human emotions. Don’t let pride tell you that you are not allowed to feel emotions. I have spent a long time coming to terms with this. I use to think that if I let others hurt me I wasn’t trusting God enough to heal the pain, but this was just the devils attempt to deceive me into thinking emotions were bad and a sign of doubt and weakness on my part. So what did I do? I stuffed and stuffed and stuffed some more, until I was so full of pretending all my feelings came spilling over like the rushing waters in a spill way. Tears flying galore!
We are allowed to feel but we are not allowed to let those emotions cause us to sin. Anger leads to danger extremely quick! Depression leads to isolation. Rejection and pain can make you be more inner focused which leads to being selfish and self absorbed; the victim who feeds on self pity and any attention we can get our hands on from others.
I finally made my mind up that I would wait on God and I would see the victory because I can chose to stand on his word. His word says that if he is for me, then who could be against me? His word says that the lord will fight my battles, all I have to do is be still. The lord says he will prove to be false the words that rise against me in judgement. I had read them all so many times before but never did I once just hold on and wait it out trusting him and keeping my cool.
Instead off letting the world know I was wobbly and falling apart, I went to the quiet place, and prayed and praises God for what he was doing and will do even if I can’t see it now in the natural.
My battle isn’t over but my fighting strategy is new and is still in play. This strategy of keeping my peace and being true to myself has given me a clear conscience and a mind that is free of fear, and always assuming the worst outcome.
I’m steady…. I am strong because in my weakness he is Strong, and the joy of the Lord is my strength! ❤️
What is he trying to steal from me? What is he trying to steal from you?
- Attention/ Focus
Jesus came to destroy the works of hell. We learn this in Hebrews 2:14 “Since the children have flesh and blood, He too shared in their humanity so that by His death He might destroy him who holds the power of death, that is, the Devil.”
Each day we have a choice to co-labor with the Father through the Holy Spirit to see Heaven come down to earth. Anointed to do good works, and point others to Christ, the one who Saves. (Isaiah 61:1 NKJV) “The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me To preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
Today the Lord made it very clear that not only was I engaged in a spiritual battle, but this attack was specifically to distract me. As I got in the car and rehearsed the insanity of the day, my daughter brought it to my attention that tonight she wanted to pray for a little boy that enrolled in our school. He has a voice, but can not speak. She told me we needed to pray for God to heal his vocal cords because this was very important that he would need to talk in his life. As soon as she spoke those words of love for this child she has just encountered for the first time, the thought hit me how I missed that this morning. Though I was enrolling this student, anger was boiling under my surface lingering from a hellish attack before walking into the office, and I was trying to concentrate and keep my cool, praying for others was the last on my mind, sadly.
The enemy will come against us every singe day. We have to be prepared for that. We have to pray on the Lord’s armor, he has not left us to fend for ourselves. As we shield up and seek his face in the midst of our adversaries attacks and schemes, he is faithful to fight for us.
He will go after our joy. Why? Because the our joy is our strength. He wants us weak.
He will go after our liberty by deceiving us with circumstances that make us believe we will never get over this, surely it will not pass soon enough, we think. We will be enslaved in a negative mind set, a defeated mindset.
He will go after our focus. Who stops to think of others and their needs when they are only focused on themselves and their momentary feelings. He is blinding us to those around us in need.
He goes after our faith. When it feels like the Lord is silent or we aren’t rescued soon enough. When we are slandered or lied on, mocked, or ridiculed, and we don’t get our vengeance, we start to fear and slowly our faith to stand tall becomes fading.
Tomorrow you and I will be faced with another opportunity to either fall for his tricks, or pray for wisdom and revelation of the attack that is being launched at us. I pray that we would be sensitive to say no, not today satan. You will not steal my joy, my liberty, my focus, or my faith. Prepare to set your mind on things above and during the attacks take a deep breath, and then quickly surrender your desire to control the situation to handle it on your own.
The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
January 7th 2019 1:41pm
I’m just taking a brief moment out of my day to write up a quick blog post about this being my last winter break vacation day. Tomorrow I return back to work!
I am very thankful and blessed to have a job that lets me have the same days off as my children as I work for a school district.
I am thankful this break gave me endless opportunities to catch up on sleep and rest, hang out with my husband, have some fun with my kids, catch up on some creative worship art projects, and yes catch up on much needed house cleaning!!
I learned that I need to continue this second semester with some new habits for my home and for my health. I also learned that I may be a little lonely as I don’t have as many adult friends that I would like to have. If I am being honest my lack of friends is probably a result of me becoming a non-proactive recluse in my 30’s.🤷🏼♀️
I Guess I should work on that!
Here we go… back to the grind, the hustle and bustle of 4:30am cardio sessions at the gym, 7a-4pm work days, 5pm-6pm trainings at the gym 6-8 basketball practices/ dinners and 🛏, just so I can repeat and do it all again! 🤪🎉💖☀️💃🏼
I love this life thing, it’s great!
Cheers 🥂 to last day of vacation!