Jesus’s Luxurious Love

The older I get the more I understand and can appreciate the word Luxurious.

When we are younger we don’t pay much attention to the details. Whatever makes us happy or feels good, out of ignorance and youth we indulge, and we are just fine. As we age we gladly exchange comfort for the extra cash. Honestly 20 year old me would have been ecstatic to book a hotel that had a swimming pool. Mid 30’s me is all about that Jucuzzi bath tub and KING SIZE bed. Oh, and you better believe I am reading the reviews to see if this place is COMFORTABLE.

Luxurious to us is heated and cooled seats, extra fur in those house slippers, a silk robe, a big comfy couch we can melt into, or maybe even upgrading to the next package weather it be a spa day, bedroom suit, car, etc. In a nut shell when I hear luxurious I know it is the top of the line, maxed out, all bells and whistles, and I will benefit the comfort and enjoyment it brings to me.

I was reading Psalms 23 today out of the Passion Translation and what really caught my eye was the word luxurious attached to the Lord’s love. The scripture actually reads:

2 He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love. His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quit brook of bliss. 3 That’s where he restores and revives my life.

I stopped and closed my eyes for a moment. I imagined being in a true place of rest. A true surrender to my savior who offers me and welcomes me in to his luxurious love. I imagined the whole room was softly light, the smells were only the finest aromas of luscious flowers, the room had a huge couch that was covered in red silk. Honestly my mind can’t really perceive just how amazing this place was. Classy, fine, sophisticated, and a safe place created just for me. A room with all the upgrades; the bells, the whistle, and Jesus himself giving me his full attention as I just rested beside him.

That is our Jesus. He is so loving, so kind, and so luxurious. I imagine he has BIG swagger, and all the mansions he is building for us up in heaven makes the worlds most expensive luxurious mansion look like a Polly pocket home in comparison. I imagine there are technologies, fabrics, and “comforts” we have never seen, heard, or felt.

His love is so rich the closest word we can get to in our human dictionary is luxurious. His love is so soft, so enjoyable, so comfortable, so peaceful, so valuable, so powerful.

So, the next time your sister or your friend says you need to go rest, remember what opportunity is being presented to yourself. Really rest in his goodness. Rest in his love for you!

He is waiting to restore your soul in his luxurious love!

What are you waiting for?

It’s Your Choice, Life or Death

It amazes me that no matter what our circumstances are in our lives we actually get to choose how we are going to navigate through them. Like seriously, that seems almost imposible to comprehend to me. With so many decisions that have to be made on the daily, we are in control of our actions. Notice I said our actions!

Depression is a black misty fog monster. It swallows you up in the depths of it’s belly and it wants to keep you there hidden from the outside world. Depression doesn’t care if it’s your loved one’s Birthday, or vacation time. He usually comes with out warning, and over stays the uninvited welcome.

I know Depression, and because of my autoimmune disease and childhood trauma, I am extra sensitive to being snatched up by it.

If you are not familiar with it yourself, it can make you feel lifeless like a zombie, uninterested with life, emotionless, sad, afraid, hopeless, empty, angry, the list goes one, and it can manifest itself differently each time.

For me I have noticed a Cycle. It will start with extreme anxiety and panic attacks which make me feel helpless and out of control and them BAM…the Black Mist, and my emotions are high jacked, I can’t process words to describe what is going on in the inside, and then….. hope defered.

Last night I had hit that bottom of the rope. I was getting aggravated with myself. “Ash, you have already been healed of so much trauma in your life, why are you taking us into the deep end? We wont be able to keep our chins above water, and I don’t see any life savors floating out here.” I kept trying to remember how did I get to be mentally sound minded like I was just 12 months ago before this ms diagnosis?

And wouldn’t you know it, it all started with a surrender heart and a yielded spirit to the Lord. Joyce Meyer’s Battle Field of the Mind was the second book I read, Beauty from Ashes was the first.

Then it hit me. If I want to get well, if I want to be healed, if I want to be back to joyful me I WOULD HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE.

Dueteronomy 30:19

19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against youthat I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Seeking the Lord for his grace and strength is part of choosing LIFE. Jesus is LIFE. His Word is Life. His Spirit is Life. Apart from him we are spiritually dead. Did you know you have a Spirit, Soul, and a Body? Did you know you are to align your Spirit to lead your Soul (mind, will, emotions)?

When we make the choice to be lead by our emotions, we are actually out of alignment and we are being lead by the flesh; our souls.

Depression is a Lying Spirit. Depression thrives on our emotions, our will. That is why it feels so real, because it was a weapon designed to smite us at our weakest part -the soul.

When you are saved, you get a new heart and your spirit is reborn with Christ. But, unfortunately you don’t get a new soul. However God didn’t leave us without help, and he tells us to renew the spirit of our minds. This is where discipline and self control come into play. Also where receiving salvation in Christ through grace and working it out through fear and trembling becomes priority. The Bible tells us that we are being transformed from Glory to Glory in Christ. So being human, and having this human experience has it’s cost. Sure we can bow down to the flesh and give it what it wants, but its a choice, and apart from God it is clear it leads to death.

What I realized was this was my formula I used in the past. 👇🏻

My surrendered heart, my faith and trust in God + God’s love and mercy over me, God’s sufficient Strength = Freedom to Heal

You make a choice then you let go of the fear and trust God to walk with you every day with this choice you have made. This choice means every day you get to walk with a Savior who is relational- a person- not just a statue on a shelf. Every day you get to walk in the Spirit, be lead by the Holy Spirit, and fellowship with the Holy Spirit through prayer and worship.

To not choose to Trust God to be your Sufficient Grace for the Hard things in life means you are Choosing yourself, trusting yourself, and your own strengths. I don’t know about you but I am glad I am not a God because I would be letting myself down all the time. Don’t even get me started on trusting my own flesh to make the right choices for all of us! No way Jose!

What negative circumstances have you been dealing with in your current season of life?

Father I pray that the person reading this would have faith the size of a mustard seed because that is all you require to trust you with their life and release their burdens to you. Renew their minds and strengthen them. Release them from the temptations to navigate life on their own! In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Giving Thanks to God for The Year of the Endless Possibilities 2019

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I happen to be off from work so why not blog on how much I am truly thankful to be alive in 2019?

I asked the Lord for a word for this year back in December of 2018 and he told me Endless Possibilities. My BFF, Kathleen, was kind enough to paint it on a little piece of wood so that I could keep my eyes on it for the coming months. I had big dreams, big God Dreams with my art, and I was even planning on starting a coloring book over the summer. I had so many carnal dreams and ambitions. I still long to be able to sell something I create to others. This desire has and will always be a dream of mine.

But, I believe God had better things in store for me. Things that were not in the natural so to speak. Things that can not be bought with man made money, nor sold.  In 2019 he has given me endless possibilities to know him more fully, to trust him steadily, and to seek him in all things. He has called me into a deeper love with him, and he has shaped and molded my beliefs to become more aligned with his word. He has assembled my faith so strong, and he has put me through the fires, so to speak, to teach me to sincerely trust what his word says, and to trust in his faithfulness.

The coloring book did not get a running start, nor did any art hooks ups ever come my way. I did happen to meet an Artist downtown, and I really thought hard about taking an art class. These leads just never seemed to get me walking in the right direction. I had to come into my own and stop comparing myself to others. I had to break free from some lies, self doubts, and insecurities. I had to taste true freedom in discovering my identity in Christ and become who he created me to be. The beautiful things is, I think it takes our whole lives to “become” who he originally created us to be, and that is the beauty of walking with him every day in this life.

Seasons come and seasons go, and as we learn and receive more wisdom and revelation of his love for us, we evolve; we change. I don’t ever want to stay the same, stuck in repetitive patterns of thinking that could be toxic to my soul.

I want grow in grace each year, becoming more and more like my original blue print.

I want to love deeper.

I want to express my love more willingly.

I want to share the love of christ with everyone I meet, and I want my life to be a beautiful dance of worship to the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords, JESUS.

I want to give myself to my gifts and callings, and I want to see his will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

I want to speak the words he gives to me others eloquently and full of faith.

I want to be lead by the Holy Spirit.

I want to be a light that shines bright in a dark place.

I want to see the love of God heal broken people.

I want to see the love of God set people free from bondage.

I want to see the love of God transform people and change their whole trajectory of life.

I want to see generations rise up and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I want to see a church on fire for God.

I want to see mountains be moved in faith.

I want to see hope in the hurting, and I want to see miracles, signs, and wonders follow all of those who truly believe in Him.

There is so much to be done, with such a short time span to be here on this earth to see it come to pass.

So as I sit here and pour my heart out into this post I just sit in awe and I give thanks for all that God has done in my life. I give thanks for the seasons of the hills and the valleys, because they teach me more of how much I need dependency on God and less upon myself and others.

2019 wasn’t a walk in the park. 2019 was a hard year of loving people who do not love me back, and doing for others expecting nothing in return. It was a year of dying to myself, a year of seeking first the kingdom and what God has assigned to me for this time. I trust he will give me all the desires of my heart, until then I will give thanks for all that he has given me in the present, and I will continue to seek him, to love him more, to grow more mature in him. Thank you King Jesus, thank you for loving me, and allowing me access to you and the Father through your Holy Spirit!

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Ash’Leigh Harris

Habits for 2019 and beyond

10:44am Friday, January 4th

(Note to self -this is for me)

God is so awesome that he made my jaw drop when I read the first line of my devotion for today!

Let me back up. Every new year I obsess over becoming better then I was the year before. Weather it be more healthier, more intuned with the Holy Spirit, better wife, better mom, better daughter, the list goes on. So it was only natural for me to start figuring out what I would work on for 2019 and habits seemed to surface my mind. Apparently we as humans are habitual creatures who do most of life on habits we have unknowingly created weather good or bad. I was asking my husband if he had finished his habits book at work because I remember him sharing some of the things he was learning from it a few months ago.

Last night I was asking him more questions about it and he was quite taking by my new founded curiosity for this book. I could tell by the face he made as in like I was asking things way too late for his mind to process right before he shuts his mind down so he can sleep and get up early to go to work. However, I’m a chatter box and just carried on with extracting all my thoughts I had been thinking yesterday. “Did you know God is like way bigger then I think I can even comprehend!” I blurted as he snuggled tightly under his weighted blanket and 15 pillows. (He is a tall big muscular man, I get the 1500 pillows, I do! )

I hurried along to join him and I drifted off to sleep.

Each morning I wake up and I read my devotionals, so this morning was no different then before.

Now back to the jaw dropping….

A giggle and a smile swept over my face as I pressed in with my ears wide opened for what he was about to speak directly to me through the fine print. “Okay Lord, I’m listening!”

So 2019 what will it look like for me? Well let’s just say I will adopt God’s habit first, I trust you Jesus, then I will sprinkle on top of that some loving others and finding ways to bless them daily, combined with changing my eating habits to more Whole Foods/ less processed junk!

Lord Jesus thank you for your ways of teaching me what is important for my present time here on earth, help me to develop good habits this year Lord that will bless my mind, body, and soul, and bless others. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

-❤️ Me

2019 The Year of Endless Possibilities

7:03am January 3, 2019

I am laying wide eyed awake in bed this morning listening to nothing else but the sounds of my stomach gargle and the ceiling fan whirl. The sun has not made its grand appearance for today, and for whatever reason my subconscious knew my husband had to go back to work after a weeks vacation, and the sounds of his rumbling exhaust woke me.

It’s okay I am not bothered by this. I know we have a connection that desires to be in each other’s presence so I know deep down I was just reacting to his disappearance for today.

I wanted to take a few minutes to blog about what 2019 means to me. I went in prayer and asked the Lord to give me a hopeful word or words for his heart for me in 2019, and he whispered, ” Endless Possibilities!”

Although this phrase wanted to make me feel like I was about to become abundantly rich, as if I would win the largest lottery jackpot this year, deep down inside I believe it’s actually going to be far greater anything money can buy! I believe he is going to create endless possibilities to be a facet of his love to others. Maybe even endless possibilities to pray for others? Endless possibilities to be creative? Endless possibilities to serve?

The list goes on because after all He did say endless!

I want to allow my mind and heart to be consciously aware and remember these words each day this year. Especially when trials and tests come and I start to let my feelings dictate a hopelessness or defeat. (Note to self- work on feelings this year and STOP LETTING THEN RULE YOU!!)

The truth is we serve an endless infinite God who tells us in his word he is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond anything we can dare think, ask, or want.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭3:20-21‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I believe he gave me this phrase just to specifically remind me that my hope is in an endless God. I can put my trust in Him.

Have you ever thought to ask God for a word to speak over you for 2019?

If you haven’t I want to encourage you to ask him! We know we can ask him for anything if we are willing to believe he will answer when we ask and receive by faith.

Maybe you won’t hear a word but he will bring attention to a word or a phrase through a devotion, a song, or a book.

I don’t actually hear his voice audibly, I hear my thoughts that I know I didn’t just think on my own. Some people call it intuition or coincidence, but it is actually the Holy Spirit communicating with our Spirit through our thoughts! 💭

How cool is that!!??

Well I am going to end this now, but I want you to know if you are reading this I am praying for you! I am praying that your heart would be receiving of just how awesome and powerful our God is and I pray he blesses you with endlesspossibilities for 2019! In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

💕-Ash’Leigh

Your Compliments Are Desperately Needed

Sunday December 2, 2018

Listen up!

Your words, they have power!

Your words can break through lies and deception.

Life these days are busy, hectic, anxiety filled, and short.

We are stuck in the rat race trying to mark our check lists off and get things accomplished so we feel like we living up to the worlds standards of success. In the mean time we are forgetting to slow down and love one another with our words.

I experienced the beauty of honesty and the power of lies being broken in a record time of 4 seconds.

My nine year old daughter has a knack for being impulsive and speaking her mind at any given moment. When she was a toddler this could leave me mortified as to what was about to escape those precious tiny lips. However today she teaches me the beauty of simplicity in a word that has become infested with man made complications.

Last week we had to take her in to see a doctor because her body was fighting a virus hence her elevated body temperature. Our regular family physician was booked up and I was desperate to get her seen that day so we went with a doctor she has never seen before.

During the exam the lady doctor was very graciously answering all of her worried nine year old questions about what all was going on on inside of her little body, when aburtly out of no where her impulsive colorful words filled the room as she said as honestly as can be, “You are so beautiful!”

The doctor gasped in these vibrant color words in shock as she covered her mouth as to keep them safe inside, then she paused for a moment almost as if she were about to cry as she said, “It has been close to 30 years since I have been told that.” She collected herself, smiled and resumed the exam.

I was frozen in my chair in amazement of the fact that this beautiful woman who had dedicated her life to helping others has not heard the words every woman loves to hear, needs to hear, should be entitled to hear in 30 years!

Her reaction made me feel the emptiness she must have been feeling up until the words were spoken to her from my big hearted daughter.

In this moment she paused long enough to let some love come in. She felt a little lighter I am sure and I pray she will remember those words when the days beat her up and she is glaring at her reflection in the mirror believing anything less.

I was then convicted in the harsh truth that I could have been one of those daring voices that could have spread beauty and color into others who have needed to hear it, too many God given opportunities in the span of my life, but never did out of fear of sounding silly or fake.

We need to slow down and we need to appreciate the privilege we have to share love with our words and not waste moments being to busy and so self consumed to compliment each other.

I am going to do it, the next time the opportunity presents itself to me. I am going to just blurt it out for all to hear the color words of compliments out of love to others.

My new slogan I’m adopting for 2019 is this: Don’t Hurry, be Happy!

Slow down and appreciate and acknowledge the beautiful people in your life along the way. 💖

Ash’Leigh Harris

God’s Promise A Year Ago Today

A year ago today I journaled what Holy Spirit had told me during my prayer time.

I lay in awe tonight as I am nestled down in my warm safe cozy bed, in my comfortable cool 67 degrees home I think silently in my thoughts, not to wake my husband God your just so good, not only to me but to your children! I am reliving those feelings I felt last summer having a heart on fire and a dream to bring God’s love and heart to another through art. I had just learned a little earlier the significance of how we were created by the Creator God to create! We have his creative DNA in us as his children through his son Jesus Christ. We have permission to broadcast what he is saying over us, nations and neighbors, his people through art forms. God is so big and so vast he has endless was to bring his love down through our creative imaginations.

This truth blows me away!

I ramble because God has taken a desire of mine to create and he has allowed me to work along side him, and together we are bringing his Kingdom to Earth and it is transforming lives of others. One year ago I had no inkling of what I would be experiencing on this day, not one!

A few months ago a dear friend of mine and I met with a man who is a member of our church and who is also a Chaplin for a women’s immigration facility. Little did we know what God was going to drop into our laps that day! We thought we were meeting to go over some questions about something totally off the subject of ministry work and once we shared our hearts for bringing art into our church as a vehicle to usher in God’s presence he told us he needed to ask us if we would be willing to come and do this at his work.

I’m not sure if you get the whole picture, but God was calling two Moms who are as common as they come, to bring his word to the nations in literally our backyard with out even having to leave our home country!!!!!!!!!! 😱😱🤗

We agreed we could fit three sessions in this summer and serve around 100 woman! I believe the facility houses close to 500 at a time.

You may be wondering well what does creative worship look like? We sing, we dance, I do a live painting to a song with a hidden message that the Holy Spirit places in my heart to preform. We then have a time for a message as my friend shares God’s father’s heart and that we are his daughters, and she goes over salvation and has a moment where the woman can receive Jesus as their savior. It’s absolutely the most beautiful thing! Then we show them that we can also worship through art and we allow them to have fun painting on a 8 by 10 canvas! This summer we focused on Daughter of a King so it was fitting they would paint crowns decorated with beautiful exotic jewels!

It’s such a blessing to be there with them and be able to just have that time together to remind them that even in the darkest times God still sees them, loves them, and still has a good plan for their lives!

Today is special because we were asked to come back after our last session and present our creative worship to the whole group of women!! 😱😱 God has taken a little and expanded our horizons to reach more women there! For this I’m forever grateful and excited!!

I share this with the world because if your still reading this I want you to know dear friend that God wants to do so much through you! He has an agenda and it’s that no man shall perish! We are the light of the world, we are a city on a hill, and this dark world is craving the salt and the light which is Christ Jesus in us. Just say, “Yes God I will go! Yes I want to partner with you for your kingdom”, and then sit back and with faith and obedience listen and watch where he takes you. He will not disappoint, because his word never fails! Just like he told me a year ago;”don’t despair, I have gone before you to make a path, trust in me!”

What passions has God placed within you? Are you surrendering that passion to him and asking him to send you to make away to share it for his glory? It’s never too late to get get started!

Be blessed!

Leigh Leigh

“He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭10:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬

A Time for Rest

It has been one incredible last 12 months! I have been on a treasure hunt to say the least with my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. In July 2017 I met up with a friend to discus a dream that was being birthed inside my soul, a God dream! A dream so big it scared me because I had no clue how I could make this dream come into reality. The dream is still a dream and I won’t share it yet, but starting a creative worship art ministry has begun in our church this was something that came along while sharing my God dream. My God dream involves worship downtown that will be open for our whole community. I realize there are season and there are processes. This realization has not put one seed of doubt or urgency, it will happen when the Lord wills it to existence, this I truly believe. I know there are Kingdom resources that have my name on them and they are just sitting and waiting to be released down to earth!

With all that said, starting a creative art ministry has been challenging and fun! I have a sister in Christ who wanted to run with this baby with me. We are currently just now fixing to launch a team and a bible study to unite all of our artist hearts together!

We have pretty much been on our own the past what I call school year, August- May 2017/2018 dreaming up and creating stage sets to help assist our preachers sermons throughout the year, and with much thanks for helping hands to help us along the way. We are thankful that the Lord always provides workers to help!

On top of this new journey I also had a job transition, I felt it was time to close a season of church preschool and pursue the public schools in our community. I was able to serve the school district for 7 months when another door opened and a new job opportunity presented its self to me. I went for it, was offered the position, and the rest is yet to come! I will still be serving our community with the school district but it will be from another angle, assisting administrators. I’m excited to begin this new career journey in just a few short weeks!

I currently sit here typing this out on my iPhone, lounging on a chase lounger listening to the discovery channel, the sounds of my husband breathing and settling into a comfy position on the couch, as people fire off fire crackers on the beach at 10:41pm. I’m writing because I don’t want to lose my creative edge for writing, and also to release creative flow.

I’m writing because I sit in awe and I’m so thankful for where my relationship with Christ has taken me. It’s been one busy exciting 12 months and as I geared up for a two week vacation I couldn’t help but notice Holy Spirit speaking to me through those around me, and a daily devotional. Basically to summarize what I was gathering was that we must rest, we must take time to escape the madness of this world, we must fix all of our thoughts on things that bring us joy and peace and release all stress and worries and chaos to Jesus. That’s exactly what I have done, I have continued to seek him as I would any day but I have just let my mind not even think about the things to come. I have entered into a Holy rest and I have even found a way to be child like and silly again.

I won’t worry, I won’t fret, I won’t sit and get all anxious for the chaos of life to hit me all at once come Monday. I trust that if he wants me to rest and rest in him, he will give me the strength to pick my big plate up and continue to run the race set before me. This excites me and makes me feel excited for the next twelve months, not the opposite to dread or fear. Did I mention I’m about to be in training and learning to do a job I have never done before? LOL but still not an ounce or worry of fear. I praise Jesus and thank him for the rest he has allowed me to enter and hide in! 🙌🏻✝️🎉🍍💃🏻☀️🌊❤️

So, if your still reading this, I know I’m so long winded, I encourage you to really take moments to rest in the Lord. Even if it’s just a weekend or a day, set your mind to rest solely in Christ and enjoy the rest. Don’t for a second feel like you are wasting your time, not being productive, or being selfish. Those are lies the enemy is trying to hang you up on. He does this because he wants to steal your rest and your peace.

I love this picture I took the first morning of vacation. There is nothing as beautiful as a beach sunrise and the reminder from my Daddy God that his mercies are fresh and new each morning! ☀️ 🏖

Go!!! Rest my friends!! ✝️☀️🙌🏻

I was made to Worship the King..

So were you!

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭100:1-5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Today seems like a good day to blog! I’m overwhelmed that my blog is still receiving traffic. I have noticed most visitors stop by for my doxycycline post or my women shouldn’t talk back to their husbands post. I find this interesting.

I feel like as a child of God I have stepped into my purpose and I have been allowing the Holy Spirit to guide my steps. There is so much freedom in knowing who’s your are and the revelation of this truth and the revelation of your true identity can catapult you into your Devine destiny.

I feel the most free when I am in worship to God our Heavenly Father. I begin my worship journey a few years ago when I dabbled into worship painting, this year I have collected another arrow for my belt so to speak and it’s the act of worship dancing.

When I am dancing In the spirit I am using my whole body to worship our Lord. It’s so joyful and fun! Sometimes it flows so peaceful and gentle, sometimes it comes out violently suppose like David how he danced violently before the Lord, and sometimes it even comes out kinda hip hop! It’s just fun and the faucets of the form are endless because I am in worship to a God the creator who never runs out of new creative ways to worship him.

Worship dance can also be used as a prophetic tool to release healing.

“But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.”

‭‭John‬ ‭4:23‬ ‭ESV‬‬

What are you waiting for? We serve a mighty God who is so worthy of all our praise!! Crank up the worship songs and dance before the Lord! 🕊💃🏼🎉👑👏🏻💃🏼👸🏻🙌🏻✝️

Jealous when your Man notices Her?

I have a friend who has been dealing with some self-esteem issues. They seem to be deep rooted and have caused problems in her marriage. It’s a tragedy really. As much as I try to help her feel better about the situation, she pretty much just ignores me and brushes the problem under the rug. This is until the next offense occurs, and we go through the same cycle again. She tells me the problem, I try and reassure her that she is magnifying it in her mind, and then I speak some words of affirmation to her and try help her see the root cause, jealousy. She agrees it is a self-esteem problem, but she never fully understands just how to fix it.

Just recently she called me again, crying and upset with one of the same scenarios. She is very self conscious of her body after a carrying a couple of babies and the extra pounds that attached themselves onto her hips resulting in the high demands, stress, and late night munchies all of us moms can relate to. If she catches her husband as much as looking at another woman, fully clothed or half clothed, she immediately attacks him. She fills her mind up with wrong thoughts, and fuels the fights with her fury and anger. In his defense he feels helpless because in his mind he hasn’t done anything wrong.

It can be a tool of control for some women. They don’t feel they have much control of anything else, but they can control how they are going to treat their Man when he is caught looking at another woman. Fury fueled mean words come darting across the room until they penetrate the heart of their target. They are not happy until he is hanging his head in defeat, tale tucked between his legs. “I did it! I made him feel sorry! I win.” But sweetie you didn’t win anything.

You don’t feel any better after the fight is over. You have actually just deteriorated some of the love fibers that make up the threads that hold you two together. Little by little you are taking something away from the relationship and your love as a whole is being effected in a negative manner.

A random thought popped into my head here recently after I had time to process her latest offense, and left me with a question. I wanted to ask her, “How do you think you will solve this jealousy problem that seems to dictate your happiness in your marriage? Do you catch yourself fantasizing about if only I had another Husband, he wouldn’t make me feel so badly compared to another beautiful woman on TV, the internet, the shopping mall, the baseball game, where ever?”

PERFECT HUSBANDS don’t exist, because there is no perfect person living on this PLANET!

The honest truth is, another man isn’t going to not do what your husband is doing. And honestly if he isn’t lusting over her and indulging in pornography, or pursing an affair, asking for her numbers, etc.. he hasn’t made any offense. When you are in the grocery store minding your business do you not ever meet stares of a member of the opposite sex? Do you never just look at people in general? Of course you do!

So what is it about this other woman that has you feeling so worthless? What is it about his stare that makes you believe he thinks you are not good enough or attractive enough to be called his beloved and prized wife?

Is it her lean slender body? You could always change your eating habits, join a gym and strive to become more active. Over time, and let me tell you this wont happen over night, or even in a few weeks, but maybe months to a year, your body will change and you will appear to be lean and slender.

Is it her long beautiful hair? You could take lots of vitamins, research all those pinterest posts on how to grow thick long beautiful hair, make hair masks, only brush it when it is dry, etc… all those silly antics we are all suppose to believe. Over time, you will have long beautiful hair.

What is it? What does she have that you feel like you don’t have?

As put together and perfect as she may appear in this whole 1.2 seconds that your man is looking at her, she is no different than you. We are women, we all have our quirks and our own flaws, and trust me there is not one single person out there who isn’t insecure about something!

But my point is this… can I whisper some sweet truth into your ear today, and hope and pray that this little truth acts as a patch that repairs the self hating, self condemning holes drilled out by your insecurities you have created in your head about your image of yourself…

Your worth is not diminished by the amount of stares your husband gives another woman!

I will say it again; your worth is not diminished by the amount of stares your husband gives another woman.

He may be intrigued by her outward beauty, but inside she could be the ugliest snake that has slithered the Earth; or CRAZIEST! 😉

1 Samuel 16:7

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”(NIV)

So now what? Have you caused your whole day to be ruined, and your relationship and security with your husband to suffer because of a pretty girl who happened to walk across your mans path and he noticed?

Your husband isn’t responsible for your self worth or your identity. Don’t ever let him have that kind of control or power, because unfortunately he isn’t the perfect husband, and you will be disappointed. Don’t put that kind of pressure on him, no one deserves to have that kind of pressure on them, honestly. There is only one who can handle that kind of pressure and he goes by the identity of I AM! 🙂

GOD!

Your self worth should come from your creator, and when he had finished knitting you in your mothers womb so fearfully and so wonderfully said, this is GOOD!

The truth is, you can pretty much fix anything these days your not happy with on your body thanks to modern day plastic surgery, liposuction, face lifts, injections, fake hair, fake tans, fake anything really. My opinion on all the fake stuff doesn’t count for much. Opinions of others shouldn’t matter, and to each their own. I say do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself with of course the logic of balance! 😉 But if you don’t fix what is going on in the inside of your heart, your mind, your soul, you are never going to be completely happy with yourself or your outward appearance. You are just going to waste a lot of money, effort, and time in the process of fixing something you were not created to fix.

Please just STOP measuring your value in the wrong places! Stop letting the devil get into your head and OFFENDING you! First of all you have no clue what he is thinking when he is just looking at what is in front of him, unless you can read his mind! Then you are like some kind of super woman! 🙂 You are only listening to those lies Satan plants in your mind.

There was obviously something pretty fantastic about you that struck him silly and said, “Out of all the beautiful women on this planet, I must have this one! I pick her!”

Absorb the following truths found in scripture:

“You are precious in my eyes, honored, and loved…” Isaiah 43: 4

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (NIV)1 Peter 3:3-4

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (NIV) Proverbs 31:30
The point God is trying to drive home in scripture is this; the heart is what makes you beautiful. The heart controls your beauty.

I don’t think 1 Peter 3:3-4 is literally saying you should never buy any pretty clothing or jewelry. It is just trying to make you focus on inner beauty because, um, in case you’ve forgotten, these bodies we live in are only temporary. No amount of botox or hours on the treadmill and hitting the bar bells are going to save us from aging! If you value yourself based on your outward appearance you are going to be left feeling empty and sad when you are old and wrinkly because of the beautiful results of a long life lived.

If you have a beautiful heart ,that you know with out a shadow of a doubt is valued by God, you will see yourself differently. You wont even be wasting your time on silly thoughts because you will know the truth, and it will set you free from comparison to any other beautiful woman or feeling devalued.

God didn’t give her anything more than he gave you. He didn’t use all his efforts on knitting her beautifully together, and then decide to use all the scrap piles for knitting you. He doesn’t work that way!

ALL things were created GOOD and for his GLORY, which means you were created GOOD and for his GLORY.

If you are a child of God, then you are valued to Him because when he sees you, he sees his Son, Jesus!

Don’t keep running around those same circles with Satan who is only trying to screw up your happiness! You are fantastic! You are enough! You are beautiful!

Love,

Leigh Leigh

Follow me here or on Instagram @Absorbing_grace or Leigh Leigh Speaks on Facebook!