Please Burst my bubble…

……….of moodiness!

I woke up this morning with this verse heavy on my heart.

Mark 12:30-31

Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all you soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no greater commandment than these.”

It was like a big spiritual spanking for me as I have been very grumpy and probably hard to live with lately.

I started this blog to encourage woman and speak truth into their lives. This doesn’t mean that I am above both. I know I am not. So then I thought well maybe someone out there needs to hear this too!

I have been very negative lately about me in general.  The more I try to encourage you how beautiful you are and how awesome it feels to set goals and reach them. I have been walking around with self doubt, and a critical spirit about myself.

I just read Crash the Chatter Box by Steven Fortick and it was a great read. It made a lot of sense but obviously I need to go read it again. The truths that I learned about mindless chatter didn’t seem to take root in my heart.

I will be turning 30 in a few short months and the pressure to be 30 and fabulous is really kicking in. (Why I think you should be 30 and Fabulous sure beats me!)

Why must I live with so many pressures I (me, Ash’Leigh) put only on myself? I hate pressure. It is thick, and heavy, and smuggling. It chokes the happiness out of my spirit. It creates false expectations that I (me, Ash’Leigh) only place on myself. It is like I (Me, Ash’Leigh) am my greatest enemy, my greatest competitor. I sure do get tired of me!

There are a lot of things that I am just not happy with right now with myself but I will not bore you with the details. They are silly anyways but because I have sat and highlighted them in my mind, blowing them up like a Ginormous sized Advertisement Billboard, they have became HUGE and daunting to me. We have a tendency to do this!

Mark 12:31 brought some clarity to my bad attitude lately. I am not really upset with everyone around me. I am lashing out in grumpiness because I am not happy with myself. I am not truly loving myself.

Are you lashing out and taking anger out on random strangers or the ones you love?

Here are some signs to look for.

Unexplained Moodiness.

Unexplained grumpiness towards your children or your husband, friends, family.

Extreme irritability with the WORLD and everyone in it.

Feelings of doubt and insecurities on several areas in your life.

Speaking negative remarks about yourself to others. Example: “I could never do that, I am not smart enough.”

Letting how your body fits in your clothes that day dictate your attitude and your mood.

Majority thoughts on negativity.

Picking out every single flaw on you and every single human around you.

I think there is some insight in this scripture. We are told to love our neighbor as we love our self, but in reality we actually TREAT OTHERS how we TREAT OUR SELF.

Maybe you don’t. Maybe you have learned to fake loving everyone else while inside you are being choked with insecurities and self doubt and hate. I think this can only last for so long. Click here to learn why I am not faking things anymore!

The truth sets you free.

I Love God with all my heart. I have been asking him to change my attitude repeatedly lately. I know when something is off inside my mind. I am thankful for this reminder this morning.

I have to get back into grips with What God thinks of me.

I am his Child. John 1:12-13

I am created in His image. Gen 1:27

I am deeply Loved by Him. Jer 31:3

I am Forgiven. 1 John 1:9

He never gives up on me. Philippians 1:6

I am always on His Mind. Psalm 8

His works are Wonderful so I am Wonderful. Ps 139:13-14

I am not rejected! Isa 41:9

I am the apple of HIS eye. Zec 2:8

We can’t be who God has created us to be with a CRITICAL NEGATIVE SPIRIT.  Satan knows this and I believe that this is his favorite way to drive us insane and kick us of our course.

But THANK GOD Greater is He who is in me, then he who is of this world!

We need to recognize the attack from the Enemy and then rebuke the negative, critical spirit attacking our mind. Then pray by asking God to restore the damage it may have caused in our hearts, help us see ourselves through His eyes, and help us to love ourselves like he loves us. We need faith to believe what his Word says about us allowing it to become our foundation of our own identity; our true identity in Christ.

We need to build ourselves up instead of tear ourselves down. This is important because I believe we will leak what we are filling ourselves up with. If I am feeling nasty and critical inside I will leak this onto my husband, my children, my friends and quickly critize them, but if I am full of the love of God and building myself up in his words, his truth, I will leak this onto others. (Encouragement, love, support. etc..)

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Be True to yourself always!

What helps you come out of a self loathing funk?

Xoxo

Leigh Leigh

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Photo credits:pinterest and Socialnetworkvoice.com

 

 

She doesn’t know why she doesn’t love herself

She is driving a minivan full of children to school, sorting laundry, filing reports behind a desk, listening to mindless chatter from her girlfriends, taking orders, reading food labels as she grocery shops. She is behind the voice you hear on the phone, she is in the cosmetics department glancing at all the beauty products on the shelf, reading all the promises the product will make her feel if she uses it. But, she is empty inside and she doesn’t know why? You see her everyday, you both make small talk and continue about your way. She has a dirty little secret, the same one a lot of us hide. She doesn’t really love herself and she doesn’t even know why.

Maybe it’s that she has always been told she has a wide bottom, her legs are too short, chest too flat, nose is too long, and that beauty mole that came from grandma does not make her feel beautiful at all. It has to be the dimples in her thunder thighs, her super stringy hair, acne on her checks, forehead wrinkles that are growing ever deeper. Surely she must know that this is all outward appearance stuff that pertains nothing to her heart, her soul!  But she hasn’t the faintest clue. That’s because she hasn’t discovered what true love really is.

Think of it like this. For me, growing up what my Mother said was pretty on me, I believed. She was my very first beauty and fashion expert. Even to this day as a 29 year old woman I still call my Mother and ask her what hair color looks best on me. Why do I do this? Because she is my Mom, the woman who nurtured and raised me, and the only one who will tell me the brutal truth when I ask of her opinion or advise without crushing my ego. Mother always knows best and I trust that she would never tell anything to make me, her baby girl, look or feel ugly!!

I truly believe this is how I should look to my heavenly father as well. If you think your Mother favors you, can you imagine how much God favors and adores you?! After all, He is my creator who knows me better then dear mom or myself. I know that he would never want me, his perfect creation, to feel ugly, unworthy, and unloved, just like my Mom.

1 John 4:19

“We love because he first loved us.”

God loved you so much that he gave his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life. We also know that that there is no greater love then to lay down ones life for one’s friend. John 15:13 ( I know he calls me friend see John 15:15) Jesus came into the world to save his people who where separated from God because of their sin. He sacrificed his life for me. He died so that I may be forgiven of my sin, free from the slavery of my sin, and made me holy and righteous by his blood! He loved me before I was conceived in my mothers womb, and he will never stop loving me. His love never fails, it never gives up, and it never runs out on me. His mercy and grace are new to me every morning. He thinks I am precious in his sight, worth saving, worth dying for, worth rescuing, worth healing, worth forgiving on a second by second daily basis.

When I keep my eyes fixed upon him and his love for me, I can love myself. Why? Because I know he first loved me!

We gain confidence when we believe someone does love us and accepts us flaws and all, we can start to embrace that security and love and accept ourselves. We can do this with the power of the holy spirit’s help through our prayers. We can always ask God to let us see ourselves the way he sees us. We can ask for help with self control, you know one of the fruits of the spirit we have as believer in him. Start soul searching, praying, asking God to reveal how beautiful and perfect you are in his sight. Meditate on his words and scriptures about his love for you daily.  If  you are really struggling with inward or outward beauty right now, I urge you to write down on sticky notes these scriptures you find and post them on your bathroom mirror, or stuff them in your purse. Sometimes we just need to be reminded a little more then others! These words that you mediate on are called words of truth. God can not lie and he will not lie to you. Words of criticism and negativity are just whisper’s of Satan.

God loves you so much, he created the beautiful Woman you are inside and out. He loves you on your worst days, he loves you on your best days. He never stops loving us. Even on our ugliest days he is here patiently waiting for us to seek him for his love and assurance. I am sure the last thing he wants is to see you, his child, walking around not loving yourself so Knock it OFF!! 🙂

Love yourself because HE first loved you….and he still loves you!

She doesn’t know why she doesn’t love herself …………..because she doesn’t know how loved she is.

What are the lies that Satan whispers to you about yourself? What encourages you to love yourself more? Please share, I would love to know!

xOxO

Leigh Leigh