That’s Right….but hear me out why!
This is how I personally view our family dynamics in our Jesus loving home, my dear husband is the commander in charge, leaving me secondary commander in charge. We have four children as follows big brother who is 16, big sister who is 13, little brother who is 8, and little sister who is 5. If you have a five your old or younger child in your family then you really know who “runs” the household! 😉 Just kidding!
I respect my husband’s authority as the leader in our home, and everyone is very clear on who has the ultimate say. It’s comical to me, when the little children want something they always ask their Daddy, but when the big kids want something they usually ask me in hopes to charm their Dad into letting them get what they want. When they want something really bad, they charm me. Kids learn how to be master manipulators I think straight out of the womb! I always tell them we will see, but first I have to ask your father. Often times I just make them ask him. I can see their excitement turn quickly into fear when they realize I will not budge with out my husbands say so.
I love that I can trust my husband to have the final say in our home. It takes a lot of pressure off of myself to be honest. It also makes me feel loved, safe, and secure under his authority as my husband in my life. My husband is very thoughtful to listen to my views, respects my opinions, and suggestions as we co-parent our children together. Ultimately though, I understand he does have the final say, even if I don’t always full heartily agree with him. He is never harsh, hard, pressing, criticizing, rude, oppressive, inconsiderate, abusive, or control starved. He does give me the freedom to make my own choices, but is honest when I ask him for his opinion on any topic. To be a God-fearing leader of your family, you must love God and love your wife.
If you are a woman who wears the pants in your house hold, this post was not intended to offend you in any way or bring judgment against how you run your home. We are all given the same free will to choose what works best for us.
I was at the gym today on the treadmill, cardio day, for one full hour. Who ever says that running frees your mind, has never entered mine! If I am going to be running on a treadmill for an hour, I have got to be thinking of anything that will make me feel like that hour just flew by! Cardio is just straight up BRUTAL!
My thoughts are like a ping-pong balls bouncing to and fro all over the place up there. I think about things I am thankful for, things that I need room to improve on, conversations I have had, or conversations I listened to over the past week.
For example, I was thinking about how I was cleaning my room on Monday and over heard in the back ground a speaker on the Joyce Meyer Tv show explain how parents are the shepherds of their children. That phrase blasted my ear drums like the sound of a new-born baby crying three rooms down. It stood out very clear and left an impression on my heart.
We as mothers have such a great responsibility shepherding our little baby sheep, with endless opportunities to reflect Christ’s love and obedience in all areas of life.
I did try to drowned my thoughts out with some Skrillex music as I ran my little heart out.
I ended my cardio with a cool down walk and turned on my Joyce Meyer Podcast. If you can’t tell I really love that woman! She was cracking me up today because she was sharing how it has taken her over ten years but she finally is getting over not talking back to her husband. She made it seem all giggles but conviction struck my heart, and wouldn’t let me forget how I had acted the night before.
I have been brainstorming for some fun posts to blog about in the future that are on the topic of marriage, so I have been doing my bible studying on the topic. Ironically enough I read over 1 Peter 3 for like the 20th time in my marriage a few days ago. It’s funny how God will leave a trail of bread crumbs for you to follow when he is teaching you something.
We as Jesus loving wives are called to be submissive to our husbands.
When I heard her talk about not talking back to your husband the inner diva inside of me blurted out, “What!! Why!? He is not my father, he is my Husband! This makes me feel like a little child, and I am not a CHILD!” That of course was the flesh me, but as I took into consideration the benefits of being submissive they out weighed my prideful heart. So please don’t throw something at the screen when I tell you, we should not talk back to our husbands! Before you get all GIRL POWER on me, read for yourself!
Acting like a spoiled little brat has always rubbed my heart the wrong way. Sure if feels good to throw a fit the size of Texas, but I feel like If I don’t want my kids acting like spoiled little brats, then I shouldn’t either.
I was quickly reminded of my actions and what resembled how my five-year old would act over not getting her way. I threw a fit in our car last night in front of our 3 children. We were heading to the Middle School to watch big daughter perform her dance at The Night of the Arts. There were absolutely no parking spots available and we were running late. After circling the parking lot my husband tells me to park where they keep the dumpsters. I thought about it for a second then continued to storm off. He just laughed at me and told me to park else where. I don’t like when people laugh at me, so in my anger, fear of possibly missing her dance, and frustration of not finding a parking spot, I yelled, “I AM GOING TO PARK WHERE I WANT TO PARK!!” I was upset because I had trusted him to direct me to a good parking place and here he was suggesting I park by the dumpsters where we were sure to be boxed in! I murmured off some more words, ones which I can’t even remember right now, but I know I was upset. I don’t lose it often, but every now and then the inner diva well she can’t keep her mouth shut! I had an awful attitude for a few minuets to follow. All the while my 16 yr old was in the back seat laughing at the free entertainment of Mom acting like a child. (shame)
We are the shepherds of our children. Our actions, our words, they listen and they watch. If you have teenagers, believe it or not, yes they too are watching, and listening to how you talk and treat others you interact with every second of the day. I believe that the teenagers are actually hoping we slip up so they can use it as an excuse to enforce their own sense of independence when they are being reprimanded.
Talking back to our husbands teach our children these things:
1. It’s okay to act like a spoiled brat, and lose all self-control of our emotions.
2. Disobedience to Authority.
3. Disrespect to Authority.
4. How to be Defiant.
5. How to have a proud and prideful heart and attitude.
7. It is okay to argue until we get our way.
8. How to speak out of anger and not out of love.
If mom doesn’t respect my dad, then why should I? If he always has the finally say, then why is she trying to buck the system? We are leading by example to our children how to be under submission to authority in our lives. Our babies our only our babies for a very brief moment in their lives. They will soon be under the authority of God, Teachers, Coaches, Bosses, the Law, etc..
I pray right now for you and me to take the weakness of being hard-headed and defiant and rely on Jesus’s strength when we want to lash out in anger to our husbands when we don’t get our way, so that we may be quick to respond in love. I pray that we are reminded by the Holy Spirit to ask for help in this area that we struggle with, having a prideful heart. I pray that God would give us a measure of faith in our husband to trust his authority as the head of our household. I pray that we rise up to the challenge God has called for us as wives to love our husband and submit to them.
By being a submissive wife, our husbands, our children, our marriages, and ourselves will be blessed for it!
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:24
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Related Post on Marriage and Submission HERE!!!!