Afraid/Hopeless/Selfish, It’s never too late to Change

 

*Please pardon my absence! We are now T minus 3 days from being out of Preschool! I will have one week to maintain order in my home before the children are out of school for summer!
lovefran.com
lovefran.com

I sit here in a reminiscing mood. I don’t think I have shared with you the inspiration for this blog. Have you heard of a music group called For King & Country? They released a song on the radio last year called Fix my Eyes. Every time I would hear the words “Fight for the weak ones, Speak out for Freedom” my heart would beat fast and hard. There was a passion growing inside of my heart to share with others the love of Christ. I am just yet one voice of millions, billions, and if you know me personally a very soft-spoken voice at that, so it would only make sense that I would write and not speak out loud! Amazingly enough God doesn’t care how loud or quiet we are he can still speak through us all.

Let me share the Chorus so you can see what I am talking about:

I’d Love like I’m not scared
Give when it’s not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You

Today as I am reflecting on the words of this song I can’t help but feel insecure. My blog tends to be an accountability for me. It helps hold me accountable to living a healthy life style from the inside out! It would not benefit you or me the least bit if I didn’t live out the topics and advice I give here on this blog!

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I can get my feathers ruffled in a jiffy, I can have the don’t want to’s to get up and go work out, and there are days I don’t pick up my Bible.. I am so far from perfect it is pathetic, and sharing my walk with Jesus makes me feel vulnerable of harsh judgments. These feelings also make me hesitant to continue to write.

The truth is………..sometimes…………some days……

To love like I am not scared seems impossible. I am scared! I am scared that I am going to get hurt! I am scared that someone will take advantage of me or worse not accept my love as true or genuine.

Give when it’s not fair.. how many times have I shouted out loud, this isn’t fair!!!! How many times have I been angry, while smiling and bearing that big fake grin, trying to convince myself that as a women of faith I’m doing the right thing, the “Christian” thing by trying to be my friendliest! Meanwhile I am not taking the root problem to God so he can do a work in my heart, which is breeding resentment, anger, and lots worse.

Live life for another, take time for a brother… there are days I am pumped to be a blessing to someone, but I would be lying to you if I told you I never have days where I would rather lock myself in my bedroom and watch chick flicks on Netflix all day! There are days where I wish I could rush motherhood, rush work, rush life, etc.

Fight for the weak ones, speak out for freedom….how many times have I gone mute in a situation I should have been courageous enough to take a stand for someone who was too afraid to speak up for themselves! How many times have I been too afraid to stand up for myself! Those moments leave me empty inside. How many opportunities have I wasted sharing the gospel with a stranger, a friend?

Find faith in the battle…the battles that come in short spurts, or torrential downpours in my every day life. I have to admit some days I lose hope in battles I have been fighting while praying for grace to get me through. I doubt in faith when I need it the most. Why? I don’t know why! I think it has something to do with being human. Battles of being a Mom, a friend, a co-worker. I find my biggest battles usually are the ones I wage within myself in my mind. Am I doing this whole Jesus loving thing right? Am I being a light in a dark place? Salt in the world?

And the worst part of it all is some days I don’t have my eyes fixed on Jesus, I have my eyes fixed on other things like worrying about drama, attractions this world offers us, or just distractions that show up and stay a while.

Just thinking about how imperfect I am leaves me craving his love and grace more. Knowing that He knows I am imperfect , but still chose to die for me so that I would be covered in his grace, forgiveness, and love makes me love Him more. On my worst days, He still loves me the same!

We are all imperfect, no matter what calling we have on our lives. Everyone just have bad days here and there. Everyone falls short of his glory,  but everyone can still receive his forgiveness in the areas we fall short in, and everyone can receive Christ power to over come any obstacle they are facing on any given day!

So today I admit my short comings, my distractions, my desires of wanting my own control and my own way in life.

I don’t have it all together, but I know and have the One who knows how to keep me all together, and His grace is sufficient for me!

If you listen to all the words of Fix my Eyes, you learn that the song is about going back to a younger version of yourself and living a more selfless and brave life! It is never to late for you or for me to …

Love like WE ARE not scared
Give when it’s not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix OUR eyes on CHRIST

I challenge you on this Monday to live Fearlessly, Recklessly, and Radically for Christ!

 

Here is the song on Youtube!

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Hugs,

Leigh Leigh

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Brain FREEZE no ICE CREAM NEEDED

Insecurities of writing have paralyzed my fingers from typing.

I (HEART) blogging, but these past few weeks I have been at a complete stand still.

My mind races in the middle of the night with words to tell stories, but I wake with only the remembrance of something great, yet I am just blank.

Life is shifting, creating chaos, unbalance, disorder.

I am evolving as a wife, a mother, a woman, a person.

I am a creature of habit, changes corrupts my stability.
I Love a challenge….. Bring it LIFE.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
When life gives you football games, lots and lots of football games, Cheer Loud.
When life gives you chaos, embrace a change.
When life gives you events, games, practices, appointments, deadlines, make a schedule.

found on pinterest
found on pinterest

Philippians 4:13

xoxo
Leigh Leigh

follow me on twitter http://www.twitter.com/ash_leighharris or Facebook http://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks

*featured image found at http://sweeps.piqora.com/spirithalloween

Leigh Leigh Speaks

Nothing screams “Vulnerable” more then creating your very on blog about your life. As I sit here writing this very first blog post butterflies race about fluttering extremely fast as the letters appear on the screen. I guess this whole concept started with an email I received a few short weeks ago from a woman who was starting up a sports bottle customization company. It would appear that she had maybe got in a little over her head. I simply asked a few questions and the response that I received back rocked me. “Hi this is ######. I am a mother of four but I am running a fundraiser.” She then continued with saying that she would love to talk and see if we could together come up with some of the answers to my questions.

The passion for starting a blog has been growing for a little over a year now. I journal the old fashion way with a pen and a pretty decorative blank paged journal. If you are like me, we do all of our soul searching in the shower. As I am scrubbing my floral shampoo in my hair, day dreaming of what my blog would consist of, I heard those words come back, but they weren’t hers they were mine. Why would my blog matter? I am just a Mother of four. I immediately stopped right there in my thought and begin to cry. I had felt that inadequacy the woman had expressed in her email. That same insecurity every mom feels as she dreams up, and aspires to be something more then just their mom. It was in that moment I knew I had to bust out of my comfort shell of that silly little title “Mom of four.” Yes, it may be just a title, but it is being used in a negative manner and not the way it was intended. How many times have we thought about putting in a job application, starting a company, joining a new gym, entering into any type of competition, (cooking, sewing, crafting, painting, etc..).. all to be drowned out by the bulling of that phrase.. why would you do that your JUST a mom of 4? This bully phrase is the whisper of Satan holding us back and keeping us right were we are, in the sea of our own insecurities and comparisons.

If you are a mother of one child, you my friend are IMPORTANT. You have learned to be loving, kind, forgiving, patient, selfless, nurturing, compassionate, and wise beyond your years. You are inspiring, empowering, special, unique, quirky, one of a kind. You’ve got it! Anything you dare dream, think, hope, you can do! I have a voice and so do you! So let’s speak up sister and share the things that make us all connect and relate with one another.

Here is to stepping out of FEAR and stepping into FAITH.

Journey with me as I share my life as HIS Wife, Their Mother, My best friend, working out, staying healthy, growing in faith, and following Jesus.

xOxO
Leigh Leigh

 

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