Tag: children

Talking back to your husband is a NO NO!

That’s Right….but hear me out why!

This is how I personally view our family dynamics in our Jesus loving home, my dear husband is the commander in charge, leaving me secondary commander in charge. We have four children as follows big brother who is 16, big sister who is 13, little brother who is 8, and little sister who is 5. If you have a five your old or younger child in your family then you really know who “runs” the household! 😉 Just kidding!

I respect my husband’s authority as the leader in our home, and everyone is very clear on who has the ultimate say. It’s comical to me, when the little children want something they always ask their Daddy, but when the big kids want something they usually ask me in hopes to charm their Dad into letting them get what they want. When they want something really bad, they charm me. Kids learn how to be master manipulators I think straight out of the womb! I always tell them we will see, but first I have to ask your father. Often times I just make them ask him. I can see their excitement turn quickly into fear when they realize I will not budge with out my husbands say so.

I love that I can trust my husband to have the final say in our home. It takes a lot of pressure off of myself to be honest. It also makes me feel loved, safe, and secure under his authority as my husband in my life. My husband is very thoughtful to listen to my views, respects my opinions, and suggestions as we co-parent our children together. Ultimately though, I understand he does have the final say, even if I don’t always full heartily agree with him. He is never harsh, hard, pressing, criticizing, rude, oppressive, inconsiderate, abusive, or control starved. He does give me the freedom to make my own choices, but is honest when I ask him for his opinion on any topic. To be a God-fearing leader of your family, you must love God and love your wife.

If you are a woman who wears the pants in your house hold, this post was not intended to offend you in any way or bring judgment against how you run your home. We are all given the same free will to choose what works best for us.

I was at the gym today on the treadmill, cardio day, for one full hour. Who ever says that running frees your mind, has never entered mine! If I am going to be running on a treadmill for an hour, I have got to be thinking of anything that will make me feel like that hour just flew by! Cardio is just straight up BRUTAL!

My thoughts are like a ping-pong balls bouncing to and fro all over the place up there. I think about things I am thankful for, things that I need room to improve on, conversations I have had, or conversations I listened to over the past week.

For example, I was thinking about how I was cleaning my room on Monday and over heard in the back ground a speaker on the Joyce Meyer Tv show explain how parents are the shepherds of their children. That phrase blasted my ear drums like the sound of a new-born baby crying three rooms down. It stood out very clear and left an impression on my heart.

We as mothers have such a great responsibility shepherding our little baby sheep, with endless opportunities to reflect Christ’s love and obedience in all areas of life.

I did try to drowned my thoughts out with some Skrillex music as I ran my little heart out.

I ended my cardio with a cool down walk and turned on my Joyce Meyer Podcast. If you can’t tell I really love that woman! She was cracking me up today because she was sharing how it has taken her over ten yearsbut she finally is getting over not talking back to her husband. She made it seem all giggles but conviction struck my heart, and wouldn’t let me forget how I had acted the night before.

I have been brainstorming for some fun posts to blog about in the future that are on the topic of marriage, so I have been doing my bible studying on the topic. Ironically enough I read over 1 Peter 3 for like the 20th time in my marriage a few days ago. It’s funny how God will leave a trail of bread crumbs for you to follow when he is teaching you something.

We as Jesus loving wives are called to be submissive to our husbands.

When I heard her talk about not talking back to your husband the inner diva inside of me blurted out, “What!! Why!? He is not my father, he is my Husband! This makes me feel like a little child, and I am not a CHILD!” That of course was the flesh me, but as I took into consideration the benefits of being submissive they out weighed my prideful heart. So please don’t throw something at the screen when I tell you, we should not talk back to our husbands! Before you get all GIRL POWER on me, read for yourself!

1 peter 3, wives, godlyActing like a spoiled little brat has always rubbed my heart the wrong way. Sure if feels good to throw a fit the size of Texas, but I feel like If I don’t want my kids acting like spoiled little brats, then I shouldn’t either.

I was quickly reminded of my actions and what resembled how my five-year old would act over not getting her way. I threw a fit in our car last night in front of our 3 children. We were heading to the Middle School to watch big daughter perform her dance at The Night of the Arts. There were absolutely no parking spots available and we were running late. After circling the parking lot my husband tells me to park where they keep the dumpsters. I thought about it for a second then continued to storm off. He just laughed at me and told me to park else where. I don’t like when people laugh at me, so in my anger, fear of possibly missing her dance, and frustration of not finding a parking spot, I yelled, “I AM GOING TO PARK WHERE I WANT TO PARK!!” I was upset because I had trusted him to direct me to a good parking place and here he was suggesting I park by the dumpsters where we were sure to be boxed in! I murmured off some more words, ones which I can’t even remember right now, but I know I was upset. I don’t lose it often, but every now and then the inner diva well she can’t keep her mouth shut! I had an awful attitude for a few minuets to follow. All the while my 16 yr old was in the back seat laughing at the free entertainment of Mom acting like a child. (shame)

We are the shepherds of our children. Our actions, our words, they listen and they watch. If you have teenagers, believe it or not, yes they too are watching, and listening to how you talk and treat others you interact with every second of the day. I believe that the teenagers are actually hoping we slip up so they can use it as an excuse to enforce their own sense of independence when they are being reprimanded.

Talking back to our husbands teach our children these things:

1. It’s okay to act like a spoiled brat, and lose all self-control of our emotions.

2. Disobedience to Authority.

3. Disrespect to Authority.

4. How to be Defiant.

5. How to have a proud and prideful heart and attitude.

6. Rebellion.

7. It is okay to argue until we get our way.

8. How to speak out of anger and not out of love.

If mom doesn’t respect my dad, then why should I? If he always has the finally say, then why is she trying to buck the system? We are leading by example to our children how to be under submission to authority in our lives. Our babies are only our babies for a very brief moment in their lives. They will soon be under the authority of God, Teachers, Coaches, Bosses, the Law, etc..

I pray right now for you and me to take the weakness of being hard-headed and defiant and rely on Jesus’s strength when we want to lash out in anger to our husbands when we don’t get our way, so that we may be quick to respond in love.  I pray that we are reminded by the Holy Spirit to ask for help in this area that we struggle with, having a prideful heart. I pray that God would give us a measure of faith in our husband to trust his authority as the head of our household. I pray that we rise up to the challenge God has called for us as wives to love our husband and submit to them.

By being a submissive wife, our husbands, our children, our marriages, and ourselves will be blessed for it!

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

 Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:24

LOVE

Leigh Leigh

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Related Post on Marriage and Submission HERE!!!!

Oh Grow Up!

JUST KIDDING…..PLEASE NEVER GROW UP in that I am too stiff, joints hurt, old, too serious, and boring kind of way!

It’s important to always be reaching for something bigger then yourself!

As a Mother of 4, I sometimes feel like I am accomplishing something big if I have tucked my kids in bed at night with happy hearts and happy full tummies. I can become fixated on just being one identity, their Mom.

This morning as I was getting ready for the day I was reflecting on how good it felt to just get up and run this morning. For some odd reason I really enjoy that time. My mind began to run away into the finish line of a race. What fun that would be to actually train for something and then accomplish it! I have participated in 5Ks before but not for competition, just for fun.

My mind then quickly came back to its auto drive (the mom mind). I thought about my children and how they would react to seeing their Mom actually competing in something, and them for once cheering me on on the side lines.

I became excited!!

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I don’t want my children to think that their childhood is the only moments for all the fun, the practices, the hard work, the games, the wins, etc.

I want to show them that you don’t stop chasing your dreams when you become an adult, a mother, or a father. I don’t want them to believe that becoming an adult only means working late hours, toting your kids to and from, work, cooking, and cleaning.

When you look at it that way that’s not too inspiring.

Life wasn’t made for us to come to completion early in our lives, it’s a race to the finish.

Lately I have been desperately looking for inspiration and this morning I think I found it.

I’m inspired to show my children to never stop pursuing what you love just because you are told that the fun is suppose to stop once you are a grown up.

My hope is that when they are finally an adult they will look back and remember their Mom as an inspiration to never settle, never stop pursuing whatever it is that makes you feel healthy and happy!

Has becoming an adult caused you to give up on a dream you once had as a child? Maybe it’s time for you to become the inspiration instead of searching for it! 😉

photo credit: Pinterest

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

 

 

Breaking “Perfect Mom”

I have officially given up on being the “Prefect Mom!”

Now wait before you go judging hear me out! This urge to be the “Perfect Mom” comes with the territory of being a “Step Mom” and a “Foster Mom” as well. To be quit frank it has been exhausting and completely stupid to say the least!

The older I get the more I realize my kids, step kids, and foster kids don’t need me to be the “Perfect Mom.” Perfect as in one who: never never cries or feel depressed, loses her cool, never stumbles, never does something completely stupid, never misses an appointment, or sleeps through an alarm, forgets a pep rally, a lunch, wouldn’t dare open her mouth without thinking, never burns a meal, or has an untidy house. I have tired myself down to nothing trying to maintain the perfect clean house while staying on top of laundry for seven people in my home, attending as many sports games between three of my five children as I possibly could, and juggling a part time job. My smile was plastered on BIG and BRIGHT, but I felt empty and disappointed on the inside.

My children need a real mom. One whose love knows no end, disciplines when she would rather be their friend, one who is always there for them, attentive to their wants, desires, and needs, and shows grace when it is or isn’t merited. They need me more then I need the illusion of being the “Prefect Mom.”

I don’t want my children to live with false expectations of what the world has to offer in other people. I am no one special, just a woman who is trying her best at this whole wife, mother thing! I have days where I feel like an overachiever, and days like a true failure. I am a woman so I can experience both of these highs and lows about 30 times in one day!

I want my kids to see me at my best, and at my worst. When I am in first place and on top of the world am I showing them what humbleness and humility looks like? When I finish in last place and feeling down and out do I complain, or extend blame on everyone else’s short coming but my own? How about my attitude? They are watching you know, every move you make, your actions and reactions.

I want them to know that I don’t expect perfection out of them, just their best! I want them to know that I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mother” for them, but not my true honest attempts to be the best version of myself for them as their Mom. There is no such thing as perfection on this earth in my eyes, so striving for that only exhaust me and disappoints me.

I want my children to grow up being real people! I don’t want them to feel like they have to fake perfection to make other people accept them or love them. I want them to know that there will be days where they will need grace and mercy and days where they will need to extend grace and mercy to others.

We all have a story, a past, made mistakes, experienced life changing events that have impacted us and helped shape us into who we are today. I long for the days I can sit up late talking to them like we are friends, sharing my past days of when I was little with them, all the dumb things I did, and all the fun adventures I lived as well, but Today is not that day.

Today is the day I show them love, and I teach them discipline. Today is the day I  train them up in the way they should live and treat others, how to make right choices, help mold their character, and  teach them to always do the right thing, even if it “feels” wrong. Today is the day I show them how to seek first the kingdom of God,  putting others needs before their own, and teach them how to love and forgive themselves and others around them.

It’s imperative that I share the love of Christ with them, building them up on truth and what God says about them! I think it is important that they realize that while I am their Mother here on this earth, there will be a time when I will be a sister in Christ, glorifying our Lord and Savior with them together some day.

I long for that day! That day when all this responsibility of being a Mom is gone and I am left with just being their loving sister in Christ. I will hope that they learned from me, received love from me, knew that I was just trying to give it my best, and while we were here together I loved them the closest to how God loves us, unconditionally!

When I think of how much I love them, my heart burst to know how much I am loved as a daughter of Christ! My love is far from perfect, but his love is perfect for me and every other Momma out there!

I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mom’, but  will never give up on becoming my best each day for them. They were hand selected just for me! When insecurities creep in my mind, I just remind myself that they are an exact reflection of Gods love, and a reminder that I have everything they need out of a Mom to raise them up to be bold and courageous soldiers for him!

If your an Expecting Mom, a New Mom, a Veteran Mom, a Step Mom, an Adoptive Mom, a Foster Mom, you have everything your child needs to feel loved and to be loved! Don’t seek perfection, seek Jesus, he who is Perfect will work out all the perfection you need from him through you for them, and remember in your weakest mommy moments, he is strong! Lean on him, cry to him, ask him to carry your burden load.

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How has being a Mom changed you? Are you seeking perfection on your adventure of motherhood? Please share and comment below.

Leigh Leigh

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A Mom Who Wants To Be More

If I could bottle up the wisdom that comes with being a little innocent child I would! To be an adult and look at life through the lenses of my daughter at her ripe age of 4, I could learn so much!

She sees the world in ways my jaded heart just can’t perceive. It’s her blank canvas. She is the paint brush as she grabs a hold of everything vibrant, bold, and colorful to leave her mark in this world!

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She inspires me each day to just be the creature God created me to be. Unique and one of a kind!

I think I read a quote some where a long time ago that said, “Be an original, not a copy.” I think that’s what God intended us to be. Our own unique one of a kind being that he created that way on purpose. It is so the world can see his glory and his imagination, his creativity.

I love the way she dresses herself! She hardly ever matches.

I love the way she has no care in the world that half her pony tail has been unraveled and hanging from one side of her head for the whole entire day.

I love how she can wear a jacket, shorts, and rain boots when it’s 86 degrees outside with no clouds in sight!

I love how she can tell me what’s on her mind uncensored but sincere.

She is always smiling and always being silly. Nothing she does ever surprises me!

Just today she came running over to the neighbors to show us her face which was completely covered in burgundy lipstick! “Oh Kenna,” I said, “we have got to wash that off before it breaks your face out into a rash!!”

I giggle with fascination that she has both me and her Daddy’s best characteristics (looks and personalities) but she is also just her own self, Kenna!

God please let me live with a heart and a mind like hers. Help me to accept and love myself and be the person you created me to be. Let me truly know and believe that my worth and security comes from no where, no place, and no one person’s opinions of me, but just you!

The world is a cruel, harsh, non-accepting place, but only we can imprison ourselves to be held captive in that brash reality.

Here is to holding onto that freedom we receive in Christ to just be who we are and want to be!

I think being a Mother is a beautiful gift. We have so much responsibility and freedom to raise our children how we see fit. The more I mature and grow in wisdom the more I start to see the purpose of Motherhood. Yes we absolutely have to nurture and provided the needs of our children. They need to be healthy and loved, but I want to be more then just a mom who provides a yummy home cooked meal on the table each night, a mom who washes their clothes, cleans up after their messes, taxies them to and from, cheers them on, bandages and doctors their boo boos, helps mend broken hearts from unforgiving statements made by so called friends.

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I want most of all to leave the impression on them that they are loved, not only by their Mommy and Daddy but by Christ. I want them to love themselves and be confident in who God created them to be. I want them to believe in themselves, their abilities and God given talents and gifts. I want to do this by believing in these truths for myself, loving myself and growing in my relationship with Christ so that his love and truths would flow through me and onto them, living and leading by example.

Your children will learn about your insecurities by the way you talk about yourself In front of them. They will start to believe that because they are your child they automatically will inherit these flaws as well.

I want to tell my daughter that she is perfect in my eyes. She has the best style and the sweetest words on the hardest mommy moment days.

Stay innocent and precious and strong headed. Don’t let the lies of this world tell you aren’t good enough, smart enough, fashionable enough, skinny enough, tall enough, creative enough, strong enough, etc..

You are the perfection of His Creation.

Found on lovelyfestevents.com
Found on lovelyfestevents.com

 

XoXoXoXo

Leigh Leigh

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Back to School CHAOS

Confession Alert! I am a CONTROL FREAK! Ugh, and I absolutely HATE being a “Control Freak!”

My summer time routine is about to come crashing down under a title wave of BACK TO SCHOOL CHAOS! This wave will include two Sons participating in football, one daughter cheering and playing volleyball (fingers crossed), me going back to work, and husband taking on more hours at the office due to a project at work. (Calculate the math and you will soon realize this puts me on side line cheering pretty much every night of the week!) This wave will most definitely crush my awesome summer work out routine as well! BUMMER!! You see we have five children ranging from 15 to a 4 years old. I will be trading in my gym time for football time!

When life shifts, my mind tends to shift as well but not the way it should, actually the opposite. I begin to feel this insane amount of pressure to CONTROL every change that is coming my way, or soften the blow for anything hard coming to mix things up. Yes, I try to makes my chaos controlled, if there was really such a thing possible!

It starts with my obsession over my calendar, marking and highlighting every school holiday, every practice, every game. Not all of the sports schedules are out yet causing more anxiety to the obsession! ha

But I got this!? Why you ask, because silly I am SUPERMOM! (Just kidding, Just kidding!)

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Actually I got this the same way you got this! The way I see it, we are all in the crazy rat race together.

A new school year brings chaos to all families! So I actually can breath in and breath out, knowing that I am not alone in my Crazy Chaos. This, just like every other busy season in my life will soon pass, and I will be looking ahead to new chaos and wondering the same thing I am wondering now,” HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS ALL AND REMAIN STABLE!?”

Let’s start with finding a healthy balance. Priorities are important when trying to achieve this balance. This balance will also however require more self control and discipline.

Instead of focusing on what I think I am going to be losing in the chaos, I need to remember what all I am actually gaining. Memories with my children who will be grown in a blink of an eye. This year is important for my seven year old! Oh my gosh, his first year ever to play football! And to think, I could be raising the next Tim Tebow! The last year with little Kenna at home with Mommy before she starts the BIG World of Public SCHOOL, tear! My step daughter cheering for the very first time! Something that was just a dream what seems like was just a month ago when she was so small, now her reality. My step son, duking it out on the field in hopes to be able to say he plays Varsity as a Sophomore!

Highlights and heartbreaks, achievements and failures, joy and pain!

These are the years that make our children grow and become stronger little people. I don’t know what this Crazy Chaos of a new year will unravel but I know that through much prayer, mercy, and grace, we will get through it and come out better because of it!

I need to stop living life so afraid and so worried I am going to screw something up!!

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Embrace Chaos, the unknown! It changes us, rearranges, and does exactly what the good Lord wills for us all!

 

XoXo

Leigh Leigh