Caught in the Act

Gasp!!

Over the last week I caught myself doing something I shouldn’t have been doing not only once, but twice! Yes, that’s right, guilty as charged!!!! Gasp!

I got caught in the act of apologizing for being Me!

I caught myself pausing after being my authentic goof ball self and stating the obvious, “Oh, sorry my quirky is showing!” Have you ever just got lost in the moment, belted out the lyrics in a silly tone, danced a little goofy doing a jig because something made you excited, and then stopped mid way to regain your normal composure apologizing for having fun and being the you that only comes out when your all alone?

Yeah, we should really stop being afraid of who we are, quirks and all! People we hang with or do life with are not even going to care how corny we act if they truly love us. Maybe if we would stop trying to correct what society defends as normal, we could all be a little more free in our own personality.

Today as I was being my silly inner 10 year old self and paused to tell my husband, “sorry,” he automatically and truthfully asked me why, followed by a statement, “I like it!”

I can only speak for me when I say, the only reason I point out the obvious is out of fear. Fear that when I go off grid and act child like excited about something people are going to judge me. In that moment of pausing and apologizing I am seeking the approval of them to proceed to be vulnerable and uncover what’s under this adult made shell.

A life truly lived in freedom should reflect all areas of our personality to be free! Wouldn’t you agree?

I’m at a point in my life where I want to stop apologizing for actually enjoying myself no matter where I am at or what I am doing.

“For he sows seeds of light within his lovers, and seeds of joy burst forth for the lovers of God!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭97:11‬ ‭TPT‬‬

“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

It’s okay to love yourself enough to be the real you and act goofy! It’s okay to dance silly, or sing off tune, or say off the wall things! Jesus wants us to have a joyful life. Most joyful things will resemble childlike behaviors! If we are called children of God and we believe that, then why are we expected to be so put together and polished? Some of the most beautiful rocks I find have so many shapes, textures, and colors. Polished stones, though different colors, all feel the same.

I think I’m going to try something brave next time. The next time I let myself go and show my true hidden colors, I am not going to apologize or hid behind my “Whoops my crazy is showing,” statements! Maybe my joy will be contagious and just start rubbing off on those around me! Maybe your true joyful self will start rubbing off on others around you as well! 🤪😍🦋

May you grow in God’s grace!

🦋Ash’Leigh Harris

Quarantine and Personality Type Tests

My quarantined heart has been receiving an overhaul the past two weeks!

I did finish my spring cleaning, and managed to escape my mini melt down from my last blog post.  My wheels have been spinning for about two weeks now. That restless feeling has creeped back inside my mind, that one that bullies me into starting a thousand projects because I feel like I must be doing something, anything but sitting still. So, with that being said, I have started about 4 doodle drawings, made beaded bracelets to give away, and I started what is going to be huge granny square crochet blanket. While all these creative outlets are being opened one by one, there is also this desire to write a book or really pursue my writing with my blog. Welcome to the secret life of Me! I am all over the place diving into new projects but never able to finish one. Ha, Look at this blog for example. My heart is to be consistent and really develop a voice, but I lose interest. I have learned through taking a personality type test that I am very FEELINGS driven. If I lose interest or no longer associate happiness with what I am doing, I must then move on and start something else. But I must stop this madness! I must try and attempt to be consistent and finish a project I have started! This will be one of the biggest challenges for me, as it is deeply rooted into the design of my personality type.

I would like to encourage you to at some point this quarantine to take a personality test and start to get to understand what makes you uniquely you! There are many different personality types. I went to http://www.16personalities.com and took a free test. I think these results are interesting because they have been so spot on, however with that said, I don’t believe that just because this test gives in depth information of our personalities we don’t necessarily have to continue to behave this way forever. I would just use the test results as a healthy self evaluation of yourself, and to better understand how others may perceive you. I find it fascinating that God has created us all each unique and one of a kind, and he uses every aspect of our personalities to love those who are in our lives. Think about how boring the world would be if we all looked, acted, felt, processed, thought, loved, and responded to others the same way!

For me learning that my personality type entails believing that I can make this world a better place is a huge validation to this restlessness I was talking about above, and the drive behind it all. I am just wired to always have the need to encourage, help, and fix things and people around me. I now also understand why it hurts me deeply when some people just refuse to let me help them and reject me.

If you find things about your personality type that you don’t like, you can take it to the Lord in prayer and have him walk you through changing whatever it is you don’t like. The Holy Spirit will always guide and reveal things to your heart out of love. If you have trust issues, or control issues, you can take these to the Lord and exchange them with his faith, his love, his control, his safety, his provisions, his guidance, etc.

Just know moving forward when you read my content, it is shaped through the lens of a woman who truly loves people, and truly wants to help encourage you! It is my hearts desire for you that you would be drawn to Jesus and grow deeper in your relationship with him.

❤️ Ash’Leigh Harris

Live a life fully dedicated

Exciting

Journal entry April 15, 2020

These scriptures come from John 17.

Passion Translation Bible.

Jesus dedicated his existence to God to save us! In return we get this awesome opportunity and privilege to dedicate our lives to God as well so that we may lead others to Jesus, the Savior! ✝️👑🔥❤️

Ramblings of a Quarantined Heart

Journal entry: April 13, 2020

Where there is no vision, the people perish; Proverbs 29:18

I have a vision. A vision that overwhelms me!

This reset has had me restless if you will. What should I be reflecting on Lord? What do I need to let go? I keep praying, waiting on the answers.

The thought occurred to me this morning that I am busy, I am so busy, but the reality of this issues is I MAKE MYSELF and KEEP MYSELF Busy ON PURPOSE. I am always searching, always looking, never able to find rest. Do you feel this way?

Let me clarify. I am not even necessarily busy doing things of importance. Busy checking social media, busy occupying my day with things that stimulate me, busy snacking, and busy keeping myself entertained.

So as I look around my home this morning I am starting to feel like I am becoming suffocated because of my business.. My loose ends, my unattractive flaws of always having my hands in something for the sake of feeling in control are officially caving in on me, and I am about to SCREAM!

But I don’t know how to stop!! I don’t know how to not keep my self busy doing things to keep me busy for the sake of it. I do not know how to simply this life I live. I am clueless, I am dumb. I need help!

I need to absorb some grace for this in this season. I need prayer for this vision, and wisdom to be guide.

More to come!

 

Loving the Hard People

Loving those who don’t love us back, is difficult.

The Holy Spirit told me every time you love in a place of hurt and rejection a seed is planted. This seed goes deep into rich soil. The seed starts to germinate out of unselfishness and creates a spectacular botanical garden that begins to expand and flourish.

Those tears that whelp and fall, those tears that scream and cry, “ God help me this hurts and I don’t want to,” those tears of sacrifice water these seeds. These seeds can not be stolen from the enemy because these seeds are watered by obedience, sacrifice, and God’s love and grace for that particular person.

Out of this growth are the most stunning and breath taking flowers which produce the warmest, richest aromas that flow out of our hearts. He explained to me that this garden is his. He put it in each of us. This garden was not man made but God made. It’s a love garden he loves to be in because it’s pure, it’s lovely, and because those flowers and all their beauty were conceived by our obedience, faith, and trust in Him.

We must seek to understand these heart gardens are real and live inside each of us. We can plant anger, jealousy,  bitterness, and out of it gross death, decay, and stinky stench.

This illustration helps me to understand that sacrifice doesn’t just die, it only lives.

Jesus sacrificed his life so we could have eternal life for those who would call upon him to be saved.

You see even though he died, he lives!

Doing what is right will always birth love, kindness, goodness that creates a lasting ripple effect that ripples into our live, and the lives of others continually.

Doing what is wrong conceives death and destruction, this too having a rippling effect that lasts continuously which impacts us and those around us negatively.

So even when when we don’t feel like doing what is right, if we are wise, we will do what is right because each choice we make will have a ripple effect that will produce the power to love and forgive and move on, or stay in bondage to unforgiveness and strife with those around us.

The most beautiful truth is only you are in control of the outcome! 

Ash’Leigh Harris

The Good Shepherd

 

Psalm 23 TPT

David’s poetic praise to God[a]
The Lord is my best friend and my shepherd.[b]
I always have more than enough.
He offers a resting place for me in his luxurious love.[c]
His tracks take me to an oasis of peace, the quiet brook of bliss.[d]
That’s where he restores and revives my life.[e]
He opens before me pathways to God’s pleasure
and leads me along in his footsteps of righteousness[f]
so that I can bring honor to his name.
Lord, even when your path takes me through
the valley of deepest darkness,
fear will never conquer me, for you already have!
You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way.
Your authority is my strength and my peace.[g]
The comfort of your love takes away my fear.
I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.
You become my delicious feast
even when my enemies dare to fight.
You anoint me with the fragrance of your Holy Spirit;[h]
you give me all I can drink of you until my heart overflows.
So why would I fear the future?
For your goodness and love pursue me all the days of my life.
Then afterward, when my life is through,
I’ll return to your glorious presence to be forever with you!

 

This Psalm resonates peace in my spirit in a time of uncertainty. Jesus our Good Shepherd, our Friend. Why Should I fear the Future? For His goodness and love pursues me all the days of my life. ALL the days of my life! Amen!

Shelter in Place

Journal entry 3/26/2020

The World has gone Mad!

Journal entry 3/26/2020

The World has gone Mad, we are experiencing a toilet paper shortage crisis, and Moms and Dads across the country are trying to not lose their ever loving minds and their patience homeschooling their children.

We have been hankered down in our home for almost 2 weeks now. I technically have not been to work, and the children have not attended school for almost 3 weeks now! Our spring break was just about wrapping up, when our School District announced we were not allowed to return until April 6th. I just received a letter this morning that we are now not allowed to return until April 13th. We shall see if this continues to get pushed back or not in a few weeks I suppose!

For documentation purposes I must state the reason our world has been flipped upside down is because of this little nasty virus called COVID-19. When first released in China the media was calling it the Corona Virus, but now we call it COVID-19. There has been speculation that this virus came from a bat. I however believe that this was man made in a lab, and used as a bioweapon to attack the general population of the world!

Maybe in the near future truth will be revealed, until then, I will just keep trucking along doing my part to not spread it.

I have been making good use of my time in worship and prayer, keeping up on the house work and laundry, homeschooling my daughter because my son has outgrown my help with his Middle School education, doodling, reading, taking walks outdoors, sleeping in, working a little from home, enjoying time with my kids at home; think movies, puzzles, games, cooking, etc.

I plan on dropping some pretty cool to me revelations I have received over the past year from the Lord. They are safely stored on my phone, patiently waiting for me to edit and transfer here onto my blog, aka their SPOT LIGHT!

I would love to hear how this historic time in our lives has effected you personally and what you are doing to stay sane not being able to have the freedom to do what you normally would do; work, shop, seek entertainment, etc. Please drop a comment below, and as always, feel free to follow me on instagram @Absorbing_Grace. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Thanks to God for The Year of the Endless Possibilities 2019

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I happen to be off from work so why not blog on how much I am truly thankful to be alive in 2019?

I asked the Lord for a word for this year back in December of 2018 and he told me Endless Possibilities. My BFF, Kathleen, was kind enough to paint it on a little piece of wood so that I could keep my eyes on it for the coming months. I had big dreams, big God Dreams with my art, and I was even planning on starting a coloring book over the summer. I had so many carnal dreams and ambitions. I still long to be able to sell something I create to others. This desire has and will always be a dream of mine.

But, I believe God had better things in store for me. Things that were not in the natural so to speak. Things that can not be bought with man made money, nor sold.  In 2019 he has given me endless possibilities to know him more fully, to trust him steadily, and to seek him in all things. He has called me into a deeper love with him, and he has shaped and molded my beliefs to become more aligned with his word. He has assembled my faith so strong, and he has put me through the fires, so to speak, to teach me to sincerely trust what his word says, and to trust in his faithfulness.

The coloring book did not get a running start, nor did any art hooks ups ever come my way. I did happen to meet an Artist downtown, and I really thought hard about taking an art class. These leads just never seemed to get me walking in the right direction. I had to come into my own and stop comparing myself to others. I had to break free from some lies, self doubts, and insecurities. I had to taste true freedom in discovering my identity in Christ and become who he created me to be. The beautiful things is, I think it takes our whole lives to “become” who he originally created us to be, and that is the beauty of walking with him every day in this life.

Seasons come and seasons go, and as we learn and receive more wisdom and revelation of his love for us, we evolve; we change. I don’t ever want to stay the same, stuck in repetitive patterns of thinking that could be toxic to my soul.

I want grow in grace each year, becoming more and more like my original blue print.

I want to love deeper.

I want to express my love more willingly.

I want to share the love of christ with everyone I meet, and I want my life to be a beautiful dance of worship to the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords, JESUS.

I want to give myself to my gifts and callings, and I want to see his will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

I want to speak the words he gives to me others eloquently and full of faith.

I want to be lead by the Holy Spirit.

I want to be a light that shines bright in a dark place.

I want to see the love of God heal broken people.

I want to see the love of God set people free from bondage.

I want to see the love of God transform people and change their whole trajectory of life.

I want to see generations rise up and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I want to see a church on fire for God.

I want to see mountains be moved in faith.

I want to see hope in the hurting, and I want to see miracles, signs, and wonders follow all of those who truly believe in Him.

There is so much to be done, with such a short time span to be here on this earth to see it come to pass.

So as I sit here and pour my heart out into this post I just sit in awe and I give thanks for all that God has done in my life. I give thanks for the seasons of the hills and the valleys, because they teach me more of how much I need dependency on God and less upon myself and others.

2019 wasn’t a walk in the park. 2019 was a hard year of loving people who do not love me back, and doing for others expecting nothing in return. It was a year of dying to myself, a year of seeking first the kingdom and what God has assigned to me for this time. I trust he will give me all the desires of my heart, until then I will give thanks for all that he has given me in the present, and I will continue to seek him, to love him more, to grow more mature in him. Thank you King Jesus, thank you for loving me, and allowing me access to you and the Father through your Holy Spirit!

Happy Thanksgiving!

-Ash’Leigh Harris

Giving up social media 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ & People who annoy me lately

Errr ummm well… I kinda really been seriously thinking about this. Although I do use my Instagram as a bridge to get to my blog. Idk 😐 just been doing a lot of soul searching lately and realizing that as much as I love having FB and IG apps on my phone they are the constant go-to when I am just sitting idle. Maybe I would actually have more to write about if my nose was not on the phone screen?🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe then would I have time to daydream and imagine? Yes, that actually sounds good. Maybe just delete FB and only have one IG to just post on? Lol, I sound like an addict trying to not have to quit cold turkey. However, with all the self-pity and denial of the thought, I am actually pretty good at quitting things cold turkey 🦃!

On a side note what is on my mind lately… can we talk about how being a Christian in today’s world seems to be so unpopular and demonized? And what’s up with Truth these days? With Truth so completely falsified, it’s ridiculous to even fathom how people are okay with the new norm for our modern society.

Heaven forbid someone new comes to Christ who is famous, has a radical transformation, and now everyone is like watch out for him. First of all, we are to not put our faith in man, but in God himself. If your looking for an actual man leader look to Jesus, he is the only man leader who was an example of his father, God.

We are to support, to encourage, and pray for each other. We will all come into temptation we will all fall short, make mistakes, guys we are humans! It’s the “next” or the “after ” that makes us. God’s grace saves us, friendships protect us, Holy Spirit guides us. We don’t stay down. We repent and move forward walking out God’s grace, mercy, love, kindness, and forgiveness. We may lose our identity temporarily but if you surround yourself with enough Jesus loving friends who love you the same, they will be there to dust you off and help you pray away fear, doubt, depression, and sin. The world says it takes a village to raise a kid. We are God’s children, and we need our own villages to raise us until we are all finally home! Stop listening to the naysayers, stop listening to whoever is on the radio, your social media news feed. Who are they anyway to form your opinions of others? Those calling people hypocrites -are they walking the straight line themselves? Are they being the example? What about the self-righteous people? The religious spirited people, yikes, those are the worst. Who are you letting influence your beliefs and your faith?

Jesus says to love one another period!

❤️-Ash