As a married woman, I am not a fan of feminism

article-0-0601E9A2000005DC-583_468x530

It’s all over the news, let’s face it, it really isn’t anything new. Women wanting to be as superior and respected as much as Men. Equal rights they call them. I am not here to criticize the women who have strong beliefs in Girl POWER, I am however going to speak out in Freedom for women who are married. I don’t like this movement because it gives married women a sense of false security that standing up to their husbands is EMPOWERING and makes them STRONG and COURAGES. Marriage was not designed for the Woman to rule over the man in the relationship.

Naturally, submission is hard for every human on this planet, much less women who have had harsh fathers growing up, or a harsh husband now. Let’s take a look at what the bible teaches us on the topic.

Ephesians 5:22-33 teaches us instructions for the Christian household.

ephesians-5-22-web

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-6  (NIV)

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

What I learn from these scriptures is that I am to trust God with my husbands authority. This “authority” God has given him as your husband is not to be used for selfish gain or dominance over you as a woman in a negative manner. This “authority” should be expressed through love! He can tell you what to do out of love for you and your best interest.

Every decision he makes for you and your family should be made out of love. So don’t be afraid of this, trust this! Believe in your husband and express this belief in him to him. Share with him how excited and thankful you are for his authority in your lives because it brings peace and security to you and your children.

I do have to add that if his authority that he wants you to submit to is bringing harm or danger to you or your children, then this is not the same “Authority” Ephesian’s 5 is describing. Marriage is a “partnership” and it has it’s roles and duties for each member of this partnership to follow.

**Spousal abuse is nothing to take lightly. If you or someone you know is currently being victimized by spousal abuse please seek help asap!

 

ep05_22-23

Men need respect, trust, security, love, support, and peace from their Wife! The world teaches us to not have respect for the male species because they are all liars, and pigs.

I just recently saw how ugly this war is between men and women on another blog post. Now, men are speaking out on the feminist and how they will not waste their time holding doors open for another rude woman. How all women are just nags, untrustworthy, bossy, etc.

Satan is working hard to turn us against each other with all these equal rights fights. It makes sense especially since we learn in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that two are better then one, because they have a good return for their work. Marriages are strong because they have the unity of two people who come together and fight as one flesh against the enemy with help from the power of the Holy Spirit. Women were designed to need loyalty, trust, and security from their husbands to feel loved. Men were designed to be respected, reverenced, and obeyed by their wives to feel loved.

Don’t let feminism make you believe you are not a strong woman because you submit to your husband. TRUST ME, it takes more COURAGE and STRENGTH to die to your prideful self, bite your tongue, and submit to your man, then it is to be rebellious as our sinful natures are! Submission to your husband is a strong act of obedience to Christ who calls us to submit to our husbands authority.

In Proverbs 31 we can see that a woman who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Who is he who can find her? She is far more precious then jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. 

I have to mention also the importance of our obedience to our husband’s submission for our daughters we are raising. She is watching your every move. She adores you, she wants to be just like you some day. Are your actions in your marriage teaching your daughter how to be a feminist or are your actions teaching her how to be a submissive Godly wife to her future husband?

I haven’t reached perfection in completely submitting to my husband’s authority just yet, but I do continue to die to my prideful sinful nature daily and pray that the Lord gives me the love, grace, mercy, discipline, and strength to be a more submissive wife to my Husband’s authority. I know in the end my obedience to my husband will be a blessing to him and pleasing to the Lord, and I most definitely want both!

She is far more precious then jewels and her value is far above rubies or pearls. (That my friends is a description of a beautiful Woman!)

X0Xo

-Leigh Leigh

Follow me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks
 

Overwhelmed Much?

 

I am OVERWHELMED!

I have exactly one week until I turn 29 years old. This number has been a cruel reminder that I have one more year left of my 20s. Why does this freak me out so much? I mean its only 29! Shouldn’t I be going through these motions as a 29 year old fixing to turn 30? Oh well, guess I am a crazy person!?

“Do I suffer from Attention Deficient Disorder or am I just discontent?” I asked my husband late last night while we were talking about hobbies and things we enjoy doing. For giggles, I like to make fun of myselfso I started to go through the list out loud of all the crazy things I have done over the past few years. The joke really was on me when I started actually counting up my silly escapades of things we call “Hobby’s, talents, time fillers.” I laughed it off and dropped it.

The short car ride each morning to take my son to school has become my self reflection outlet. I love to get in the car and drive off into the beautiful sun rise knowing this is the start of a new day. The bright Sunshine brings warmth to my face as I sit at the four way stop waiting on my turn to take a left. I am almost home and whatever I do that day will not begin until the ignition is turned off and I make my way back into my favorite place I call home.

This mornings car ride sparked questions; what is it? Am I discontent Lord, or do I just have a super bad attention problem? I keep searching for that one thing that sets me apart that I love doing. Did you really create us to be good at one thing? I mean there are singers who sing, athletes who play professional sports, artists who paint, teachers who teach, dancers who dance, authors who write best sellers. Why can’t I just find that one thing I find joy in and confidence in?

I have to figure things out, when I can’t it drives me insane. So I did the only thing I know to do when I just can’t seem to put my finger on it I journal. I love how God knows what we are going to ask and when we are going to ask it. My journal time usually becomes a super divine conversation with my maker.

photo 2 (7) journals

I titled todays entry ADD OR DISCONTENTMENT and then I made a list of everything new I have tried in the last four to five years. I will just stop and say, I am a little embarrassed to share this with you because you will really think I am a CRAZY if you don’t already! 😉 Each item listed was going to be “MY THING,” you know that one thing you do all the time because you love it and you are good at it! I have only stuck with two of them which are in italics. I do however hope that the blogging becomes permanent!

  • Working out
  • Hair bows
  • Handmade get well cards/birthday box
  • Crochet (self taught by YouTube videos)
  • Journaling
  • Blogging
  • Mums
  • Hand made jewelry
  • Organizer binds for house chores
  • Flower Garden
  • Fondant cake making

 

 

bdaybox

photo 3 (4)

 

photo 2 (6)

 

photo 1 (6)

 

I then brainstormed what I loved to do when I was younger. I use to love making collages out of magazine clippings. I would love to redecorate and rearrange my room over and over and over again. I was beginning to make a connection. My 20s looks a lot like a collage of things I would have made when I was a teenager. I had collaged and collected all my interests and all I had left was a big mess of everything running together to create a blob of massive proportions: dollars lost, over flowing bags of ribbon, cardstock, glue sticks, and yarn taking over a closet in my house!

It wasn’t until ran out of lines to see the scripture that was printed on my journal page at the bottom.

The journal I am currently using was a Mother’s Day gift from my Husband and children a year ago. I LOVE this journal because on every other page there is a scripture posted at the bottom.  It is no surprise to me that the answer I was looking for would be starring right at me on todays blank sheet!

“Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Colossians 3:17

OH MY WORD!!!!” Whatever you do,” it didn’t say the “ONE thing you do.” I was instantly hooked and reeled in on the word “whatever.” I knew if I dug a little deeper in scripture I would find what I was searching for. I proceeded to grab for my LIFE Handbook, my Bible, and I read over Colossians and 1 Timothy 6.

I kept staring at my list, there were so many things on this list in such a short amount of time in my life. Why so many? I then remembered how creative our Creator is. I mean stop and think about the variety we have on this planet; people, food, animals, plants, the colors each night of the sky as the sun is setting. He has created so many things and they all bring glory back to himself. I began to ponder if God has so much variety with us here on planet earth what is really the matter with having so many things on this paper? Maybe he doesn’t want us to limit ourselves to just one thing!? I closed my journal and read some more. 1 Timothy 6:6 says that” Godliness with contentment is great gain.” I knew I had let my imagination run off course and I was brought back with this truth.

I should not be too concerned about what makes me happy or wasting time comparing myself to other women’s talents, hobbies, gifts.

 I should be more concerned about how the desires, talents , and gifts God has given to me bring benefits to others not myself.

After all, My life really isn’t my own.

When you put verses 23 and 24 together in Colossians 3 you will realize that it all comes back to being a servant of Christ.

23″ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

If your suffer from crazy ADD or DS (discontentment disorder), such as myself, make a list of all your crazy endeavors and then examine the motives behind each one and label that motive beside the item. Do they benefit just you, just others, or both? My motive list included attention, pride, and ways to make money. (Ouch) These things I can mark off. I can come back to them later in life when my motives are no longer one of the three previously stated. 😉 What brings joy or encouragement to others? Those things, you should keep!

This morning I found contentment in this truth; I am a servant of the Lord, and “whatever” I choose to do with my free time be it a hobby or just for fun, I should focus on my motives behind it, and if it doesn’t give thanks to the Lord and it doesn’t benefit others, I am wasting my time, energy, and focus on it. I need to drop it and let it go. This gives me freedom from being OVERWHELMED!!!!

Being mindful to be a blessing to others will bless you as well.

I have a new outlook on my hobby list and my condition. I do not suffer from ADD, but I do suffer from discontentment because nothing Godly was gained in my pathetic attempts to chase after things that did not bring any satisfaction to anyone else but myself.

I feel confident that I can now bring my focus back on to others while I am enjoying things that I love to do! Contentment is a BEAUTIFUL thing!

Be Beautiful-

Leigh Leigh

 

 

BEWARE…Trap straight ahead

Yes you can count on it! If you start to become self centered or self absorbed, you will fall into the trap of SELF PITY!

trap

The Self pity trap, we have all been there and been caught in that! Well, at least I know I have been. It’s actually quiet embarrassing to admit when we are snatched up in it, but thankfully I realized today that I had fallen and I needed some help getting out! I can’t even believe I let myself fall into it in the first place. Self pity doesn’t tend to be a little hole, nope its usually more like a gigantic crater we get stuck in and we never know for sure how to get out of it because its so big and monstrous in size we don’t realize we fell in to begin with.

Let me be a little more specific. It all happened about a few weeks ago. Well let’s back up to Easter. I was on a really good work out regimen, I was very strict with my eating and the inches were falling off. I was running daily and felt very good.  My husband took a leave of absence from his job, and I started back full time at my part time job. My life was completely thrown out of my regular routine and it completely through me for a loop! I lost my motivation to stick to my diet, I lost my self control, I lost my discipline! I did however continue to work out as much as I could! The scale started going up, and my self esteem started crashing down. My jeans felt a little more snug. I also have a extremely bad habit of stress eating. I was stressing because I was trying to juggle it all with he husband home. Who knows how much stuff really gets completed when the husband is home!?  Yeah, that is right, nothing!! 🙂 I am not complaining though, I have loved every extra minuet I have spent with him over the last month!

 

Stop

 

The words coming out of my mouth were harsh and criticizing about myself, and I had finally had ENOUGH of my own self. I’m sharing this all with you to help you dig yourself out of the hole you might have accidentally fallen into as well! So here we go. Let’s dig out together!

 

 

hole

 

 

Tips to climb out of the monster hole of SELF PITY:

  1. Take a moment to put YOURSELF in CHECK!!! It sounds a little something like this, “Girl I don’t know who you think you are, but seriously, you really need to get over yourself! All we have thought about lately is you, you, you. I look fat, I don’t feel good, I am a loser for quitting, I always quit, I just can’t do anything right, I have no self control, whaa, whaa, whaa!” Repeat after me, “THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ME !”
  2. Have a come to Jesus talk. When I have a come to Jesus talk mine start off like this, “Dear Lord, please forgive me for being so negative and critical of myself lately. I know it has turned into self pity and I know that you do not want me stuck in that self destructive mind set….etc…” Talk to Jesus and let him know that you are struggling right now and that you need his help. Self control is a fruit of the spirit, just start watering that seed that you already have inside your soul! You are not a loser, you are a child of the ALL MIGHTY and everything he makes is GOOD! Confess out loud that you are an overcomer and you will rise above this self centeredness, self doubt, and self pity. Remember you can do all things through Christ who gives your strength. (Confess that out loud as well.)
  3. Forgive yourself and move forward. I may have skipped out on morning runs and made choices to eat everything in sight, but it stops right now. I am consciously aware that I have a self centered problem which leads to self pity and I will not be stuck in that mind set any second longer.
  4. Don’t forget self pity is a trap that Satan uses to keep you down and insecure which makes you powerless and useless in God’s Kingdom. You do not have to be insecure, because you are a child of God and you do have the power given to you by the Holy Spirit to say, “Get the behind me Satan your sorry lies will not take up residence in my mind any longer!”

Psalm 51:12 ESV

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

 

Self pity steals your beauty and it starts to make you ugly, but it starts from the inside and transfers it’s way to the outside. Joy will come back to you if you are willing to dig yourself out!

DON’T LET YOUR BEAUTY GET STOLEN!!! 😉

 

BIG HUGS,

Leigh Leigh

 

Like me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks

Confession of a tattoo sleeved Mom

tattoo Mom, Peacock sleeve, tattoo

I confess that I was really afraid to become a sleeved Momma!

I would like to think that when you have your first child your identity of yourself transforms into one huge bubble that separates itself into two halves, the identity of yourself and the identity of their Mother.

Deciding on a tattoo sleeve took me a good two years. First I had to come up with a design , and second I had to really be for sure I really wanted to commit to permanent skin art for the rest of my life.

I remember all the areas of judgment I would struggle with every time I seriously thought about the consequences of my decision. My first initial struggle was what will my family think? I grew up in a small town in Texas where any tattoo any where was looked upon in a negative manner. I quickly put aside this fear. After all I was a grown woman! The Harsh judgments of other women, men, friends, people I knew, and strangers. I worried about my witness to others in my walk of faith. I read through my bible and discovered a few scriptures that gave me peace. I know in my heart that God doesn’t judge the outward appearance but the heart of a man/woman. I prayed about my wants and desires several times. I began to believe that if the art itself wasn’t leading someone to the evil dark side, then it would just be beautiful art on my body. Obviously being  mature in my faith and getting a pitchfork and the words “born to raise hell” tattooed on my body would definitely be a stumbling long block to a new believer. It would also go against every fiber of my character as a woman after God’s on heart. ❤

For me the most difficult struggle that seemed to be the hardest to just overcome was my children.
What would they think?
Would I be an embarrassment to them?
Would their friends parents misjudge me and then not allow their kids to hang out with mine?
This was a hard pill to swallow and I really tried to patiently deal and come to grips with all these insecurities I had about becoming a sleeved Mom.  (Now I do have to interject here that my husband has a sleeve on his right arm and has had it since our son was about 3 years old.)

More months went by and more time was spent on making a decision. I finally realized that I really did want this tattoo sleeve for me. I had my reasons and meaning behind the sleeve design, which is of a beautiful peacock. I knew I had to do this now or I would regret it later in life. So I talked it over with my children. I wanted to hear their thoughts and let them know that their opinions did mater to me. The decision was finally made and the first appointment was booked!

For me personally this sleeve represents the beauty of FREEDOM! More importantly for me, the freedom I receive in Christ by his abundant mercy, grace, and love. I am free to be me and you are free to be you. I also like to think of it as being an example to my children to be free and be strong, stand up for what you believe in, and just simply be who you are. Don’t settle, don’t mock, don’t be a copy, BE AN ORIGINAL!

It may not be as drastic as a huge tattoo for you, but whatever piece of you that is just screaming to come out of inside the MOM shell you hold together so well, embrace it and let it shine through the Mom shell. Trust me you are doing yourself, your children, your spouse no favor by holding back who you are in the other half of that identity bubble. You are cheating them out of a wonderful, creative, fun MOM and wife!! We are all way too harsh and critical of ourselves. We hide behind those FEARS of cruel and harsh judgments we think other woman are thinking about us. I bet you that there are a lot of women out there who hold back just because of these fears, which are just false evidence appearing real. Who cares anyways what others think?

What better day, then on Mother’s Day to reflect on your MOM bubble and figure out how to pop the line of separation of being you, and being their mom! BE you, Be BEAUTIFUL!

 

Peacock sleeve tattoo

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I did explain to my children after each ink session how much it hurts and that they really do not need to consider getting ink until they are almost 30 ;0) if that is something they choose to do!!!

Peacock sleeve

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
xOxO

LeighLeigh

 

Like me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks,  or follow me on twitter @ash_leighharris

Body after baby…

Motherhood came quickly for me. I was 20 years old when I said, “I do” to my dear husband almost 9 years ago.  I became instamom and we became an instafamily. Being that young and entering into the whole momma role I decided I didn’t want to wait to have our children. I was 21 when we welcomed my now 7 year old son, and I was 24 when we welcomed my now 4 year old daughter.

In high school I could not gain weight to save my life. I was extremely skinny. Would I give anything now to have that metabolism. My husband says it all the time, “Youth is wasted on the young!” Ha Boy is he never lying. I never was one to work out or even consider myself a gym person. In high school I participated in the athletics program. So whatever the coaches had planned for our daily regimen, I did. That was the extent of my athleticism. Looking back now at old pictures, it’s hard to remember who I was back then. I had gained a lot of weight with each one of my babies. I was the nerd who believed you should eat for two and so I did. I went from 135-170lbs! Nursing them both always sucked the weight off very quickly after my pregnancies, but my body would never be the same in my eyes, and I became depressed.

Here is ME about to pop November 2009.

photo 1 (1) photo (4)

 

My dear husband joined a local gym when we moved and got settled into our new town. He worked out during both of my pregnancies. So as I got bigger, he got buffer! :0) I am not sure how exactly he talked me into going to the  gym with him, but he did. I started working out, (weight training) religiously after my baby girl turned 6 months old. I will most definitely blog about the benefits of working out with your spouse another time. I haven’t looked back since then, and I don’t ever plan on it. I  began to discover who I wanted to be through working out and making healthy eating choices. I was taking back my identity and I happened to really enjoy myself. We should all strive to be our own best friend because lets just face it, we can never escape ourselves. There is no other self gratifying feeling then to watch your body change because of the hard work , healthy choices, time, dedication, You invested in yourself.

I’m not suggesting that you take this to the extreme and become obsessed with yourself or start thinking all high and mighty about how you are better then others. Absolutely not! But taking the time to love yourself for who you are, the person whom God created , and what you want to become will challenge you. It will shape you and it will mold you into a better person.

Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27

I think this is a huge piece of the puzzle to that very important command. (as you love yourself)

How much you love yourself will reflect on how much you love others! WOW I believe having a positive and healthy self image is extremely important as well. Just on that point alone I could blog for a hours, but I wont today. I will save all these other important beliefs in upcoming blogs.

Instead, I will leave you with this question, how are you loving yourself today?

Are you saying kind things about yourself or constantly tearing yourself down with your own ugly words of criticism? Remember how you are loving yourself should be the same way you are loving others! I lost sight of loving myself after raising my small babies. Don’t let motherhood hold you back from working out and reaching personal goals. You don’t have to do it by yourself either. Include your spouse and your littles!

xOxO

Leigh Leigh

 

Like me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks

*gotta love those bathroom selfies 😉

photo 1 (2) photo (5)