Wrestling with God, the devil, and Myself

It has come to my mind lately that I have trust issues. MAJOR trust issues, and what is worse is that they are with God.

It seems unusual to me that I can trust him completely with out one ounce of hesitation with my eternal salvation, but I can’t seem to trust him with the every day pop up drama’s in my life. Remember those pesky late 90s internet pop ups? 🙂 That is how I imagine drama bubbles must appear sneaking up at odd and unwarranted times in my ordinary day!

I am wrestling with God. I say that I trust God, and I try so very hard to let him be my BFF with life’s issues. I pray when I feel drama sneaking up, and I pray that he will put a watch over my mouth lest I sin against him, but the second one of my friends ask me how is it going…my tongue over takes my self control and all my words come spewing out, one ugly mess and now my secrets that were suppose to be Gods only, are now her ears entertainment. Why!!? WhY!?? It’s a tug of war with my heart. One moment I am giving him totally control, the next I am yanking it back as fast as I handed it over, with out one thought as to what I am doing.

I am wrestling with the devil. He knows my weaknesses and I have told him several times on several occasions he will not get the best of me! I have rebuked and yelled at him, all in Jesus name, only to fall flat on my face in anger and defeat. I know he is the liar in my ear, he is the smoke behind the curtains, disillusioning my eyes, my mind with his master manipulating schemes. It is an every day battle trying to cast down those lies and set my thoughts on things above. It is exhausting.

I wrestle with myself. I know that I am loved and given grace but when I mess up, I take it really personal. I know that my heart is better then the way I react. I know that even though I can be mean and ugly back, that is really not my character. I wrestle with forgiving myself for having to ask for forgiveness for not trusting God, not keeping our secrets just ours. I wrestle with not giving up, and not continuing to run my race set before me. I am not a quitter I tell myself, and God really knows my heart, what my real problem is, just give it to him I remind myself. He is always quick to forgive when I ask for forgiveness, and I am sure there will be another opportunity to try it the right way, next time drama hits my heart. I wrestle with doing what is right and doing what is wrong, knowing the difference and acting out in anger anyways. Sometimes I feel like less of a person for keeping quiet. I feel like people think I am a push over. It feels empowering in that moment when I am finally taking up for myself, but unfortunately that feeling dissipates too quickly, and then I worry they think I am one of those uncaring loud mouth women! Oh how I wrestle with myself!

So as I sit her tonight, my heart heavy with wrestling these scriptures lay heavy on my heart.

I wonder if there is anyone else out there who feels the same way I do, if so I hope you can decide to do what I am willing to do, and that is lay all my burdens, my energy in wrestling and fighting with God, the devil, and myself at the feet of Jesus and mediate on these two scriptures:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (emphasis on TRUST)

and

But you will not even need to fight. Take you positions l then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you! 2 Chronicles 20:17 (emphasis on STAND STILL, THE LORD IS WITH YOU)

May God’s Grace be upon you,

Leigh Leigh

Break my Heart

I am feeling bipolar and a bit lost these days.

I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out how I am going to spend my summer vacation. (Sounds bratty right?) I am so blessed to even have a summer vacation! I wanted it to be productive and meaningful.

I wanted to take my blog to a new level. I wanted to start crocheting on the side for a possible Etsy shop. I keep wrestling in my mind as if I am trying to figure out WHAT it is. Why am I so discontent lately? Why am I constantly trying find something out there to achieve? To be honest I am frustrated, I am restless, and I am puzzled.

I had a vision for this blog to be an ENCOURAGEMENT to others, and quite frankly I feel as if I am the one in need of encouragement.

I literally had this conversation with my husband last night, pillow talk before we shut our eyes, about how I feel like something is just missing. I want to achieve this whatever it is I can’t seem to see clearly. This desire in my heart for something that I haven’t a clue what it even is. I have been praying about this feeling for over a month now.

I pray and I ask God and I try to be content on waiting….

I pray and I wait…

I pray and I wait….

Today our Summer Women’s Bible study started up. YEA! I love Women’s Summer Bible Study! This year we are Studying Kelly Minster’s Nehemiah- A Heart that can break.

Right out of the first video Session I hear lady giving her story about how she prayed to God to give her a tender heart so that she could love like Jesus, and she felt overwhelmed with compassion to help this village in the Amazon that she would pass as she gave tour guides. She told us she prayed for compassion for others. I could feel my heart fill up and my throat become tight when she said that if you are feeling discontent with life, help others. There it was plain as day, the answer I had been praying for. She said,” Get back to Jesus! Go to him with a humble heart asking him what you should do. Here I am God to do the best for you. God will open the door, He will direct your path. You ARE ENOUGH! Blessed are those who serve.”

I couldn’t help but hold back my tears, reminding myself to KEEP IT TOGETHER MAN! I am not much for public crying.

To gain composer I glanced at the older women sitting at the table in front of us. They were just as filled up with encouragement at that moment as I was. I don’t want to be super old on this journey here before I really make my mind up to live for others. This life really isn’t about me. The reality is THIS LIFE ISN’T ABOUT ME! God is real and we do have a duty, a reason we are all here on Earth. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and to love others like he does while we wait for him to come back. He is coming back. That is the reality.

He is coming back…that is the reality.

When I put this in perspective everything else I am chasing that isn’t for him doesn’t matter.

So then What God, who have you put in my heart to help? What will break my heart the way it breaks yours.

I really feel vulnerable for even sharing such intimate thoughts. I usually just journal this and keep it to myself, but I can’t help but wonder if there is someone else out there that is feeling this discontentment, this arrival of something big, but you can’t put your finger it.

I want to encourage you to pray and wait…pray and wait. Ask God to give you a compassionate heart for others, and then ask him to direct you to the right people to help. Keep your faith. Be patient. Now that I know for sure what it is, I will be diligently praying for revelation, compassion, and a tender heart that can break. I will also be praying for God to examine my heart and point out the cold parts so that I can warm those back up!

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As always I would love to hear what you have to say! Please feel free to comment!

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

Get out of the way fear

PASSION NEVER DIES! FEAR JUST GETS IN THE WAY!

I for one HATE feeling FEARFUL! Fear for me would be failure, or worse wasting my time, my life, my years on something that fails.

I find it amazing that no mater how fearful I get, the fear never kills my passion, my drive, my love for something, it just makes me hesitant, afraid to pursue, and afraid to be brave or courageous enough to see it through.

What if we ignore fear? What if we tell those heavy fear frightening feelings to take a hike? What if everyone actually lived up to their own potential?

I can’t help today but to think about a life lived without fear! How would we live each day differently?

When I am left with a huge obstacle standing in my way I go to the scriptures of the Bible to find the answers. When you search fear over and over you will read…”fear not”, “do not be afraid”, “I am with you”, “I will not leave you, nor forsake you”, “Peace I give you”, “be strong”, “be courageous”, “trust me”. I find it fascinating that God is asking us to not be afraid. It has to be a very conscious effort on our own part to not allow fear to over take us. Sure we can pray and ask God to help us to not be afraid, and of course he will, but we must first take the first step out in faith trusting in him that he will always have our back, and not shrink back and become paralyzed in our own fear.

So let’s go forward and even if we are still feeling afraid, be bold enough and brave enough to do what ever it is that scares the day lights out of us, knowing God is with us every step of the way helping us push through that fear!

strong, brave, bold, fear not

Leigh Leigh

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Afraid/Hopeless/Selfish, It’s never too late to Change

 

*Please pardon my absence! We are now T minus 3 days from being out of Preschool! I will have one week to maintain order in my home before the children are out of school for summer!
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I sit here in a reminiscing mood. I don’t think I have shared with you the inspiration for this blog. Have you heard of a music group called For King & Country? They released a song on the radio last year called Fix my Eyes. Every time I would hear the words “Fight for the weak ones, Speak out for Freedom” my heart would beat fast and hard. There was a passion growing inside of my heart to share with others the love of Christ. I am just yet one voice of millions, billions, and if you know me personally a very soft-spoken voice at that, so it would only make sense that I would write and not speak out loud! Amazingly enough God doesn’t care how loud or quiet we are he can still speak through us all.

Let me share the Chorus so you can see what I am talking about:

I’d Love like I’m not scared
Give when it’s not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix my eyes on You
On You

Today as I am reflecting on the words of this song I can’t help but feel insecure. My blog tends to be an accountability for me. It helps hold me accountable to living a healthy life style from the inside out! It would not benefit you or me the least bit if I didn’t live out the topics and advice I give here on this blog!

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I can get my feathers ruffled in a jiffy, I can have the don’t want to’s to get up and go work out, and there are days I don’t pick up my Bible.. I am so far from perfect it is pathetic, and sharing my walk with Jesus makes me feel vulnerable of harsh judgments. These feelings also make me hesitant to continue to write.

The truth is………..sometimes…………some days……

To love like I am not scared seems impossible. I am scared! I am scared that I am going to get hurt! I am scared that someone will take advantage of me or worse not accept my love as true or genuine.

Give when it’s not fair.. how many times have I shouted out loud, this isn’t fair!!!! How many times have I been angry, while smiling and bearing that big fake grin, trying to convince myself that as a women of faith I’m doing the right thing, the “Christian” thing by trying to be my friendliest! Meanwhile I am not taking the root problem to God so he can do a work in my heart, which is breeding resentment, anger, and lots worse.

Live life for another, take time for a brother… there are days I am pumped to be a blessing to someone, but I would be lying to you if I told you I never have days where I would rather lock myself in my bedroom and watch chick flicks on Netflix all day! There are days where I wish I could rush motherhood, rush work, rush life, etc.

Fight for the weak ones, speak out for freedom….how many times have I gone mute in a situation I should have been courageous enough to take a stand for someone who was too afraid to speak up for themselves! How many times have I been too afraid to stand up for myself! Those moments leave me empty inside. How many opportunities have I wasted sharing the gospel with a stranger, a friend?

Find faith in the battle…the battles that come in short spurts, or torrential downpours in my every day life. I have to admit some days I lose hope in battles I have been fighting while praying for grace to get me through. I doubt in faith when I need it the most. Why? I don’t know why! I think it has something to do with being human. Battles of being a Mom, a friend, a co-worker. I find my biggest battles usually are the ones I wage within myself in my mind. Am I doing this whole Jesus loving thing right? Am I being a light in a dark place? Salt in the world?

And the worst part of it all is some days I don’t have my eyes fixed on Jesus, I have my eyes fixed on other things like worrying about drama, attractions this world offers us, or just distractions that show up and stay a while.

Just thinking about how imperfect I am leaves me craving his love and grace more. Knowing that He knows I am imperfect , but still chose to die for me so that I would be covered in his grace, forgiveness, and love makes me love Him more. On my worst days, He still loves me the same!

We are all imperfect, no matter what calling we have on our lives. Everyone just have bad days here and there. Everyone falls short of his glory,  but everyone can still receive his forgiveness in the areas we fall short in, and everyone can receive Christ power to over come any obstacle they are facing on any given day!

So today I admit my short comings, my distractions, my desires of wanting my own control and my own way in life.

I don’t have it all together, but I know and have the One who knows how to keep me all together, and His grace is sufficient for me!

If you listen to all the words of Fix my Eyes, you learn that the song is about going back to a younger version of yourself and living a more selfless and brave life! It is never to late for you or for me to …

Love like WE ARE not scared
Give when it’s not fair
Live life for another
Take time for a brother
Fight for the weak ones
Speak out for freedom
Find faith in the battle
Stand tall but above it all
Fix OUR eyes on CHRIST

I challenge you on this Monday to live Fearlessly, Recklessly, and Radically for Christ!

 

Here is the song on Youtube!

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Hugs,

Leigh Leigh

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Secret way to Release Unforgiveness

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“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” Margaret Stunt

If you are breathing, there is someone you have encountered in your life that has offended you. Forgiveness is one of most powerful weapons I believe Jesus gave us. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be kind to each other, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven us. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.”

If you are breathing, there is someone you have encountered in your life that you have offended. We need people to forgive us just as much as we need to forgive them.

Unforgivness harbors ANGER, BITTERNESS, HATE,  and RESENTMENT. These are very dangerous to our hearts as they produce unrighteousness. James 1:20 tells us that Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. It will fester in your heart. It will become this ugly monster and the more you replay the offense over and over in your mind, the bigger the monster grows. It continues to grow until it consumes you! It consumes your thoughts, your actions, your conversations, and it steals you happiness and joy! Unforgivness really is poison!

God promises that if we will just trust him, he will avenge his children. Romans 12:19 “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” I know this is easier to be said then done. I know we want instant gratification to our flesh. We want them to feel as horrible as we do in the instance the offense is made against us.

Unforgivness is a THIEF! IT steals from you!

So today I would like to share with you a little secret of mine! It’s my secret way I release unforgivness to offenses made against me. I am a tangible type of girl. I like to touch and feel things. When you think about anger you may think violence. I like to release my emotions in motion for the most part. ( Best stress release is running and working out!) That is just what “feels” good to me. So when I discovered I could make my offenses tangible and them tear them apart to shreds, it turned my intangible hurts into tangible things! Stay with me now, as I try to explain this.

It is not all about just tearing paper apart it is about seeking the Lord in prayer first!

It is about freeing myself from anger and putting into action my faith that Jesus will take care of me. With every tear, I am experessing my trust and obedience to him. He is a healer. He knows us better than we even know our ownself and he hurts when we are hurting. If you have a hard time believing this and you are a parent, then just think about how you feel when someone messes with your child? Does the word Anger strike a chord? We are God’s children, he cares about what people do to us. He promises to take care of them one way or the other in his time. He knowing all, knows the best way to handle them as well! When we act out in anger we end up just getting into trouble. We pay evil for evil and nothing good ever comes out of the situation.

HOW TO RELEASE UNFORGIVENESS (pursuing peace)

#1 Go to the Lord in Prayer. Be honest with him. Let him know you are very hurt but you don’t want to stay that way. Ask him to heal your brokenness. Ask him to have the ability to forgive like he forgives and love like he loves. If you are a child of God, you have this ability in you, through the Holy Spirit that is living inside of you.

#2 Write the offense (offenses) down on paper.

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#3 Say out loud (The offender’s name) I forgive you for (what you wrote down on the paper).

#4 TEAR up the paper and let the anger, resentment, and hurt go……yup….drop it, and release its poison from your heart.

tearit up

#5 Throw your pieces in the trash, and forget about it.

#6 If you really, really, really want to make the DEVIL mad for trying to trip you up on that unforgivness poison, then go out and bless that offender some how! (mind blown)

OVER COME EVIL WITH GOOD! Romans 12:21

When the devil tries to bring back up the offense, and it tries to sneak back into your heart, make sure that you remind yourself that you have already burned that bridge, and pray for strength to not fall back into temptation of unforgiveness.

To be honest there may be times where you are having to do this regularly with a particular individual in your life. Just know that your diligence to keep strife out of your life and peace in your heart will not go unrewarded. Pray for this person. Pray for peace in that relationship. Sometimes we just have to move on and not allow ourselves to continue to be in their line of fire of offenses. If it becomes habitual you may just have to tell yourself that the problem is deep-rooted in them, so stop taking it personal! When we give our hurts over to God and let him heal us and take care of the offender for us, we can have peace and it keeps us from getting ourselves in trouble, which breads self-guilt and self-condemnation.

Maybe today you just need to forgive yourself? You hold the power to what takes roots in your own heart. Guilt and condemnation only make us weak and bring us into more sin

Remember 1 Peter 3:11 STOP THE CYCLE TODAY of STRIFE and PURSUE PEACE!

Love yourself enough to stop taking the toxic unforgiveness poison!

A great book to read on forgiveness is Joyce Meyer’s book Do Yourself a Favor …. Forgive! It’s on Ibooks and Amazon. My computer is not allowing me to copy and paste the link. I will try and plus this up later.

XOXO

Leigh Leigh

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Pride comes before the fall

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Day 5

God is steadfast and very patient with us all. He is always waiting on us to admit we are sinners who need a savior, for those who are lost and wandering. It is easy to get a prideful spirit even as a born again Christian. There is good news for us though! When pride whelps up inside of us,  we can always go to the Father and ask for his forgiveness and he will forgive us. We must not think we are too good for reproach, or punishment. We reap what we sow. So if we reap a harvest of pride, we will be sure to sow a fall.

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We should not think we are too good to get our little spiritual behinds spanked! The Lord, like an earthly father will discipline his children as he sees fit. He has every right too as well.

You are reading Leigh Leigh’s 40 Days of Scripture. Start on Day 1, God knows all the answers to our questions, to get caught up HERE!

*humble photo credit-pinterest find

XOXO

Leigh Leigh

God knows all the Answers to Our Questions

 

Day 1

Immediately after I opened my eyes this morning at a chilly 6:00am, (Texas time) my alarm clock begging me for the third time now to start my day, I reached over for my iPhone and opened the BIBLE app.

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I decided in that moment I would go ahead and dive into the whole chapter. Upon completion of reading the whole chapter I decided I would commit my next 40 days with my Blog to speak truth, God’s truth with you, my awesome readers! I am still working out, and will eventually figure out how to share that side of me in future blog posts, but this 40 Days of Scripture will be categorized under A New Life in the Scriptures on my Blog.

I want to start with Proverbs 16. I urge you to read the whole chapter for yourself and encourage you to do a little studying on your own.

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It can be used and applied to your every day life no mater where you are on your journey.

“We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer.” Proverbs 16 Verse 1

We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer. (Hmmm I don’t remember asking for his answer, it’s my life, my plans.) I have to admit when I read scriptures some days I feel like I am just staring at the words. I know they are suppose to make sense in some form or fashion, but I am blank.  I began to mediate on it and let my mind imagine, I use context clues to gather more information from surrounding verses and then I pray that the Holy spirit would give me revelation, and knowledge. We can ask for that you know! 😉

If you switch over to the Message interpretation of this Proverb it’s titled is Everything with a Place and a Purpose.

So when I read we can make our own plans, I am assuming God is including EVERY HUMAN.

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In Deuteronomy 30:15-19 God lets us Humans in on a little secret. We are FREE to make our own choice! What!!? That is awesome! We have  a loving God who would never want to FORCE himself on us or our lives, but He ultimately knows that through salvation through his son Jesus, He is the ultimate way to a real true honest life of Freedom.

God specifically specifies our choices… LIFE….or DEATH!

Life- Eternity with God.

Death- Eternal Separation from God.

“…but the LORD gives the right answers.” Proverbs 16:1

I love that this verse is the first scripture in this chapter because automatically I can see how it can be valid as a Compass for our whole lives from start to finish, but it can also be used as a compass for a particular present season in our every day life.

He is ultimately advising us to SEEK HIM FIRST. Like a compassionate Father He is inviting us to run to him with our questions so that He can answer them.

We can make our own plans yes.. we can choose LIFE or we can choose DEATH, but he is reminding us to have confidence in Him to trust that ultimately He has the right answers.

To choose LIFE would be to seek salvation through his son Jesus Christ.

To choose DEATH would be to live a prideful life believing there is no God, no Jesus, no faith, no hope, no salvation through Jesus, or maybe even turning your back on God.

Now lets bounce back to the present. Maybe you really despise your job and you really want to quit, you know deep down inside you should stay, you have a feeling that you need to stick it out. You always have the choice to quit, or you could go to the Lord in prayer and ask him which way you should turn. Should you stay, should you go? Maybe he has you there to learn a lesson, or maybe he has you there to be a blessing. Either way when He is involved and you are choosing to follow him He will work it all out for your greater good.

“We can make our own plans, but the LORD gives the right answer.” Proverbs 16 Verse 1

 

Where are you at on your journey of faith? Have you decided to make your own plans without first seeking his knowledge, his will for your life right now? Do you know Christ? Do you know your freedoms of being a Child of God?

READ HERE if you are still on the fence about this whole Jesus, God, Faith thing people talk about.

Day 2 HERE

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

Learn more about Leigh Leigh HERE. Please follow my blog and join in on the fun at FACEBOOK HERE, or follow Leigh Leigh Speaks on Twitter HERE!

We are guilty of trying to become someone we are not

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

 I have been so thrilled and eager to sit down to write this blog post.  The joy and the excitement has been jumping around in my heart like a million Mexican Jumping Beans!

Here recently I keep getting this magnificiant push, this hard drive to write about how SPECIAL YOU ARE!

I love to work out, I love to encourage other women on their weight loss journeys, however I don’t frown upon those who are just not interested in the same things I enjoy. Maybe you love the fashion world, you eat, breath, and sleep the latest fashions. Maybe you are into Make up and Hair, body building, dancing, cycling, swimming, reading, writing, hiking, sewing, crafting, budget shopping? The list goes on as to what really captivates us!

Maybe you truly are happy with who you are inside and out, or maybe you are in a season of your life where you are struggling to find out who you are. You question things, you question your own heart, motives, drives, etc..

I know I went through a season in my early 20s after I had my two children. I had completely lost my identity some where in between all the mom titles I was carrying. I lost my confidence in who I was and I was just clueless on who God had called me to be. That place is a dark and scary place to be. If you my friend are in this season I want you to know that there is a brilliant bright light at the end of the tunnel for you! Embrace the unknown to educate yourself on who God has called you to be and then dig down deep inside to rediscover who you are, who you want to be, and then my friend grow your faith and let yourself be you!

Don’t ever get carried away with trying to “fit in” that you forget that you were made to “Stand Out!”

It is so easy these days with all the Woman/Mom/Wife comparisons in the World. We are judged from our choice of clothes to the brand of water we choose to drink. It’s absolutely ridicules and actually brilliantly calculated by the Devil to cause divisions amongst us women to separate us from each other on stupid things that are not eternal or relevant to who we are on the inside.

I am pretty sure God doesn’t care if you want to use a cloth diaper on your baby or a disposable one. However, I know he cares about your heart and your intentions. If this choice brings God glory by recycling and keeping the earth clean, and this is why you chose to do it because in your heart you are convicted too and not because you don’t want others to judge you, or your afraid of their opinions, their acceptance to fit into their particular group, I say cloth on my dear!

Confession alert!! I will just tattle on myself now so you know I am not pointing fingers or picking on cloth diaper moms! The cloth diaper is just an easy example that popped into my mind first. I used to be a preschool teacher and I would look and check out what type of lunches other moms were packing for their child. I had come to the conclusion that I didn’t measure up to other moms because my child’s lunch didn’t look like their child’s. I would go out of my way to make sure that my kids lunch reflected their child’s lunch. Was it because I wanted my child to be “super healthy” like theirs? No, it was because somewhere deep inside I had a mom insecurity and I had made other moms my standard to compare myself to be like.

(Read why I gave up trying to be the PERFECT MOM here.)

We do this all the time with EVERYTHING…don’t we? Okay maybe you have never done this, I am probably just throwing my own self under the bus right now by sharing some of the dumb embarrassing things I have done in my life! 😉

It is just Satan getting into our heads tying to make us insecure on who we are as WOMEN, as Mother’s, as Wifes, as Friends, and especially Daughters of Christ!

Insecure so that we do stupid things, like try to become someone we are not to feel accepted.

The good news is WE ARE ALREADY ACCEPTED! Even in our Sin we have a God who loves us and is waiting for us to acknowledge him and to believe in him. He loved us before we loved him. He created us unique for His Glory and His own Purpose. Ephesian’s 2:10 says that we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  GOOD WORKS, ETERNAL Works, that we should walk in them. I am not reading the part where we should compare and then become someone we are not, or that we should walk in someone else’s footsteps that He created for them. Oh, because it is not there!!

These silly standards that we measure ourselves up to turn into nothing eternal but only temporary. Your child is going to grow up into an adult, God willing! When he is an adult, no one will care what kind of diaper you put on his bum. Your body, your face, your hair, it will all age. We are all left with the same destiny and that is getting old and passing on.

I don’t want to waste one more second trying to become someone I am not created to be. What a waste that would be for my life God created just for me to live out!

Look at your finger prints. If God, the creator, went out of his way to give each one of us our very own set of finger prints, doesn’t this mean some thing to you about your value, your worth, your acceptance, your importance to HIM?

We are all special and unique, but as Sisters in Christ we are all connected.

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 1 Peter 3:8

Notice how there is no pressure to be the same on the outside, or the way we prepare lunches/dinners for our children, or to become a stereo type soccer mom, or an organics only mom, or the 6 pack abs mom, or the Trophy Wife, and become everybody’s BEST friend!

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I  posted this photo on my Facebook page. (Check out my Facebook page HERE!) It convicted me as to where my perspective has been lately. Let us live to be women who leave eternal gifts to our children, our husbands, our friends, and everyone else we meet along the way.

Love last forever! Acts of kindness remain within the recipient’s heart!

If you are currently chasing after something that you know in your heart just isn’t you, but because of fear of rejection you are allowing yourself to be involved or apart of it, I urge you to stop it today! Be brave enough to just be you. Be brave enough to love and accept yourself just the way you are. Also be brave enough to change the parts of you that you know you need to change for the better. You are worth becoming the best that God created you for!

Where is your heart today? Are you guilty of trying to be someone you are not? Do you know who you are?

Struggling with Identity? Check out my Confessions of a Tattoo Sleeved Mom HERE!

tattoomom

XOXO

Leigh Leigh

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2 Faced

8879406-winter-vacation-snowman-at-the-beach

 

After a three day cloudy, gloomy, rainy, wet and cold weather spell in the middle of Winter, the sun came out during my drive to pick up my children from school.  I could feel the golden warmth transcending through my wind shield. A brilliant idea popped into my head on this very chill cool January day. I would try to fake Summer! I blasted my heater as if to let myself become over heated,  pretty much how one feels on any hot Summer day here in Texas! As the heat blasted through my air vents I couldn’t help notice the chill I couldn’t seem to shake. You know the feeling when you have been outside for a while and you can’t seem to warm up? My hands turned the freezing hard steering wheel, and I couldn’t help but notice the chilly air reflecting off my driver seat window touching my exposed skin. Even though I tried. I could not fake Summer!

It lead me to thinking….

You can’t fake Summer on a cold windy Winter’s day like you can’t fake feelings!

2 faces I am not!

Being two faced means you are not coming to terms that it is okay to be hurt by someone’s actions and words. You are not being true to yourself or the person you are faking out. You walk around with a big smile on your face and pretend to like someone who has caused nothing but trouble and heartache in your life, and the lives of others you love. You are fake and a phony. You think that by pretending to play nice it is going to make things all better. You think it is going to make the anger from being hurt, violated, or rejected go away. It doesn’t. It festers up, the monster grows elephantine inside your heart.

I have prayed for my enemies. I have forgiven over and over and over again. But still I am left with the same feelings I thought I took care of years ago.

What I realize today are these truths.

When I am weak, HE is Strong and HIS grace is sufficient for me.        2 Corinthians 12:9 (Even if my weakness comes back time and time again.)

HE hears my cry for help, and delivers me out of my trouble. Psalm 34:17

HE understands how I feel. Hebrews 4:15

He will vindicate me, fight for me. Romans 12:19

I am loved, accepted, and forgiven. John 3:16

I am taking my “feelings” to God today. I am being honest with HIM expressing my hurts, my disappointments, my feelings, my hopes, my desires.. as I ask for forgiveness of my sins and ask him to be my rock, my strength, and to love like he does.

No more faking my feelings by forgiving others because I feel it is my “Christian duty,” and feeling resentful to God for it later when I don’t feel better,  but surrendering it all to HIM!

Until the peace HE promises comes, and I believe it will come, I will continue to not fake my emotions and I will continue to not be a Woman of 2 faces.

I will let Go and Let God transform my heart for me by His power, by His Grace, by His Love.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength and so can you!

Do you ever struggle with 2 faces?

Be you, Be true!

Leigh Leigh

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photo credit:http://blogs.sd41.bc.ca/buckingham-library/2011/12/02/holiday-borrowing/

 

 

Strong is the NEW SEXY! What do you think?

Have you heard that Strong is the new Sexy!? So now days you can’t even look like you just need to go eat a cheese burger anymore, you have to be buff and stacked, because strong is the new skinny! TALK ABOUT PRESSURE TO THE EGO!

Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media.  Information taken from http://www.dosomething.org Check out their 11 facts about body image HERE!

Over 60 percent of U.S. adult women are overweight, according to 2007 estimates from the National Center for Health Statistics of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Just over one-third of overweight adult women are obese. Information taken from http://www.womenshealth.gov

As a Christian woman I believe in Spiritual Warfare and how the enemy’s number one goal is to make sure we never know the truth about how God sees us. For one we are created in His image, and two He doesn’t judge our outward appearance, but our hearts! We were not created for some one else’s eye candy enjoyment. We should not have to live our lives revolved around harsh words spoken about our selves from our own selves, or others, or to be at war with everything we put in our mouths!

image found on pinterest
image found on pinterest

These bodies we have now will age and wither away like the flowers, but our souls will live for eternity.

It is hard to keep this perspective in mind when we are force feed nothing but images of I am assuming the 5% of our populations women, or some very good air brushing skills! ( Might I add, ever notice how all these beauty magazines are RIGHT by the Impulse JUNK FOOD! GASP!!- A true nightmare for any emotional eaters!)

And what is it with the NEW SEXY!!? Since when did the beautiful healthy design God created  our bodies to be for his glory be used and cheapened in todays society as market tools to make a buck with labels such as HOTT and SEXY?  I do believe God created our bodies to be Beautiful, Strong and Healthy! Sexy? Well I believe that is where the opinion of your spouse comes in!

Let’s take the focus off of being SEXY and focus on being HEALTHY, FREE from self condemnation, and WHOLE, made right by Christ!

Let’s not just be Healthy as in physical health, but also our spiritual and emotional health as well.

It is not SEXY or HEALTHY to have  what society calls the perfect body if you are trapped inside your own hell you have created in your mind of striving for perfection, self love, and self acceptance, and never obtaining it. Never looking or feeling good enough for your own standards. Not to mention over exhausting your physical abilities, or creating unhealthy eating disorders!

Eating disorders, depression, substance abuse, and early sexual activity in adolescents  spawn from poor self body image that is linked to self esteem.

I am not saying it is not okay to find some motivational pictures to help encourage you to lose weight or gain size, however as long as you are totally aware that the picture of them and their body is  a direct result of a long hard road of hard work, and dedication they spent on themselves.  Don’t expect to achieve that with out doing what they did to get that, unless of course they are the 5% of the population. 😉 Your results may not look the same. There is thing called genetics, and so you may just not have the genes to shape your body exactly like theirs, and that is okay!

Why?

Because you are special and unique, fearfully, and wonderfully made! Who wants to have the same exact everything as someone else on this planet? I know I for one do not! It wastes the beauty that was made on me when I was created in His image.  It wastes the beauty that was made on you when you were created as well!

Your body was created in God’s very own image.

Genesis-1-27

Back to the spiritual warfare: So how can we beat Satan at his own game? See I just recently learned that when Satan whispers things to us they are only half true. It is masked with sort of truth, but then there is the ugly lie.

The World wants us to see other women who are strong, athletic,  and lean, as nothing more then hot SEX symbols, and that our self worth, value, and happiness is all rolled into looking and feeling SEXY, but God want’s us to be healthy and strong so that we can have longevity to live out his works he has planned for our lives. He wants us to get our self worth, value, self love, happiness from Him and his love for us!

How can we continue to live out our calling and stay healthy, if we are constantly staying  still and stagnant while consuming fake food, processed junk food, and load of sugary drinks? This makes us feel like junk ourselves! You have to get moving and you have to start making better, cleaner eating choices!

Stop pursuing vanity and start pursuing health and wellness and growing in your faith. What is the bonus? A more alert, energized, revitalized,  strong, healthy, loving, and fit you!

1 Timothy 4:8 For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, but if your inside is full of junk, lies, jealousy, envy, hate, bitterness you are not beautiful at all!

God sees our hearts! He is constantly looking at the hearts of people searching back and forth across the whole earth, looking for people whose hearts are perfect toward him, so that he can show his great power in helping them (2 Chronicles 16:9 TLB). Notice I didn’t say he is searching the earth looking for the most attractive, slim, skinny, buff, hunky, beefy, stacked humans to carry out his work.

image found on pinterest
image found on pinterest

Change your perspective and your motives that are the driving force of your desire to change your weight or you body image, and you will see something beautiful happen! Self love, and Self acceptance.

image found at word-picture.org
image found at word-picture.org

You ARE BEAUTIFUL AND

image found on pinterest
image found on pinterest

 

Drown out the lies of the world and Satan with some LOUD music…..while you are out running or getting your work out on!

They may say Strong is the NEW SEXY….

but……

JESUS IS THE NEW HAPPY!

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

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You may also like She doesn’t love herself, and my Fitness Transformation.

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