Here it is…………
Drum roll please………….
Just be happy! 🙂
“A glad heart makes a happy face;
a broken heart crushes the spirit.” Proverbs 15:13
A happy face means a smiling face 😀 and we all know a smiling face is a gorgeous one!
This is no romantic love note my dear. I guess there is no sweet way to say this, so please forgive me for being so blunt, but I don’t have it in me to continue this fling we have going on.
First of all you suffocate me with your presence! Your EVERY WHERE! I can’t go anywhere alone with out you following my every move. I mean your at the store, the doctors office, the dry cleaners, the bank, the grocery mart, my work place, and even hiding out at my friends houses! You only thought you were sneaky, think again!
You make me act like a needy little school girl with a puppy dog love crush. My behavior has turned into one of those obnoxious “I can’t live with out you or I will die” kind of senseless ones. When I am stressed out, I need you. When I am feeling depressed, I need you. When I am happy, I want you. When I am bored, I want you and need you. I could go on with all different sorts of scenarios but well you don’t need to know all my weaknesses! I have become extremely co-dependent!
I can’t concentrate on any one thing because you consistently nag me like a retail shoe sells men working only on commission all the time with your sweet promises to satisfy me which you don’t. Okay I am LYING!! You satisfy me but for like maybe 10 to 30 seconds at a time. I am excited for a whole second until I can no longer taste your sweet delicious goodness on my tongue any more. Our encounters usually end up leaving me with a hangover or a severe stomachache, trying to consume enough of you to fulfill my desires at one time.
You whisper sweet nothings into my ear as I walk by you. YOU Tease!
The Sweet nothings and taunts go a little like this:
“Look at me, I’m so DELICOUS! Just one bite that’s all you need.” “Look at me I am “fun size.” It’s not even like you are getting all of me. Just a little bit of my love wont hurt you girl!” “You have been good all day, you Deserve me!” “No one has to know!”
The hardest part about you to swallow is the cold hard fact that you are a LYING NO GOOD CHEATER!! I heard Courtney talking about how delicious you were to her as well. It’s not even just her, apparently like ALL WOMEN have had some of you! You dog! Here I was thinking I was your one and only, like we had something special.
Your mind controlling powers lead to a serious distraction of my own needs.
I often tend to put your first. Ugh I hate myself!
You leave me with guilt and resentment for days. This guilt and resentment is what drives me to depression which leads me finding you and its a vicious cycle that never ends!
You wreck my self control! I keep telling myself I am going to quit you, but I keep going back for more and more!
You are no good for my self esteem. That’s right, you make me feel FAT! The more of you I consume, the larger my med section becomes. The uglier I feel!
You spike my insulin and can actually cause me to become a diabetic with too much consumption of you. You murderer. It’s like a FATAL ATTRACTION!
After much thought and consideration to the long term harmful effects this relationship has on me, I have decided it is time for me to take you out like yesterday’s trash!
Oh, and I don’t need you trying to come crawling back into my life either. You’re not sneaky popping up on fruit, or bacon, or popcorn, so don’t even try to attempt that!
I journal A LOT!
I don’t really use my journal for a record of my daily life or the physical events that took place that day. I usually journal more about the journey of my spiritual life. I record my feelings, emotions, events that would change my circumstances, and the reactions to these life changing moments that happen every single day. I record what the Holy Spirit is guiding me through, or teaching me. I have learned that I can really see how God is moving in and through my life as I glance back and read forward.
It is a great way to learn more about myself. After all, I didn’t create me and I love the fact that the bible tells us that God knows us better then we even know our own selves. We shouldn’t be so quick to trust our own hearts and our own feelings. Feelings are fickle and change instantly. When I journal my reactions and feelings it helps me in the future how to better handle a situation more gracefully. You would also be surprised at how much God speaks to us every day through the word, devotionals, social media, friends, songs, etc.. I am sure to record all these little messages as well!
I am warning you this can also bring light to your nasty little monsters that live inside!!! You know, jealousy, bitterness, strife, envy, anger, unforgviness, but that is a good thing because in order to KILL a monster you gotta STARVE it to DEATH! :0) When I journal I can quickly see what is in my heart as I am spewing it out onto the paper. This is a good time to reflect and pray for what ever area I am struggling in. My hope is that by sharing with you some very intimate truths about me and my life that you may be able to see the truths in yours and let the Holy Spirit guide you through the same issues you might be facing.
There is beauty in all of our messes!
Yes you can count on it! If you start to become self centered or self absorbed, you will fall into the trap of SELF PITY!
The Self pity trap, we have all been there and been caught in that! Well, at least I know I have been. It’s actually quiet embarrassing to admit when we are snatched up in it, but thankfully I realized today that I had fallen and I needed some help getting out! I can’t even believe I let myself fall into it in the first place. Self pity doesn’t tend to be a little hole, nope its usually more like a gigantic crater we get stuck in and we never know for sure how to get out of it because its so big and monstrous in size we don’t realize we fell in to begin with.
Let me be a little more specific. It all happened about a few weeks ago. Well let’s back up to Easter. I was on a really good work out regimen, I was very strict with my eating and the inches were falling off. I was running daily and felt very good. My husband took a leave of absence from his job, and I started back full time at my part time job. My life was completely thrown out of my regular routine and it completely through me for a loop! I lost my motivation to stick to my diet, I lost my self control, I lost my discipline! I did however continue to work out as much as I could! The scale started going up, and my self esteem started crashing down. My jeans felt a little more snug. I also have a extremely bad habit of stress eating. I was stressing because I was trying to juggle it all with he husband home. Who knows how much stuff really gets completed when the husband is home!? Yeah, that is right, nothing!! 🙂 I am not complaining though, I have loved every extra minuet I have spent with him over the last month!
The words coming out of my mouth were harsh and criticizing about myself, and I had finally had ENOUGH of my own self. I’m sharing this all with you to help you dig yourself out of the hole you might have accidentally fallen into as well! So here we go. Let’s dig out together!
Tips to climb out of the monster hole of SELF PITY:
Psalm 51:12 ESV
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Self pity steals your beauty and it starts to make you ugly, but it starts from the inside and transfers it’s way to the outside. Joy will come back to you if you are willing to dig yourself out!
DON’T LET YOUR BEAUTY GET STOLEN!!! 😉
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Motherhood came quickly for me. I was 20 years old when I said, “I do” to my dear husband almost 9 years ago. I became instamom and we became an instafamily. Being that young and entering into the whole momma role I decided I didn’t want to wait to have our children. I was 21 when we welcomed my now 7 year old son, and I was 24 when we welcomed my now 4 year old daughter.
In high school I could not gain weight to save my life. I was extremely skinny. Would I give anything now to have that metabolism. My husband says it all the time, “Youth is wasted on the young!” Ha Boy is he never lying. I never was one to work out or even consider myself a gym person. In high school I participated in the athletics program. So whatever the coaches had planned for our daily regimen, I did. That was the extent of my athleticism. Looking back now at old pictures, it’s hard to remember who I was back then. I had gained a lot of weight with each one of my babies. I was the nerd who believed you should eat for two and so I did. I went from 135-170lbs! Nursing them both always sucked the weight off very quickly after my pregnancies, but my body would never be the same in my eyes, and I became depressed.
Here is ME about to pop November 2009.
My dear husband joined a local gym when we moved and got settled into our new town. He worked out during both of my pregnancies. So as I got bigger, he got buffer! :0) I am not sure how exactly he talked me into going to the gym with him, but he did. I started working out, (weight training) religiously after my baby girl turned 6 months old. I will most definitely blog about the benefits of working out with your spouse another time. I haven’t looked back since then, and I don’t ever plan on it. I began to discover who I wanted to be through working out and making healthy eating choices. I was taking back my identity and I happened to really enjoy myself. We should all strive to be our own best friend because lets just face it, we can never escape ourselves. There is no other self gratifying feeling then to watch your body change because of the hard work , healthy choices, time, dedication, You invested in yourself.
I’m not suggesting that you take this to the extreme and become obsessed with yourself or start thinking all high and mighty about how you are better then others. Absolutely not! But taking the time to love yourself for who you are, the person whom God created , and what you want to become will challenge you. It will shape you and it will mold you into a better person.
Jesus answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27
I think this is a huge piece of the puzzle to that very important command. (as you love yourself)
How much you love yourself will reflect on how much you love others! WOW I believe having a positive and healthy self image is extremely important as well. Just on that point alone I could blog for a hours, but I wont today. I will save all these other important beliefs in upcoming blogs.
Instead, I will leave you with this question, how are you loving yourself today?
Are you saying kind things about yourself or constantly tearing yourself down with your own ugly words of criticism? Remember how you are loving yourself should be the same way you are loving others! I lost sight of loving myself after raising my small babies. Don’t let motherhood hold you back from working out and reaching personal goals. You don’t have to do it by yourself either. Include your spouse and your littles!
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*gotta love those bathroom selfies 😉