Jump back on

Monday equals fresh start to the week! If you jumped off the band wagon over the weekend why not start back today?

I have learned that when I stop doing what I am suppose to be doing to keep my body in check doubt creeps in my mind! When I am busy keeping up with my running and my work outs, there is no room for doubt!

The more you do something, the easier it gets. The less you do something, the harder it gets!

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Let’s do this!
Leigh Leigh

2 Faced

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After a three day cloudy, gloomy, rainy, wet and cold weather spell in the middle of Winter, the sun came out during my drive to pick up my children from school.  I could feel the golden warmth transcending through my wind shield. A brilliant idea popped into my head on this very chill cool January day. I would try to fake Summer! I blasted my heater as if to let myself become over heated,  pretty much how one feels on any hot Summer day here in Texas! As the heat blasted through my air vents I couldn’t help notice the chill I couldn’t seem to shake. You know the feeling when you have been outside for a while and you can’t seem to warm up? My hands turned the freezing hard steering wheel, and I couldn’t help but notice the chilly air reflecting off my driver seat window touching my exposed skin. Even though I tried. I could not fake Summer!

It lead me to thinking….

You can’t fake Summer on a cold windy Winter’s day like you can’t fake feelings!

2 faces I am not!

Being two faced means you are not coming to terms that it is okay to be hurt by someone’s actions and words. You are not being true to yourself or the person you are faking out. You walk around with a big smile on your face and pretend to like someone who has caused nothing but trouble and heartache in your life, and the lives of others you love. You are fake and a phony. You think that by pretending to play nice it is going to make things all better. You think it is going to make the anger from being hurt, violated, or rejected go away. It doesn’t. It festers up, the monster grows elephantine inside your heart.

I have prayed for my enemies. I have forgiven over and over and over again. But still I am left with the same feelings I thought I took care of years ago.

What I realize today are these truths.

When I am weak, HE is Strong and HIS grace is sufficient for me.        2 Corinthians 12:9 (Even if my weakness comes back time and time again.)

HE hears my cry for help, and delivers me out of my trouble. Psalm 34:17

HE understands how I feel. Hebrews 4:15

He will vindicate me, fight for me. Romans 12:19

I am loved, accepted, and forgiven. John 3:16

I am taking my “feelings” to God today. I am being honest with HIM expressing my hurts, my disappointments, my feelings, my hopes, my desires.. as I ask for forgiveness of my sins and ask him to be my rock, my strength, and to love like he does.

No more faking my feelings by forgiving others because I feel it is my “Christian duty,” and feeling resentful to God for it later when I don’t feel better,  but surrendering it all to HIM!

Until the peace HE promises comes, and I believe it will come, I will continue to not fake my emotions and I will continue to not be a Woman of 2 faces.

I will let Go and Let God transform my heart for me by His power, by His Grace, by His Love.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me Strength and so can you!

Do you ever struggle with 2 faces?

Be you, Be true!

Leigh Leigh

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photo credit:http://blogs.sd41.bc.ca/buckingham-library/2011/12/02/holiday-borrowing/

 

 

Saying Goodbye to being a Mother of a Preschooler

I feel like I am mixed up in TRANSITION of no longer being a Mother of preschool aged children!

For the past 10 years I have had at least one child who was preschool age at home. My story of a Mother of 4 is a little complicated. I have actually been even if only momentarily a Mother of over 18 children. I know what your thinking so let me answer your question! No, I am not related to the Old Lady Who Lived in a Shoe!

I have been a Mother of a preschooler for 10 years!!!

The journey started when I was 19. I married a man who had  primary custody of his two small children 2 and 5. We married when I was 20 which officially made me step mom to his 3 and 6 year old children. At the age of 21 I had my first child who is now 8. We began our foster parent journey while he was 2. We have fostered over 18 children from 2008- until just last month!

The small 2 year old and 5 year old I fell in love with 10 years ago are now 13 (middle school) and 16 (high school )! My baby is 5 (pre-k) and my oldest is 8 (elementary).

Having a preschooler in the house has been a HUGE part of my mom identity for so long I am now having some issues getting use to being a part of the “older kids Mom Club!” (If there is such a thing, because I can’t seem to find one!) I mean I have a 16 year old Step Son for crying out loud! Ha ..not to mention I am only 29!

It seems that there is a high demand for encouragement and advice for Moms of preschoolers! I would know! I served as a leader of the MOPS STEERING team for 2 years and loved every minuet of it. I attended the MOMCONs which we AMAMAZING I like to add!

Where is my child is not a preschooler but not a teenager either Club, or the Club for the Mom who has two sets of aged children: Not preschool/not teenager and Mom of TEENS!? I need help and support when I get asked where babies come from, why there are evil people in the world, why cake is not considered a dinner food, why some people have two mommies and two daddies and I only have one!? The list goes on!

Motherhood is a  journey in itself. As we are raising our children up to be suitable adults, we are growing more mature all the while, and all the wiser! A mother of a preschooler seems to be trapped into that identity and mindset even if she does have much older children she is raising as well! Let’s not mention how Step motherhood is like a whole nother adventure of motherhood!!! Foster Motherhood is bitter, sweet.

To think that this coming fall I will not have any small children at home feels so strange and foreign to me. I work at a Mothers Day Out Preschool three days a week so even while I am at work, my child has been there with me. Next year she will be going to public school, and I will officially be separated from all my children during the school day! 😦

I am basically just rambling, but I am curious if this is just a normal thought/emotional process for a mom who is no longer a mom to a child under 4?

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

Never again! Bad dreams and co-sleeping with your child! #momstruggle

My babies are older now. It’s been a good four year since we have had a little bitty baby in the house. Some days I miss that. Mine are 5 and 8 now.

Some nights I lay awake day dreaming about how I wish they were still little enough to snuggle with at night. Little warm and lavender smelling heaters to keep you warm and cozy all night. I would long for a night they would ask to sleep with us because they were afraid of a shadow on the wall of some sort.

It just doesn’t really happen here.

In those day dreams this is exactly what I had envisioned……

See isn’t this so sweet!!? Momma Cat is snuggling baby cat keeping her little safe and sound. Awe… No more bad dreams baby, Mommy is here!

Can I just interrupt this mushy moment with a little dose of reality!?

Well it finally happened last night! Our 5 year old daughter came bolting in our room tears and all with that sweet little innocent voice: “Daddy I want you!”

“Okay get in the middle of us!”

That warm sweet lavender scented soft baby has vanished leaving me with a sleepy, whiney, very boney, sweaty ball of a mess child! She didn’t smell so sweet, or lovely for that matter! More like Chicken Nuggets and Cheetos, laced with smelly feet!

I can’t recall much but if I could paint you a picture I am pretty sure my night looked a lot like these pictures to follow..

We started the night out in my favorite sleeping position. Momma on her back! Now imagine a life size 5 year old on my tummy, and I am not quiet that wide! 🙂

That position left me winded and uncomfortable so I rolled over onto my side. This is where her sweaty hair was suffocating me!

I manage to push her off my face and try this half side, half stomach position.

I suspect we got away with this co-sleeping position for a good portion of the night. Well, until my shoulder started to hurt and my side began to ache!

I decided it was time to give the whole tummy position a run for it’s money! After all it’s probably close to 2 in the morning and I am beginning to feel severely UNCOMFORTABLE!

Oh brother.. I am going Apes, Bananas!!

Why can’t she roll over and sleep next to her DADDY!? It was HE WHO LET THE LITTLE DARLING INTO OUR BED! Why ME, Why ME!? Why am I the only one being pressed down on, kicked, slapped, elbowed, kneed, sweated, and slobbered on!!!!??

She is Child by day, Ninja Warrior by night!

image found on yahooimages

image found on http://www.fanpop.com

HELP! I can’t even breath at this point!

*imagine found at 3.bp.blogspot.com

*imagine found at 3.bp.blogspot.com

And She has the nerve to wake up looking like this!

“Good Morning Momma!”

I am all like, “Good morning Kenna!”

My body feels like I just fought off a bull in my sleep all night!

Dodge this leg, dodge that elbow

Dodge this leg, dodge that elbow

Spanish bull fighter Jose Tomas

Spanish bull fighter Jose Tomas

NEVER AGAIN! NEVER!!!!! My back hurts, my arms hurt, my neck is stiff, I am sore all over!

So thank you DADDY and thank you POPPA for letting her watch that Scary Movie. I think if she comes back again, I am moving to the couch!

🙂 The countless joys of Motherhood!

Here is an actually picture of proof just how crazy our night was last night!!!

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Smile,

Leigh Leigh

Be sure to check out MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY HERE FOR MORE LAUGHS!

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Breaking “Perfect Mom”

I have officially given up on being the “Prefect Mom!”

Now wait before you go judging hear me out! This urge to be the “Perfect Mom” comes with the territory of being a “Step Mom” and a “Foster Mom” as well. To be quit frank it has been exhausting and completely stupid to say the least!

The older I get the more I realize my kids, step kids, and foster kids don’t need me to be the “Perfect Mom.” Perfect as in one who: never never cries or feel depressed, loses her cool, never stumbles, never does something completely stupid, never misses an appointment, or sleeps through an alarm, forgets a pep rally, a lunch, wouldn’t dare open her mouth without thinking, never burns a meal, or has an untidy house. I have tired myself down to nothing trying to maintain the perfect clean house while staying on top of laundry for seven people in my home, attending as many sports games between three of my five children as I possibly could, and juggling a part time job. My smile was plastered on BIG and BRIGHT, but I felt empty and disappointed on the inside.

My children need a real mom. One whose love knows no end, disciplines when she would rather be their friend, one who is always there for them, attentive to their wants, desires, and needs, and shows grace when it is or isn’t merited. They need me more then I need the illusion of being the “Prefect Mom.”

I don’t want my children to live with false expectations of what the world has to offer in other people. I am no one special, just a woman who is trying her best at this whole wife, mother thing! I have days where I feel like an overachiever, and days like a true failure. I am a woman so I can experience both of these highs and lows about 30 times in one day!

I want my kids to see me at my best, and at my worst. When I am in first place and on top of the world am I showing them what humbleness and humility looks like? When I finish in last place and feeling down and out do I complain, or extend blame on everyone else’s short coming but my own? How about my attitude? They are watching you know, every move you make, your actions and reactions.

I want them to know that I don’t expect perfection out of them, just their best! I want them to know that I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mother” for them, but not my true honest attempts to be the best version of myself for them as their Mom. There is no such thing as perfection on this earth in my eyes, so striving for that only exhaust me and disappoints me.

I want my children to grow up being real people! I don’t want them to feel like they have to fake perfection to make other people accept them or love them. I want them to know that there will be days where they will need grace and mercy and days where they will need to extend grace and mercy to others.

We all have a story, a past, made mistakes, experienced life changing events that have impacted us and helped shape us into who we are today. I long for the days I can sit up late talking to them like we are friends, sharing my past days of when I was little with them, all the dumb things I did, and all the fun adventures I lived as well, but Today is not that day.

Today is the day I show them love, and I teach them discipline. Today is the day I  train them up in the way they should live and treat others, how to make right choices, help mold their character, and  teach them to always do the right thing, even if it “feels” wrong. Today is the day I show them how to seek first the kingdom of God,  putting others needs before their own, and teach them how to love and forgive themselves and others around them.

It’s imperative that I share the love of Christ with them, building them up on truth and what God says about them! I think it is important that they realize that while I am their Mother here on this earth, there will be a time when I will be a sister in Christ, glorifying our Lord and Savior with them together some day.

I long for that day! That day when all this responsibility of being a Mom is gone and I am left with just being their loving sister in Christ. I will hope that they learned from me, received love from me, knew that I was just trying to give it my best, and while we were here together I loved them the closest to how God loves us, unconditionally!

When I think of how much I love them, my heart burst to know how much I am loved as a daughter of Christ! My love is far from perfect, but his love is perfect for me and every other Momma out there!

I am giving up on being the “Perfect Mom’, but  will never give up on becoming my best each day for them. They were hand selected just for me! When insecurities creep in my mind, I just remind myself that they are an exact reflection of Gods love, and a reminder that I have everything they need out of a Mom to raise them up to be bold and courageous soldiers for him!

If your an Expecting Mom, a New Mom, a Veteran Mom, a Step Mom, an Adoptive Mom, a Foster Mom, you have everything your child needs to feel loved and to be loved! Don’t seek perfection, seek Jesus, he who is Perfect will work out all the perfection you need from him through you for them, and remember in your weakest mommy moments, he is strong! Lean on him, cry to him, ask him to carry your burden load.

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How has being a Mom changed you? Are you seeking perfection on your adventure of motherhood? Please share and comment below.

Leigh Leigh

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A Mom Who Wants To Be More

If I could bottle up the wisdom that comes with being a little innocent child I would! To be an adult and look at life through the lenses of my daughter at her ripe age of 4, I could learn so much!

She sees the world in ways my jaded heart just can’t perceive. It’s her blank canvas. She is the paint brush as she grabs a hold of everything vibrant, bold, and colorful to leave her mark in this world!

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She inspires me each day to just be the creature God created me to be. Unique and one of a kind!

I think I read a quote some where a long time ago that said, “Be an original, not a copy.” I think that’s what God intended us to be. Our own unique one of a kind being that he created that way on purpose. It is so the world can see his glory and his imagination, his creativity.

I love the way she dresses herself! She hardly ever matches.

I love the way she has no care in the world that half her pony tail has been unraveled and hanging from one side of her head for the whole entire day.

I love how she can wear a jacket, shorts, and rain boots when it’s 86 degrees outside with no clouds in sight!

I love how she can tell me what’s on her mind uncensored but sincere.

She is always smiling and always being silly. Nothing she does ever surprises me!

Just today she came running over to the neighbors to show us her face which was completely covered in burgundy lipstick! “Oh Kenna,” I said, “we have got to wash that off before it breaks your face out into a rash!!”

I giggle with fascination that she has both me and her Daddy’s best characteristics (looks and personalities) but she is also just her own self, Kenna!

God please let me live with a heart and a mind like hers. Help me to accept and love myself and be the person you created me to be. Let me truly know and believe that my worth and security comes from no where, no place, and no one person’s opinions of me, but just you!

The world is a cruel, harsh, non-accepting place, but only we can imprison ourselves to be held captive in that brash reality.

Here is to holding onto that freedom we receive in Christ to just be who we are and want to be!

I think being a Mother is a beautiful gift. We have so much responsibility and freedom to raise our children how we see fit. The more I mature and grow in wisdom the more I start to see the purpose of Motherhood. Yes we absolutely have to nurture and provided the needs of our children. They need to be healthy and loved, but I want to be more then just a mom who provides a yummy home cooked meal on the table each night, a mom who washes their clothes, cleans up after their messes, taxies them to and from, cheers them on, bandages and doctors their boo boos, helps mend broken hearts from unforgiving statements made by so called friends.

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I want most of all to leave the impression on them that they are loved, not only by their Mommy and Daddy but by Christ. I want them to love themselves and be confident in who God created them to be. I want them to believe in themselves, their abilities and God given talents and gifts. I want to do this by believing in these truths for myself, loving myself and growing in my relationship with Christ so that his love and truths would flow through me and onto them, living and leading by example.

Your children will learn about your insecurities by the way you talk about yourself In front of them. They will start to believe that because they are your child they automatically will inherit these flaws as well.

I want to tell my daughter that she is perfect in my eyes. She has the best style and the sweetest words on the hardest mommy moment days.

Stay innocent and precious and strong headed. Don’t let the lies of this world tell you aren’t good enough, smart enough, fashionable enough, skinny enough, tall enough, creative enough, strong enough, etc..

You are the perfection of His Creation.

Found on lovelyfestevents.com

Found on lovelyfestevents.com

 

XoXoXoXo

Leigh Leigh

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9 Things Learned from a cRAZy Busy Month #motherhoodstruggles FUNNY

To make light of the Chaotic Month of October here is an insert straight from my *TOP SECRET* Journal!

9 Things I learned from what seemed like the craziest month of my LIFE!

#1 When your memory fails you, there are emails, text messages, and social media posts to retain every moment of our life! (Maybe it’s not so bad for you after all to be an addict!??)

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#2 When given any opportunity to sit still long enough, or lie horizontal you will fall asleep on accident and maybe even snore or drool because your body is so sleep deprived from going non stop!

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#3 “Mommy Time Outs” are FOR REAL and when used in moderation (10-20 minuets after you come home from work, or just anytime in your day) will SAVE your afternoon and your SANITY!

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#4 Gym stretchy leggings will become apart of your daily casual wear and you can be okay with this! Why? Well all the hours of cardio and weight lifting are sculpting some nice legs!

(sorry no selfie..will work on this though!) 😉

#5  If you ditch your make up, made up hair style, and decide to skip the contacts and wear your glasses all day including public outings, your kids will question if you are okay! (My son was very puzzled when I picked him up from school after work looking like a scrub! “Mom are you okay?”) LOL

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#6 PB&J on a tortilla is a wonderful back up sandwich when you run out of bread on a Thursday morning.

#lunchtimestruggles

#7 There are still NO EXCUSES for MISSING morning runs! These make you feel better!

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#8 If you feed your kids cereal for DINNER (because it’s 30 minuets past their bed time due to a football game) they will announce to the world, shout it off the roof tops that you ARE “THE BEST MOM EVER!!” (I have waited my whole life for that moment-thank you cereal!) 😉

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#9 If you have to skip out on laundry and cleaning up your chaotic dirty house, the mess will not disappear or disown you, it will be waiting patiently for your attention multiplying by the seconds!

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WOW I feel so much more knowledged! I’m SO happy and thrilled I had to endure craziness to learn such fascinating things! 🙂

 

GO Busy Mommas ALL OVER THE WORLD!!

WE ROCK!

Leigh Leigh

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November Please Be Good to Me

Just when I feel like I have this crazy season of Motherhood in the bag, I quickly become inflated like a balloon pricked by a sharp pin. POP!

I honestly can not recall much of October. I feel as though it was so busy I lived an entire alternate life inside of an alternate world, which was completelty disconnectd from my mind and my memories. Did I just live, go, go, go and kick into survival mode? It’s pretty sad when you have to go to social media just to see what you did last week in hopes you did actually take a picture of a real actual moment that did happen, or go through text messages with your husband to recall an event you needed to document for whatever reason, but don’t realize that event in fact happened in September! September! I feel like you were my friend last year not last month.

****And exactly after I finished the previous sentence my four year old opened our gate and let my wild dog out. I just sat down after chasing him across the streets of our neighborhood.****

He is new to our family as we have only had him for about a month, and he loves to test the limits.

It’s funny I decided to write a blog to encourage other mothers. I often feel like I am the one in need of encouragement.

Right when you think you have Motherhood pegged down, life comes with constant changes and challenges causing you to fall off the tight line your walking. I am in a circus act right now but I can’t seem to make it across the tight walk. I keep falling into the net down bellow that is catching me. My net of course would be my husband in this season. The net is a constant reminder to get back on the tight rope until I make it all the way across.

Having a Husband who loves you, cares about you, and simply adores you is a blessing that I will never take for granted! With out him and just his love and support, I often wonder how I would even make it. ❓❓❓❓

I have neglected my blog because quite frankly I have had no time to sit down and write. No time to think about anything that would be helpful. No time to create something funny or fun, for you my readers, and for that I apologize.

I’m in a pruning season. But I know through God’s love and grace I will come out of it something beautiful and a better person because of it.

Can you relate? What is some advice you could share that has helped you relax and keep on trucking?

Leigh Leigh XO

Fight to be “That Mom”

It’s MENTAL!!

This is a continuation of my blog post The proof isn’t in the pudding…it’s in the picture! Read it HERE!

You have decided that you want to be “that mom”! You know the one with 10 kids and a set of Abs! 🙂 Awesome! Well first things first….

You got to WANT IT and you got to be willing to FIGHT FOR IT!

“Wait what?”

Yes I said it, “YOU got to be ready to fight for it!”

“Why do I need to fight for it?” You are probably asking yourself!

Well because once you want something so bad you can taste it you seem to find resistance, temptation, and a million reasons why this will never work! It’s called SELF DEFEAT…and you have been around that mountain TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT!  Be prepared to be mentally STRONG! I talk about my transformation story HERE. It’s not only about my body but my mind as well!

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Be prepared to take CONTROL of your busy life but also be FELXABLE!

Doesn’t that seem kind of like an oxymoron?

Yes, it does but lets be realistic here! IF you are a mother of small children, you know there will be those chaotic out of your control days when your children will get sick, and unexpected events will occur which will have the potential to derail your work out schedule! That’s okay! It happens! The most important thing is that you stick to is this. DON’T LET IT put a complete HALT to your goals! You can’t have a bad three day span or a week and then decide to throw in the towel to the whole thing! (I know, been there, felt like it.) Keep pushing forward. Be forgiving and extend grace to yourself!  READ …SET BACKS!

Be prepared meaning have a schedule for your work outs for the week and stick to them! If something causes you to miss, then already have a plan to make up for the work out or cardio session.

For me I have had to adjust my 5 day a week schedule of working out and cardio because of School Events and Work. I work at a Preschool so summer days our mine to spend how I choose!

found on pinterest

found on pinterest

 

I lift weights Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday but I run Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday! Check out what I discovered about Fasted Cardio here….nice results!

I recommend joining a GYM or some type of FITNESS center!

If you are having doubts or fears about joining a gym please read my 8 Awesome ways to Conquer your gym-phobia here.

Maybe you just don’t want to join a gym but are considering purchasing a home gym? I say go for it! Heavy weights will not bulk you up like the Hulk, they will help burn fat and create lean muscle tone.

Need help with a work out routine but you don’t want to hire a personal trainer at your local gym? Google Weight lifting work out for women or go to http://www.bodybuilding.com and search there. I am not a personal trainer so I can’t really give you “expert advice.” I can share with you what my work outs look like. You can ask me by commenting below or you can email me at leighleighspeaks@gmail.com. Please put Work out Routines in your subject box So I don’t spam it!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

pinterest find

pinterest find

 

Words to pray and speak over yourself during the beginning stages of your new journey:

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

DO NOT BE AFRAID!!

Stay Strong

-Leigh Leigh

 

What is holding you back right now? Let’s talk it out, I would love to be able to share some encouragement with you! Comment below!

Follow my blog! Follow me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks or twitter @ash_leighharris God Bless!

 

 

 

My Kids are Driving ME CRAZY

Ever have one of these days where you are asking yourself this very question?

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Well I have some GOOD NEWS for YOU!

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🙂

You can spot children out quickly because like everything you tell them to do, they will completely ignore! (This goes especially for my 4 year olds!)

funny-girl-biting-cake-mom-said-not-touch-pics

 

And we don’t want to leave out the TEENAGERS and all their 5,487….(mood swing’s)

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OR the Whining..

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and the Tattle tailing every 5 minuets!!!

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Dinner time will never be the same…

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I mean seriously, I have yet to understand how a four year old can live off of lunch meat every meal….LUNCH MEAT!???????

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Mommy TIME OUTS are regular part of your day and you better bet your bottom dollar you will enforce this rule..

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But no matter how stressful and tired and run down they may have you feeling today, you can always guarantee some good ol’ love and hugs are in order!

 

Why?

Because they ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU!

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And this is why we wouldn’t change a thing about motherhood!! 🙂

a mothers love sentiment

 

Motherhood is AWESOME!!!    🙂

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I hope this brought a smile to your face!

xoxo

Leigh Leigh

Follow my blog here, and Facebook http://www.facebook.com/leighleighspeaks , Twitter @ash_leighharris!

I would love to hear some funny Motherhood stories!! Comment bellow!